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I feel so depressed staying with my family


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Hi. I'm 23 (from India) and unemployed because of covid. Though I actually do have a job (I work on the cruise in the USA) but since international flights aren't resumed, I'm stuck at home. My life has been so boring and now it's only gotten worse. 3 days ago I had an argument with my mom where I simply just stood up for myself but she got so mad at me that she called me a bitch and even hit me, leaving a bruise on my hand. I didn't want to talk to her at all because of how poorly she treated me. I do so much for her despite being the youngest in my family, I'm usually taking care of my siblings (when she was out of states) and always helping around with household chores and giving money to my parents when I was working. She was so mad at me that she didn't speak to me at all and didn't serve me food which it made me feel so upset.. I tried talking to her yesterday because today's Christmas and I didn't want our relationship to be this way but she only ignored me completely even though I apologized to her . Next is my elder brother who wouldn't let me find a job because he wanted to me to work in a 5 star hotel (since I work on the cruise as a hostess in the food and beverage department) and not anywhere else because he cares about me getting experience rather than me having an earing of my own as I need money to go the dermatologist every two months and I can't ask my parents for it because they have to run the house and we aren't really that rich. But yesterday I did attend a job interview and they told me I could start on Jan and it's offering me 10k (which is 135.95 in USD) and my brother, since he didn't want me to work in a 3 star hotel, asked me to pay home half the money of what I was earning and I could only keep like 3k (which is 40 in USD) because I'm apparently using the electricity of my own home and if I'm working I have to pay. I don't know if I should just stay in a pg (paying guest house) where they don't charge me that much of an amount my brother is asking me to pay at home just because I'm staying home. This is really messed up I know.. But please hear me out. I have no one to talk to. I just cry myself to sleep for the past 3 days. I can't even talk to my dad because he'll only side my brother because my brother is giving money for the house since he's working. Please tell me what to do.

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I'd have a private negotiation with Dad as to what he'll want me to pay, and I'd leave brother and his figure out of that discussion. I'd propose to Dad the amount of the rental. If he agrees, great. If not, I'd pay Dad's amount and save the rest toward getting myself into a rental as quickly as possible.

As for Mom, what is it that she is so angry about?

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You do whatever you think you need to do to get out of your situation. Tip: don't discuss it with them or tell them. Once you get yourself a job, move out and  as you are walking out the door, tell them you are moving out to be on your own, make a dash for it.

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16 hours ago, catfeeder said:

I'd have a private negotiation with Dad as to what he'll want me to pay, and I'd leave brother and his figure out of that discussion. I'd propose to Dad the amount of the rental. If he agrees, great. If not, I'd pay Dad's amount and save the rest toward getting myself into a rental as quickly as possible.

As for Mom, what is it that she is so angry about?

It happened in the morning, we had this really silly argument and I went off to my room to cool down but as soon as I came back to eat , I realized that she had thrown away my breakfast (I know she did that in anger) and her reason was because she did it because I wasn't eating. I just cried and I told her that she was crazy to do such a horrible thing because I know she did it on purpose and that made her even more mad that she hit me causing a wound on my hand. Whenever we fight, I would always swallow my pride and go talk to her, but this time I didn't want to because I feel like she only takes advantage of that but still I apologized to her and tried to talk to her on Christmas but she only ignored me. I'm done trying. 

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16 hours ago, catfeeder said:

I'd have a private negotiation with Dad as to what he'll want me to pay, and I'd leave brother and his figure out of that discussion. I'd propose to Dad the amount of the rental. If he agrees, great. If not, I'd pay Dad's amount and save the rest toward getting myself into a rental as quickly as possible.

As for Mom, what is it that she is so angry about?

 

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2 hours ago, Newgirlforever said:

 I realized that she had thrown away my breakfast

. I just cried and I told her that she was crazy to do such a horrible thing because I know she did it on purpose  

Try to calm things down without storming off.

Keep in mind, you're old enough to buy and prepare your own food. No one has to serve you food.

As long as you choose to live at home in someone's house, you'll have to try to get along 

Hitting you is wrong. However escalating things by calling people crazy doesn't help.

If you are "done trying", you will have to get a job and your own place.

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