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Is it worth it to make a move?


nman414

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Im a 19 yr old guy, Ive been out of a relationship with my gf of about 1 year for a little over a year now. In that time, I've messed around on dating apps but never actually met up with anyone, especially being home from school with my family and having to be on lockdown due to the virus. Before I started my 1 year relationship, I was weighing options between two girls, one my age, the other a year younger. I ultimately decided to date the one a year younger than me and it went pretty well. throughout that relationship though, she teased me about this other girl calling her my secret girlfriend, I always denied it but now this girl has come back up. I never got a solid confirmation that this girl my age actually had feelings for me, it was all based off of high school rumors so I never really pursued it, however a few days ago I was swiping around on a dating app and it showed that she had liked me. I transferred home to community college because of the virus and am stuck here for the next semester or next year and a half depending on if I get into schools or not, coincidentally, I am applying to her school and one other a few hours away. She plays a sport for the school so I think that means unfortunately she will be going back on campus a few hours away despite the school being closed down. That means we would have until the first week of December to hang out and do anything in person, that is if my parents even let me with the increased stay at home orders. is it worth it to make a move and try to get to know her before she goes back to school? and if I should, how should I go about taking to her? do I match with her on the app? or should I go directly to texting her? ( I already have her number from school.) 

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I wouldn't start anything that most likely would end up as a LDR. It's hard enough for well established couples to enter into a LDR if they have to for work or education. No need to begin one of the most difficult types of relationships there are.

At your age, you will be meeting a huge pool of potential dates at college, and she will as well. Most young relationships at this age don't stand the test of time as people do so much changing and growing from the late teens to the late twenties. What you want and who you are now could do a whole 360 during the next decade. Do you really want to tie yourself down to a long distance thing that is, in essence, has a low risk of success?

If you end up at the same college, then sure, I'd go for it then. College courses take an enormous amount of time and you'll have a limited amount of time to date as it is, so trying to do that long distance is impractical. Good luck in your education and have a fun time dating.

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I wouldn't make any assumptions about another's future plans at the moment. Deciding that one thing MUST mean something else, and then talking oneself out of a pursuit based on that assumption, is a common cause of lost opportunities--despite no real down side to confirming or learning otherwise.

If you pursue contact and learn that she's interested, explore that and see where it leads. If it turns out that the timing is lousy, then what's to stop either of you from leaving the door open to explore some potential down the road?

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