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incredibly sad over short term relationship ending.


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There are those times people will cross your path and you feel like you've known them in another life.  Everything is effortless. 

Then the next person, the connection feels strained and awkward.  Mind you, you are the same person in both scenarios.  Some people just bring out the best in us.

Of course we can be more open, but we often don't feel intimately connected with everyone if something doesn't inspire us to dig a little deeper.

I hear you.   I spent most of my adulthood being the 'nice' person and wanting to be liked.  Long story short, I wasn't being genuine.  I was trying to be perfect.  People relate to the human condition and humans aren't perfect.  Warts and all, quirky imperfections and that's when someone feels like they know you and you are being transparent.  With the right recipient, it works.   

I used to wait for the right person or until I felt safe to do so.  I had this 'ah hah' moment that it wasn't about waiting 'til I found someone I could trust.  It was all about trusting myself.  This-is-me.

Like most responders, it's one or the other or a combination of the both.  He wasn't the right guy for you.  If you believe so, for some reason you may have held back. Why?  That's a question you only know the answer to. But going fwd, be transparent and genuine.  It's not the same as giving it away to someone undeserving.  You trust that you can share parts of yourself that doesn't cost you anything.  And no matter, what you have what it takes.  

Fast fwd, I meet a great guy but I can't get in touch with him.  He's being perfect, giving me perfect answers. Not being genuine and I can't intimately connect with him.   So, I went on my way, realizing what it might have felt like to date me, several years prior.

 

Edited by reinventmyself
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