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Girlfriend broke up with me because of her mother's death. Any advice?


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Hey, so my (now) ex and I are both seniors in high school - we're both 18. Her mom was fighting brain cancer for a while, and suddenly her mom's health took a rapid decline and she passed away basically a month ago. Fast forward a week and a half after her mother's death, she invites me to smoke with her and her best friend and the day after that we hang out for around an hour after not seeing each other for a month. Fast forward another week and after Christmas she calls to break up with me. From what I remember she can't give me what I want and she can't have a boyfriend right now. I told her that we could just cut the labels and she doesn't have to put any effort into the relationship, but she said she wanted to break up. I then asked if we could be friends and she said "sure" (something to that effect maybe in the future: she just said she didn't know what's gonna happen in the future and she doesn't want to set any expectations. What I'm asking is this: what advice do you guys have for me? I care about her and she said she still cares about me. I've been doing no-contact since a little more than a week ago, after I sent her a text saying "i've come to terms with the breakup, but i wanna say somethin that I think its important to know. call me when you feel like it". I was gonna say that I care about her and that i just want her to know that I'm always gonna be here for her if she needs it. I didn't get a response and honestly i dont really care but i kinda feel like ass that I'm just ignoring her, I don't want to cut her out of my life and ignore her. I want her to know that I'm gonna be here for her as a friend if she needs it. Should I text her that, or should I keep on doing no contact? BTW she doesn't talk to basically any of her friends anymore, just her best friend and one or 2 others. 

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It was a bad decision to text her anything, especially the whole thing about caring for her and being there for her and wanting to remain friends. It's weak, clingy, and unattractive, and will push her even further away and if there was even the slimest spark remaining inside her that sort of behavior will rapidly extinguish it.

Keep  your dignity and self respect and just walk away and move on.

If she should change her mind she knows where to find you.

 

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8 minutes ago, Da808Dude said:

Should I text her that, or should I keep on doing no contact?

For your own peace of mind, don't. I'm sure she knows that that you care about her. She just doesn't want a relationship with you. The fact that she came out and told you this honestly, and the fact that she refused to set expectations, was out of respect for you. You should honor what she said. It will save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

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You have to switch gears and start thinking more for yourself instead of worrying about her. That role has expired. The relationship is over. Both of you might care about each other but switch and turn the focus back on you. Every break up requires this so don't feel too bad. 

It's time to heal forwards and put this in the past. I'm sorry to hear about her mum. Take care of you from now onwards. 

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She's a young girl who's mother just died a month ago.  She needs time to process this and grieve and doesn't have the time or energy for a relationship right now.  She was upfront with you.  She needs time out so respect that.  

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