limichelle Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 You need to lose weight for YOU! Who cares what he says or thinks about how he feels about it! I honestly would say “That’s nice.” Then show him the door. I dated a guy who I had fun with but he was just overall a crappy guy! He wouldn’t have sex because of my being overweight. I then broke things off. Why be with someone who won’t embrace you at any weight? Also the fact he withholds sex from you is just mean! There’s better op! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 30 minutes ago, lunamoon said: . My ex husband made me feel terrible about it so I came off the meds before I was ready. I did drop the weight but felt terrible so this time I’m going to take my time. Excellent. This time stick to what works. Focus first and foremost on your mental health. Keep in mind the weight gain will level out and you'll be able to focus on fitness better when your mental health is intact . Stay the course. Don't change or go off medications that work. Jerking your neurochemistry around will only set you back and exacerbate everything. Changing or discontinuing meds that work makes no sense. Link to comment
lunamoon Posted January 13, 2021 Author Share Posted January 13, 2021 9 hours ago, boltnrun said: You have a pattern of getting involved with superficial men. Do you feel like your looks are the only way you have to attract men? I just now made this connection to my ex husband. I have some things to think about. I don’t think my looks are the only way to get men. I’m actually not that confident in my looks but I am confident in other things about myself that I think are attractive. For example I’m smart, I have a masters degree in chemistry and a great job. I’m funny, people love to record me goofing off. I’m caring and compassionate, I like to volunteer. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 4 minutes ago, lunamoon said: I just now made this connection to my ex husband. I have some things to think about. I don’t think my looks are the only way to get men. I’m actually not that confident in my looks but I am confident in other things about myself that I think are attractive. For example I’m smart, I have a masters degree in chemistry and a great job. I’m funny, people love to record me goofing off. I’m caring and compassionate, I like to volunteer. I'm reading a book with my son (who's almost 12) about a boy his age-ish who loves science and especially loves to create incredibly smelly potions -- there's some foreshadowing about how he might use the potion against the school bully. I'll just leave that there as a potential out of the box solution lol - but don't record it...... Yes, all those qualities are awesome and I love the variety in your list because there are many people who would love that because how you describe yourself is like a multi-layered package and the person fortunate enough to get to know you gets to unwrap the layers, see that you actually defy labeling and -bonus -you're compassionate and a lot of fun (and if all else fails do the magic love potion thing!) Link to comment
lunamoon Posted January 13, 2021 Author Share Posted January 13, 2021 9 minutes ago, Batya33 said: I'm reading a book with my son (who's almost 12) about a boy his age-ish who loves science and especially loves to create incredibly smelly potions -- there's some foreshadowing about how he might use the potion against the school bully. Lol this made me laugh, thank you! Link to comment
bluecastle Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 1 hour ago, lunamoon said: I just now made this connection to my ex husband. I have some things to think about. Certainly appears so, from these seats. Seems a pretty stark pattern, from what you've offered. 1 hour ago, lunamoon said: For example I’m smart, I have a masters degree in chemistry and a great job. I’m funny, people love to record me goofing off. I’m caring and compassionate, I like to volunteer. If I talked to your boyfriend—today, three months ago, whatever—do you think he would celebrate these qualities in you? Does he value your interest in chemistry, professional ambition, goofy sense of humor, and compassionate nature in the same way he does your looks? Might be another thing to think about. Link to comment
maritalbliss86 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Keep in mind the weight gain will level out and you'll be able to focus on fitness better when your mental health is intact . What Wiseman said is so true! I've found fitness IS actually a lot related to your overall mental health. They're interconnected and you can't separate them. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 2 hours ago, lunamoon said: I just now made this connection to my ex husband. I have some things to think about. I don’t think my looks are the only way to get men. I’m actually not that confident in my looks but I am confident in other things about myself that I think are attractive. For example I’m smart, I have a masters degree in chemistry and a great job. I’m funny, people love to record me goofing off. I’m caring and compassionate, I like to volunteer. I would guess you are physically stunning. I have met and dated women that may be similar to you and it always amazed me that away from the dating world they were smart, confident, funny, successful and fun but when they were trying to attract a man they only showed their beauty and fun or to be more specific they only thought the shape of their body and their gorgeous face was all they had to offer. In one case I really liked this woman but since I wanted to get to know the real person in front of me and focused on all she was on the inside she began to feel that her looks were not enough to keep me around. Ultimately some jerk that showered her with shallow compliments about how hot she was drew her attention away from me. I am not saying dump your bf, I am saying you might want to reevaluate how you see yourself at work and then at home. Are you two different people? Many of us are but to what extent? I am happy to see that you are not going to change your current treatment just because your bf is being a jerk. Your health is number one and if he doesn't support that and only will tolerate the perfect you then is he really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Keep posting it helps more than you know to put things down, it makes them real. Lost Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 But your boyfriend only appreciates your wonderful qualities if you're model thin. Otherwise he calls you obese and refuses to have sex with you. Is this the relationship you've always dreamed of? Have you always wished for a man who does these things? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 1 hour ago, maritalbliss86 said: What Wiseman said is so true! I've found fitness IS actually a lot related to your overall mental health. They're interconnected and you can't separate them. Completely agree- so true for me. Link to comment
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