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When I was 16 I was what I believe now is being groomed by an older man.  I seriously do not recall ever having sex with him. My son born that year turned out to be his. So naturally I’m freaked out.  Like this couldn’t be true. I’d only slept with my boyfriend. Well dcfs in Illinois. Takes my kids. I had one at 15 and one @ 16 and they took them from me and placed them with the guy that was forever older than me. So he proceeds to wait until my boyfriend and I break up to demand a dna test from the state. They grant it. The kid turns out to be his.they give him custody. Mind you I’m 16 at the time. And now he who’s 28 has both of my kids. Fast forward a year. The only way he let me see my kids is if it was all about him. Me loving him. Me wanting to spend time with him. I would call the kids on Facebook because we lived in different towns and when we would hang up he would say “ we love you” and I’d say I love them too  and he’d keep them from me again. Now I’m 21. And just got out of jail and this same guy is the one I’m with now because I want to see my kid and the only way I can is if I pretend to love him. I’m miserable. Is there anyone who can give some insight on this. And how did dcfs take a baby from a 16 year old give the kid to the 28 year old father and not press charges on him for at least statutory rape.please help me guy 

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Sorry to hear that. How long was your jail term? Are you on parole?

Are you currently living with the biological father or in a halfway house or with parents?

Did you grow up in foster care? Where were your parents?

If you can not care for or support your children as a teenage mother someone has to step in.

As far as statutory, you'll have to talk to your parole officer and attorney about that. If you pursue that will he be sent away, leaving your kids lost in the foster care system?

Is your goal to have full custody of your children? If so you'll need to be able to prove you can provide them with appropriate housing, food, clothing, shelter and medical care.

You need to contact social services to see what kind of assistance you can get with housing, job training, mental and physical health care, food stamps, and perhaps legal aid to begin to develop a plan to gain custody of your children.

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Are you getting any kind of counselling at all? Seeing a therapist? I think you it's vital that you seek out some kind of counselling if you don't already receive help.

It sounds like you've been threw the mill and are still dealing with so many issues that need to be addressed.

I agree with the posters above, you need to seek the help of a lawyer. At least speak to one, try to find out what can be done and the costs before you decide what to do. Many areas offer legal aid for lower income families.

But please seek help for the issues you're dealing with from professionals who are in your area. It sounds like you've got a lot to contend with.

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