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Did I screw up no contact?


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Hi, my girlfriend dumped me a month ago (1 year long relationship) because she wanted to be alone (I can confirm she isnt in a relationship and is just partying). We are in our mid 20s and I was her first real love who didn't cheat or take advantage of her and we had amazing chemistry.

I accepted the breakup but I was cold and cut her off instantly, I could see she was in rough shape on social media pretty much the whole time in NC thinking I've moved on and I could tell she was stalking my profile, so after 3 weeks I caved and hit her up apologized for the things I felt I should've apologized for before cutting her off and told her I didnt cut her off cause I dont care ect and that I miss her and wouldnt mind catching up sometime over drinks.

She completely ignored it and now it has been a week since I sent it, and her social media is pretty silent now. Did I do the right thing? I feel like if I cut her off cold she would use that as ammo on why it was the right choice. Will she come around out of this "party my lockdown depression away" phase within a few months?

Edited by JohnLikesKites
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15 minutes ago, JohnLikesKites said:

my girlfriend dumped me a month ago .

so after 3 weeks I caved and hit her up apologized for the things..

She completely ignored it .

What is the real for the breakup, that you felt you needed to "apologize for"?

No contact is not a get-your-back tool . It's a method to help you heal and move forward in peace.

The first thing to do is stop stalking her social media.  Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

She's out having fun... You should be doing the same.

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13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

What is the real for the breakup, that you felt you needed to "apologize for"?

To put it short, misunderstandings, our communication and addressing conflicts was very bad because she is very indirect at showing problems. By the time she addressed them directly she shortly after started a break to "forget". The things she felt were wrong were extremely minor, she couldn't even pinpoint them when addressing them. It was clear she was going through tough times and just wanted to party, outside of conflict resolution we could talk to one another for 8 hours straight and not get bored.

13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

She's out having fun... You should be doing the same.

It's really hard to have fun because I know what I lost, our chemistry is something super rare I've never experienced before, I got some looks and I'm outgoing so I've talked to many girls in my years but this one was on a different level of banter and genuinely enjoying our time together. Talking to other girls right now feels watered down and only furthers my pain, and parties are fun... temporarily, but I valued the intimacy far more.

Edited by JohnLikesKites
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Your relationship ran it's course. Yes there will be residual attachment, but the "in love" part is gone. Of course other girls will seem meh, you are still grieving the loss of your relationship. Physiologically in time this will change. People always get melancholy after a breakup and say "I will never have that kind of chemistry, or love every again." But that's a lie. The next one that comes along will blow that out of the water and you will happily carry on.

You made no mistake...she did right?

Edited by smackie9
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