Jump to content

Is dating always about games?


lionheart153

Recommended Posts

So I recently started talking to this girl during this crazy covid times. We met on a chatting app that lets you see if anyone is close to you. It's like a hybrid of a chat app trying to be a social media app as well. 

Anyway I saw that she was a few kms away and looked cute so I msg her. After talking a bit she finally added me and then we could talk normally in a chat.

Anyway she seems very genuine and cool and we started to talk and I realize that I like this girl. But we haven't met but I like her true self. We got into deep talks, about relationships, our past and lives and experiences. it was a lot of stuff and we had hours of voice notes that we msged each other with. She mentioned that her last relationship of 4 years ended because she realized she didnt love him and wasn't happy. And that they weren't friends so the relationship just felt empty. She feels that relationships between 2 people should be friends first before anything more happens. Which I agree, as I learned from my last relationship we became friends first the first few months and then started to date. It was just better because this new girl thinks that sometimes you can fall in and out of love but the friendship can help keep it rolling and help give it time for the love to comeback. 

anyway, shes gone and said many things to lead me to think she is also interested in me. From her saying that her friend noticed that everytime she sees me msg her she smiles, or that I'm cute, that I am an amazing person. She said that we connect and she enjoys talking to me. 

But then I get thrown into a twist because now she doesn't respond as much or is just slow and doesn't leave as large as msgs. I guess I though I didn't have to play these games but I guess we all have to. 

Or maybe she is just bored and messing with me?

Maybe I am just not cut out for dating in this age with covid. I guess it makes it tough that we haven't been able to meet each other yet as my area is under lockdown. 

I'm not sure what I expect from this, but I guess I am just looking for other peoples thoughts? 

thank you for your time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, karlong153 said:

 we had hours of voice notes that we msged each other with. 

Did you ever speak live on the phone or video chat?

It's important not to overinvest in people who are not ready willing or able to meet.

They may be catfishing scamming or hiding something or in another relationship. Avoid text/voicemail only situations.

 If you want to try geodating, many dating apps have location functions.

You can also try some quality dating apps, many have video chat as well as criteria for location,etc.

Focus on meeting real people in real life.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes I read the titles of threads and I have an instant answer.  In your case, I did have an instant response.

Yes. Dating is all games until you meet someone worth being in a relationship with. 

Dating is spending time in person getting to see each other, how we act, re-act, and such in different situations. 

On line dating, the time leading up to a date in person is not actually dating... yes. you learn a lot about a person but its limited to what they want you to learn about them. Its not even the tip of the iceberg. 

To say she wants to be friends and then date, would mean if you become friends and decide to date. but unfortunately, it wasn't a guarantee you'd date or brevity friends.  You were taking and getting to know each other in the limited capacity you could during a pandemic. And somewhere along the lines the interest waned. 

I'm sorry. it stings. Its a good lesson though to protect your heart, your feelings and don't get attached too soon. Remember to really know someone and have real feelings, you have to spend time with them in person. 

The feelings you have do feel real to you. so yes they're real but they're based on you,  your interpretations, your desires and traits you assigned to a name, a voice. 

Again, I'm sorry. distance yourself from this girl. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK here's my advice....if you are attracted to someone, you man up and ask them for a date. This frittering around "being chat friends" is for the birds. Women go for confident, go for what they want, bold but charming men...this beta crap gets you friend zoned/ditched faster than you can blink.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

OK here's my advice....if you are attracted to someone, you man up and ask them for a date. This frittering around "being chat friends" is for the birds. Women go for confident, go for what they want, bold but charming men...this beta crap gets you friend zoned/ditched faster than you can blink.

I totally agree, you tell him Smackie

Yes there are some games that have to be played.  If you show to much interest to soon then they think they have you locked in and put you on the side burner while they "talk" to someone else.  If you play it to cool then they think you are not that into them and either pursue you more or cut bait and move on. If things are going really well and you move faster then they are ready for it comes off as being in a hurry and insecure.  The thing is you have to be brave enough to be yourself, show interest that matches theirs, escalate the interactions (talk on the phone and then meet) all the while not dropping your life to wait by the phone for the next message.  The pandemic changes some things but some stay the same like if you share to much to soon and message so much then you run out of things to talk about BEFORE you can meet and start building mutual interests.  Activities together cannot be underestimated in a budding relationship.  

Since you are in lock down I assume how about you suggest you play an online game together or perhaps have a virtual date where you both cook the same foods and eat them together.  Be creative, be brave but don't lose yourself in something that isn't real yet.

Lost

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems, to my eyes, that you are the one incidentally playing a game here, not her. And the rules of that game are roughly: if you talk to her and flirt with her over the phone, then she will magically ask you out so you don't have to be the one to actually broach asking her out on a date. Since she has failed to do this—and is potentially fading away, perhaps less interested since you didn't step up—you feel a bit "gamed." 

Easy way to avoid this? Ask someone out, as others have mentioned. Yes, it's Covid, but it's doable. People will say yes, or no, or will get vague and murky and reveal themselves to be interested only in cursory digital fluff. Either way, you get information and the window for gamesmanship closes. 

I'd also encourage you not to think you know someone's "true self" after some pixilated volleying. I can only speak for myself, but if a woman felt she knew the "true" me after some chitchat I'd be borderline offended, as I think that I, and all humans, are far too gloriously complex to be understood in a few minutes. Treat people like people, not ideas and fantasies, and it all gets a lot easier, richer, and, with the right connection, deeper. 

But to go there you have to be willing to take a risk. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did you ask her out on a date? 

I didn't realize I was such a dating snob until I stopped responding fairly quickly to the messages. People have too much space inbetween to misread also and misinterpret what's being said on a screen. I spend most of my work day wading through emails. The last thing I want to do is wade through more messages on dating apps although I think it's important to figure out some basics before bothering to video chat or meet in person. Try and organize a video chat in a timely manner if you're interested in someone at the very least. 

I'm more of an in-person person but such are the times. 

People are usually stunned when I call rather than text, especially men, and I make the first call. I don't know why people just don't call anymore. So unnecessary especially when you can get so much more out of a phone call than messaging. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When people engage on a chatting app, they shouldn't be surprise that it doesn't go any further than just chatting.

All the talk of establishing a friendship may have been a clue.  It may not have been the message that if you are her friend first you might be guaranteed a relationship.  She might have sensed that you were catching feelings and dialed back on the friendship she was referring to.

So, no dating isn't a game.   You weren't dating to begin with  Enjoy chatting, but keep it in perspective.  If you want to date, ask someone on a date.   

I get there is a pandemic going on, but you could have asked her to meet you at a local park for a walk and cup of coffee.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, there's a lockdown. But people do go to work. People go grocery shopping. People go outside for walks and jogging. Being outdoors is safer, so why not say you'll meet in a park? You can each sit on your own beach blanket or beach chair. Walk around the park if there's a wide path where you can keep a 6 foot distance. Because it's nothing but fantasy until you regularly meet in 3D. With two people willing to make the effort, serious about their shared dating goals, it's never game playing. If you're not willing to meet up within 2 weeks of chatting because of COVID, delay your search for a partner until everyone has received their 2nd vaccine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

 

People are usually stunned when I call rather than text, especially men, and I make the first call. I don't know why people just don't call anymore. So unnecessary especially when you can get so much more out of a phone call than messaging.  

 

Me too.  I love it when a woman calls instead of texting.  To me it shows a sign of strength.

Lost

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, karlong153 said:

It was just better because this new girl thinks that sometimes you can fall in and out of love but the friendship can help keep it rolling and help give it time for the love to comeback. 

IMO, Nah... I dated a 'friend' just wasn't there.

I dated someone who was not a previous friend, that did last a while.. BUT, in the end, the chance of a 'friendship' was gone, because we had gone way past friends.  So, because there was some negative involved, we just stopped interacting all together- so can really put a damper on everything. :(.

But try not to look at it all this way.. IF you click you click.

 

So, you two had some good time chatting it up- but does not mean it was going to proceed.  Happens to many - so don't go getting your heart involved so fast!

If things advance okay & goes well, it will..  Just brush this thing off.. move along.

 

And no, dating/love is not a 'game'  should never be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you ever speak live on the phone or video chat?

It's important not to overinvest in people who are not ready willing or able to meet.

They may be catfishing scamming or hiding something or in another relationship. Avoid text/voicemail only situations.

 If you want to try geodating, many dating apps have location functions.

You can also try some quality dating apps, many have video chat as well as criteria for location,etc.

Focus on meeting real people in real life.

 

We only did Voice notes. So it was kinda like a phone call? She even told her dad about me and he said hello (he speaks a foreign language which I speak) I feel awkward asking her to talk on the phone. but maybe that is what I will do soon. 

8 hours ago, Lambert said:

Sometimes I read the titles of threads and I have an instant answer.  In your case, I did have an instant response.

Yes. Dating is all games until you meet someone worth being in a relationship with. 

Dating is spending time in person getting to see each other, how we act, re-act, and such in different situations. 

On line dating, the time leading up to a date in person is not actually dating... yes. you learn a lot about a person but its limited to what they want you to learn about them. Its not even the tip of the iceberg. 

To say she wants to be friends and then date, would mean if you become friends and decide to date. but unfortunately, it wasn't a guarantee you'd date or brevity friends.  You were taking and getting to know each other in the limited capacity you could during a pandemic. And somewhere along the lines the interest waned. 

I'm sorry. it stings. Its a good lesson though to protect your heart, your feelings and don't get attached too soon. Remember to really know someone and have real feelings, you have to spend time with them in person. 

The feelings you have do feel real to you. so yes they're real but they're based on you,  your interpretations, your desires and traits you assigned to a name, a voice. 

Again, I'm sorry. distance yourself from this girl. 

 

I should rephrase maybe. I think what I mean by friends is just getting to know someone on a more personal level before dating, she mentioned she has had a very limited dating history, 2 at the age of 28. and recently I found out the longer one she was cheated on so makes sense why she is very defensive. from our discussion it felt more like she just wanted to make sure that she clicks with someone and the romance and intimacy's will come after was what she told me. And she mentioned that to me about me as well.

7 hours ago, smackie9 said:

OK here's my advice....if you are attracted to someone, you man up and ask them for a date. This frittering around "being chat friends" is for the birds. Women go for confident, go for what they want, bold but charming men...this beta crap gets you friend zoned/ditched faster than you can blink.

Already did my friend! thank you for the advice. She did say yes that she would love to go for BBT and hang out and meet but we are both waiting for covid restrictions to loosen up as they are pretty strict here right now. 

6 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

I totally agree, you tell him Smackie

Yes there are some games that have to be played.  If you show to much interest to soon then they think they have you locked in and put you on the side burner while they "talk" to someone else.  If you play it to cool then they think you are not that into them and either pursue you more or cut bait and move on. If things are going really well and you move faster then they are ready for it comes off as being in a hurry and insecure.  The thing is you have to be brave enough to be yourself, show interest that matches theirs, escalate the interactions (talk on the phone and then meet) all the while not dropping your life to wait by the phone for the next message.  The pandemic changes some things but some stay the same like if you share to much to soon and message so much then you run out of things to talk about BEFORE you can meet and start building mutual interests.  Activities together cannot be underestimated in a budding relationship.  

Since you are in lock down I assume how about you suggest you play an online game together or perhaps have a virtual date where you both cook the same foods and eat them together.  Be creative, be brave but don't lose yourself in something that isn't real yet.

Lost

I haven't thought about a virtual date, maybe I should attempt to do a call first though?

5 hours ago, bluecastle said:

It seems, to my eyes, that you are the one incidentally playing a game here, not her. And the rules of that game are roughly: if you talk to her and flirt with her over the phone, then she will magically ask you out so you don't have to be the one to actually broach asking her out on a date. Since she has failed to do this—and is potentially fading away, perhaps less interested since you didn't step up—you feel a bit "gamed." 

Easy way to avoid this? Ask someone out, as others have mentioned. Yes, it's Covid, but it's doable. People will say yes, or no, or will get vague and murky and reveal themselves to be interested only in cursory digital fluff. Either way, you get information and the window for gamesmanship closes. 

I'd also encourage you not to think you know someone's "true self" after some pixilated volleying. I can only speak for myself, but if a woman felt she knew the "true" me after some chitchat I'd be borderline offended, as I think that I, and all humans, are far too gloriously complex to be understood in a few minutes. Treat people like people, not ideas and fantasies, and it all gets a lot easier, richer, and, with the right connection, deeper. 

But to go there you have to be willing to take a risk. 

No I asked her out already. Again with my area's strict covid restrictions we are waiting for that to loosen I guess. What did happen was we exchanged instagrams. I used to have a lot of followers (almost 1-2k) as my IG was my weight loss and fitness blog and I had a lot of people follow me as I was showcased on a few fat loss ig pages ( i lost over 120lbs). Anyway my followers have now fell to about 500 as I no longer use it as a blog anymore and I do have a lot of friends that follow me though I am not close with many. Anyway she seems to have self confidence issue, which I would guess came fromt he fact that her ex cheated on her and he was a club promoter. Lots of girls on his IG that he was talking to. She had admitted that she saw that and it scared her off and she distanced her self. But after I told her pretty much what I have typed her she understood and apologized for misjudging me. We are still talking, and maybe its just me overthinking but maybe you just cant have deep long convos every second?

5 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

Did you ask her out on a date? 

I didn't realize I was such a dating snob until I stopped responding fairly quickly to the messages. People have too much space inbetween to misread also and misinterpret what's being said on a screen. I spend most of my work day wading through emails. The last thing I want to do is wade through more messages on dating apps although I think it's important to figure out some basics before bothering to video chat or meet in person. Try and organize a video chat in a timely manner if you're interested in someone at the very least. 

I'm more of an in-person person but such are the times. 

People are usually stunned when I call rather than text, especially men, and I make the first call. I don't know why people just don't call anymore. So unnecessary especially when you can get so much more out of a phone call than messaging. 

 

 

I did! And she has already said yes when things are better with our restrictions here. She also mentioned things she would rather talk to me about in person rather than text as she feels its close to her. she def hasnt rejected the idea of meeting me. 

I would agree about the phone call. I'm not sure what it means that we havent but with everyones comments I plan to ask her to have a phone call some time. Maybe she just doesn't want to emphasis to much on dating? as more on getting to know some one? something more chill? I dunno

5 hours ago, reinventmyself said:

When people engage on a chatting app, they shouldn't be surprise that it doesn't go any further than just chatting.

All the talk of establishing a friendship may have been a clue.  It may not have been the message that if you are her friend first you might be guaranteed a relationship.  She might have sensed that you were catching feelings and dialed back on the friendship she was referring to.

So, no dating isn't a game.   You weren't dating to begin with  Enjoy chatting, but keep it in perspective.  If you want to date, ask someone on a date.   

I get there is a pandemic going on, but you could have asked her to meet you at a local park for a walk and cup of coffee.

Well I did ask her out on a date, she said yes lol. But just waiting for lockdown to loosen up. My area is under full lockdown, no resturants to dine in. And if people are caught with others they don't live with (they can check our ID's) would result in a big fine. I'm in Canada, and while I am not in Quebec who had that recent Viral video of police dragging people out of a house, we are not far from it. So I respect her safety concerns. 

5 hours ago, Andrina said:

Yeah, there's a lockdown. But people do go to work. People go grocery shopping. People go outside for walks and jogging. Being outdoors is safer, so why not say you'll meet in a park? You can each sit on your own beach blanket or beach chair. Walk around the park if there's a wide path where you can keep a 6 foot distance. Because it's nothing but fantasy until you regularly meet in 3D. With two people willing to make the effort, serious about their shared dating goals, it's never game playing. If you're not willing to meet up within 2 weeks of chatting because of COVID, delay your search for a partner until everyone has received their 2nd vaccine.

She actually has been laid off for now going 6 months. I suppose I could ask to go to grocery store? lol never though of that. But we are also in opposite ends of the city it seems. 

I don't think I was inherently looking for a partner but I am open to it. I am surprised I connect with her as much as I do. I usually have a very hard time connecting and talking to people but I seem comfortable with her, It is something she also mentioned as well to me. She seems very sheltered and has admitted that she only has 2 best friends and pretty much doesn't talk to anyone else. And that a lot of the things we talk about she also just feels comfortable talk to me about

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No.  Do not  go to a grocery store for a date.  That defeats the purpose of the lockdown, people only shop for food as a necessity, not a date. That is not where Andrina was going with her post.   She meant get outside,  you do not have to stay indoors.  There are plenty of things to do outside.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There must be some walking or hiking trails nearby.  A safe walk with masks and keeping distant should be perfectly fine.  If you two want to see how the other one looks without a mask you can step 10 feet apart and give a quick look see.  Flash a winning smile!  But do NOT kiss!  Too risky.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Hollyj said:

No.  Do not  go to a grocery store for a date.  That defeats the purpose of the lockdown, people only shop for food as a necessity, not a date. That is not where Andrina was going with her post.   She meant get outside,  you do not have to stay indoors.  There are plenty of things to do outside.  

 

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

There must be some walking or hiking trails nearby.  A safe walk with masks and keeping distant should be perfectly fine.  If you two want to see how the other one looks without a mask you can step 10 feet apart and give a quick look see.  Flash a winning smile!  But do NOT kiss!  Too risky.

right now my area's rules are, if you caught with someone that does not live with you as in you do not have same address they can fine you. most parks and outdoor places are closed. and also inviting a girl that has never met me to a park alone seems creepy as hell. So I would understand her not feeling comfortable as I don't feel comfortable to ask. For now the restrictions are pretty serious. With the exception of her coming to visit me at work or something... which I would find weird

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  12 hours ago, Lambert said:

Sometimes I read the titles of threads and I have an instant answer.  In your case, I did have an instant response.

Yes. Dating is all games until you meet someone worth being in a relationship with. 

Dating is spending time in person getting to see each other, how we act, re-act, and such in different situations. 

On line dating, the time leading up to a date in person is not actually dating... yes. you learn a lot about a person but its limited to what they want you to learn about them. Its not even the tip of the iceberg. 

To say she wants to be friends and then date, would mean if you become friends and decide to date. but unfortunately, it wasn't a guarantee you'd date or brevity friends.  You were taking and getting to know each other in the limited capacity you could during a pandemic. And somewhere along the lines the interest waned. 

I'm sorry. it stings. Its a good lesson though to protect your heart, your feelings and don't get attached too soon. Remember to really know someone and have real feelings, you have to spend time with them in person. 

The feelings you have do feel real to you. so yes they're real but they're based on you,  your interpretations, your desires and traits you assigned to a name, a voice. 

Again, I'm sorry. distance yourself from this girl. 

 

I should rephrase maybe. I think what I mean by friends is just getting to know someone on a more personal level before dating, she mentioned she has had a very limited dating history, 2 at the age of 28. and recently I found out the longer one she was cheated on so makes sense why she is very defensive. from our discussion it felt more like she just wanted to make sure that she clicks with someone and the romance and intimacy's will come after was what she told me. And she mentioned that to me about me as well.

 

 

Right. I understand. Unfortunately there wasn't the click. Or as other's have suggested she got bored waiting for you to ask her out. 

Also keep in the back of your mind, any barriers to dating, any hoops a person says they need jumped through are said to put a wall up or to slow down what is happening because the person is not feeling it enough to charge forward.

I know that hurts. We've all felt it. But believe me people go after what they want. They make it happen. Regardless of the obstacles. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, lionheart153 said:

 

right now my area's rules are, if you caught with someone that does not live with you as in you do not have same address they can fine you. most parks and outdoor places are closed. and also inviting a girl that has never met me to a park alone seems creepy as hell. So I would understand her not feeling comfortable as I don't feel comfortable to ask. For now the restrictions are pretty serious. With the exception of her coming to visit me at work or something... which I would find weird

Your restrictions are pretty hardcore.   I don;t know where you live, but I can't imagine meeting in a  park as creepy.  It is open with people.   I don't understand how meeting someone at work is okay, but being outside is not.  

It' s funny that 3 women on this site suggested meeting at a park or walking trail, but you think it is "creepy."   I guess you must know what we want, more than we do.  

I would think it was strange if someone asked me to meet them at their job. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Start with some sort of real-time interaction. That means a call or video chat.

At this point, all the texting and prerecorded VM, is a red flag.

If someone won't do live video chat or phone calls, they are hiding something.

She agreed to meet? Well that's not real, since it's not possible where you live.

For now if you refuse to video chat or phone call, assume you don't know who you are chitchatting with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Lambert said:
  12 hours ago, Lambert said:

Sometimes I read the titles of threads and I have an instant answer.  In your case, I did have an instant response.

Yes. Dating is all games until you meet someone worth being in a relationship with. 

Dating is spending time in person getting to see each other, how we act, re-act, and such in different situations. 

On line dating, the time leading up to a date in person is not actually dating... yes. you learn a lot about a person but its limited to what they want you to learn about them. Its not even the tip of the iceberg. 

To say she wants to be friends and then date, would mean if you become friends and decide to date. but unfortunately, it wasn't a guarantee you'd date or brevity friends.  You were taking and getting to know each other in the limited capacity you could during a pandemic. And somewhere along the lines the interest waned. 

I'm sorry. it stings. Its a good lesson though to protect your heart, your feelings and don't get attached too soon. Remember to really know someone and have real feelings, you have to spend time with them in person. 

The feelings you have do feel real to you. so yes they're real but they're based on you,  your interpretations, your desires and traits you assigned to a name, a voice. 

Again, I'm sorry. distance yourself from this girl. 

 

I should rephrase maybe. I think what I mean by friends is just getting to know someone on a more personal level before dating, she mentioned she has had a very limited dating history, 2 at the age of 28. and recently I found out the longer one she was cheated on so makes sense why she is very defensive. from our discussion it felt more like she just wanted to make sure that she clicks with someone and the romance and intimacy's will come after was what she told me. And she mentioned that to me about me as well.

 

 

Right. I understand. Unfortunately there wasn't the click. Or as other's have suggested she got bored waiting for you to ask her out. 

Also keep in the back of your mind, any barriers to dating, any hoops a person says they need jumped through are said to put a wall up or to slow down what is happening because the person is not feeling it enough to charge forward.

I know that hurts. We've all felt it. But believe me people go after what they want. They make it happen. Regardless of the obstacles. 

Well in that case I'll probably back off to protect myself. She msg me today saying she hopes I have a great day with a heart emoji but I just ignored it lol

59 minutes ago, Hollyj said:

Your restrictions are pretty hardcore.   I don;t know where you live, but I can't imagine meeting in a  park as creepy.  It is open with people.   I don't understand how meeting someone at work is okay, but being outside is not.  

It' s funny that 3 women on this site suggested meeting at a park or walking trail, but you think it is "creepy."   I guess you must know what we want, more than we do.  

I would think it was strange if someone asked me to meet them at their job. 

It's minus 40 here so it's no the most comfortable thing. And ya all public places are closed and lately a lot of fines have been handed out with people that don't have same addresses on Id. She seems to be quite careful with covid as her parents she has to take care of often are in there 80s so I can understand her precautions

44 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Start with some sort of real-time interaction. That means a call or video chat.

At this point, all the texting and prerecorded VM, is a red flag.

If someone won't do live video chat or phone calls, they are hiding something.

She agreed to meet? Well that's not real, since it's not possible where you live.

For now if you refuse to video chat or phone call, assume you don't know who you are chitchatting with.

Pretty much what I was thinking. I haven't asked her about video chatting but I guess maybe I should back off anyway as I feel to invested since our flurries of talks were fun and felt connected. It was probably just me overthinking and thinking it was more than it was. Thanks for the advice

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, lionheart153 said:

Well in that case I'll probably back off to protect myself. She msg me today saying she hopes I have a great day with a heart emoji but I just ignored it lol

It's minus 40 here so it's no the most comfortable thing. And ya all public places are closed and lately a lot of fines have been handed out with people that don't have same addresses on Id. She seems to be quite careful with covid as her parents she has to take care of often are in there 80s so I can understand her precautions

Pretty much what I was thinking. I haven't asked her about video chatting but I guess maybe I should back off anyway as I feel to invested since our flurries of talks were fun and felt connected. It was probably just me overthinking and thinking it was more than it was. Thanks for the advice

What country do you live in?   So cold!   

When the weather is more pleasant, I would suggest outdoor meetups, if possible.  

I do think you should be doing virtual chats if you can't meet in person.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, lionheart153 said:

No I haven't really asked either. I like face to face 

How old is she? Her parents are in their 80s? So she is in her 50s or 60s?

Unfortunately it seems like you are stalling, not her.

At some level you know face-to-face is out of the question for a while, and you seem to be the one resisting anything revealing more identity such as live video chat or live phone calls.

Perhaps you want to keep this as cyberpals and don't want to ruin that with any reality?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...