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Relationship commitments


Gina

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My current boyfriend and I have struggled for 2 years with our relationship. We’ve had a unique beginning and yes a lot of struggles. He’s kind of controlling yet very insecure at times. He’s confident and yet he is not. He’s not mature in many ways yet he’s accomplished so much in his career. 
He and I are barely hanging in for the most part and we argue constantly. Looking back he blames me and gets mad at me for what he does over and over but if I do it one time I’m the bad guy and boy do I feel the the repercussions. He’s better at debating and he always leads me to believe it’s all me...

we live together and I have no one hear up in the mountains... I feel like I can express myself about conversations we have. 
He says it me that has always been the problem and that I forced myself into his life and home... though I have always been respectful and I asked him... 

I don’t what to do or how to get on the same page. He sees me as his enemy and not a friend.. 

I have no job and so I am dependent on him in that way but still pay my own personal bills... 

Im at a crossroad and feel as if I don’t know what to do at this age. We are both 50 and I try to understand his position at this age but he’s not approachable and doesn’t listen well. It’s starts with seeing my side but I always feel like it ends with me being in the wrong and need to better and more. 
 

Confused and lost. I’m not even confident he is faithful anymore. 
 

 

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5 hours ago, Gina said:

 He sees me as his enemy and not a friend.. 

.We are both 50 

he’s not approachable and doesn’t listen well. .

it ends with me being in the wrong and need to better and more. 

 I’m not even confident he is faithful anymore. 

Sorry this is happening. Read up on controlling and abusive relationships.

Your focus needs to be contacting and confiding in trusted friends and family to help you get out of this situation.

Stop trying to talk to him. He is in fact "the enemy", that's how abusive relationships work.

He beats you down for fun and his ego. On some level you know this.

Privately, begin the process of extricating yourself from this. Save money, enlist the help of trusted people, contact social services for help with food, mental and physical healthcare, housing assistance and employment assistance.

Do not talk to him about your plans. Act bland and don't argue/debate. Put ALL your energy into getting free from this, rather than expecting an abuser to change or understand you .

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That's why a person always needs to be financially independent, so that if things go south in a relationship, moving on is far easier. Start applying for jobs where someone in your family is willing to temporarily house you until you start getting paid and can move out. You never established a support system where you live, and he was the sole center of your universe which is smothering. He's no prize and it isn't worth trying to work things out with. But it's also best to learn from what mistakes you made in the relationship so you don't repeat them going into a new relationship. 

In many towns, there are resource centers willing to help with resumes and job info, and Dress For Success has donated clothing for women who need an outfit for interviews.

Help is always there if you do enough research.

There are also elderly or disabled people who look for live-in companions. There's always a way out when you put in the work to find those opportunities. Good luck.

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Hun, he has narcissistic personality. It's his way or no way. That is why it's always been a "struggle". There is no one on this planet that can make him change, or be a nice person, or make him happy. He will always be the condescending, "I'm always right, it's all your fault." impossible to deal with guy. Just secretly pack yer stuff up when he is out, and leave. Block delete his number.

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