He is elusive

[Paula Andrea]

I have been dating this guy for 4 months now.

On Thursday I asked him out for a beer on Saturday. He said ok, let's do it at 6pm. I said that hour is ok, leta go to this place. He didnt answer anything but kept talking of other things.

On Saturday morning,at 9am I texted him and the conversation went like this:

Me -Do you have a place you would want to go?

He *lets grab some healthy meal and a beer.

-ok, where?

[He changed the conversation to something else]

-ok, today at 6pm, let me know where you want to go. 

....... the day passed by, I assumed we weren't going out.

At 5pm he texted me:

*are we going out?

-i asked you where you wanted to go and said nothing.

* I fell asleep 

-if you want to can come where I am

*sends a sticker

-what?

* what are you doing?

-over my sister's taking care of her pets, she's not at home.

*let me see them

-I already showed them to you.

*you know I have alzheimers CD

-yeah

*sticker

-Next time, if you dont want to go out, just say no from the beginning.

I dont know if this was the case but I felt like it.

*With this weather this is not a day to go out. I didnt even go with my friends earlier today as I planned to.

-you have been elusive since Thursday, I asked you and no answer. And today at 5pm you text me. I hope you understand how I am feeling.

*how are you feeling?

-I don't feel comfortable talking about it because I feel like you are going to not take it very well.

Still, the way I am feeling is because of my expectations.

* I am sorry.

-I m not feeling good today. Good night.

*good night.

So, haven't heard from him since then.

And my doubt here is, should I text him and try to go for an end year beer?? 

Should I just stop thinking about this and if he texts fine and if he doesnt also fine?

[Jibralta]

39 minutes ago, Paula Andrea said:

And my doubt here is, should I text him and try to go for an end year beer?? 

Hell no.

39 minutes ago, Paula Andrea said:

Should I just stop thinking about this and if he texts fine and if he doesnt also fine?

Just stop thinking about it, full stop. Block this dude and delete his number. Don't go out with him. Move on. This guy is a joke.

[reinventmyself]

no and no.

If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he will make it well known.  You won't be on a forum asking.

This guy is just jerking you around for entertainment and you are wondering if you should ask him out again??

There is nothing elusive about him.  He's being jerk.

[bluecastle]

Sorry about this. 

I agree with the above posters. Don't really think "elusive" is the right word, honestly, as it implies intrigue, mystery, where this guy is just...well, meh. Why reward meh by pressing for another drink, when there are so many non-meh people out there? If this is what you guys have after four months, I'd say it's a great time to let it slip away so you make room in a new year for new connections. 

 

[Batya33]

Yes - the elusive part is only if you hide from your own common sense and keep chasing him.  He probably would meet you for a beer at some point -if he's in the mood, if it's convenient for him, if he has nothing better to do.  Don't be somebody's afterthought.  

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. He's evading you because he's not that interested.

Are you exclusive or are you both still talking to and meeting others?

Step back from this. Don't chase him. He's standing you up and making lame excuses.

Don't text him anymore.

[SherrySher]

Unfortunately this guy isn't interested in you. If you have to ask a man more than once to do something with you, he's not interested.

I would also wonder if he already has a gf or is seeing or talking to other women besides you.

Either way, best to not contact him again. You deserve better than this.

[catfeeder]

How impressed are you, really, with this coward?

I'd drop him like dirt.

BTW--I think the word you're looking for is 'evasive'.

[MissCanuck]

There is no way I'd be asking him to have another beer with me. Why would you reward his crappy behaviour? 

This guy is just not that into you, OP. 

[Hollyj]

Girl.  

You need to move on.  This guy does not give a s*it!  What are you not seeing.

[smackie9]

wow his actions speak pretty loud and clear. He's not interested.

[Rose Mosse]

Dating for four months? Agree.. let it go. See other people or don't limit yourself to this guy. I wouldn't consider this dating if the dynamic has been like this for awhile. 

[James516]

Yo-yo meets string for this one. Sorry. This is terrible for 4 months of dating, and cannot be good for your long term self esteem if you keep putting up with being dangled. He really is not into you. I have done this sort of thing to past women to discourage them, so I recognize the obvious signs. Most people wouldn't do this with even an acquaintance. You did good to communicate your feelings. Now it is time to think quickly about moving on.