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Am I falling out of love or just patience?


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My boyfriend has a bad habit of sometimes telling me what to do. Example is I’ll start to drink a diet ice tea and see do you know how many chemicals are in the drink and I said yes but I don’t drink too much and health so I don’t drink it because it’s really there for you just look at the ingredients. This is kind of behavior that drives me nuts another recent example was that I was getting in bed the other night and he asked me did you brush your teeth and wash your face. He’s done this before I responded that I have it’s under control and he doesn’t have to be concerned about it however he still does it need time to time. I do care for him and he’s very very affectionate and loving I’m not sure I can deal with this type of behavior even if it only happens a couple times a week. Because of this I haven’t been feeling as good with him and frankly I’m not even trying to be with him nextOpinion or directive. Does this mean I shouldn’t be with him anymore?

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Do you sometimes forget to brush your teeth before bed? If so, I definitely understand the "did you brush your teeth?" question. I can't stand bad breath.

If he's just being a parent.... that's annoying. But you don't have to blow the whole thing up if you don't want to. There can be a conversation. Have you told him that he annoys you when he does this?

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He is a dentist so I appreciate his concern and his 2 minute rule to brushing your teeth. But really do I need to be reminded? He is always advising me to do things including how I eat, practice golf (that’s his passion not mine), etc. I suppose I’m very independent and resent his interference. 
 

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Told him he need not remind me about brushing teeth since I always do it. Told him his way of cooking isn’t the only right way to cook. He is always telling me what to do or how to do it. Like what to tell my adult son about taking my elderly cat to his place so I don’t have to take care of the cat myself. Now my cat is sick and he keeps saying I have to decide what to do and says he put his dog of 15 years down when he got sick and I tell him I will make the decision when I’m ready but he repeats the same thing to me on occasion 

Edited by Feelingnolove
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You've probably said things at the moment, and he brushed if off as minor annoyance. When you're both in a mellow mood, sit down with him to show him the seriousness of the matter. Be honest. Tell him that what he's doing is eating away any good feelings you have, and it has to stop. If it doesn't, the relationship can't continue. Tell him you're an adult, making your own decisions, and if he can't stop himself from being your life coach on what you think are minor issues, then you're not compatible.

A lot of people wish they'd been given the opportunity to change before someone breaks up. I know you've communicated things to him, but maybe he didn't sense the seriousness of it from you. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Edited by Andrina
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I appreciate the input and will lay it on the line but I’m not hopeful. Seems like it’s who he is. This is the same man who brought me to tears a few months ago when he told me my late husband abandoned me by dying after he smoked and that my boyfriend would never do that to me. He apologized but it was awful. Who says that kind of stuff? Same guy makes fun of my daughter when she calls while he’s visiting on the weekends suggesting she needs my advice for the most mundane things. Got the gist now?.

Edited by Feelingnolove
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22 minutes ago, Feelingnolove said:

Seems like it’s who he is. This is the same man who brought me to tears a few months ago when he told me my late husband abandoned me by dying after he smoked ........ Same guy makes fun of my daughter when she calls .Got the gist now?.

When reading your posts I fail to understand WHY on earth you are still with this jerk?  What do you get out of staying with such a toxic person?  Show him you have some self-respect and leave.  He treats you this way because you allow it.

How long have you been together?

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11 hours ago, Feelingnolove said:

it only happens a couple times a week

It shouldn't be happening at all.

He's not your father and the way he's talking to you, is degrading as he is basically assuming that you're not smart enough or responsible enough to take care of yourself or to know these things. He's treating you like a child and there is no way that is anything but damaging to a romantic relationship. It's no wonder you're not feeling great with him right now.

Tell him he needs to stop. Whatever made him think he needs to talk to you this way, he needs to realize that it's not okay and it is belittling to you.

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10 hours ago, Feelingnolove said:

he told me my late husband abandoned me by dying after he smoked and that my boyfriend would never do that to me. He apologized but it was awful. Who says that kind of stuff? Same guy makes fun of my daughter when she calls while he’s visiting on the weekends suggesting she needs my advice for the most mundane things

What?!? What's wrong with this guy, seriously. He is hostile and thinks he can say and act however he pleases and not take your feelings into account at all!

Why on earth would you remain with someone like this? Saying such cruel things about your husband who passed and then judging your daughter like that?

If it were me, he would be gone! That's terrible behavior.

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11 hours ago, Andrina said:

You've probably said things at the moment, and he brushed if off as minor annoyance. When you're both in a mellow mood, sit down with him to show him the seriousness of the matter. Be honest. Tell him that what he's doing is eating away any good feelings you have, and it has to stop. If it doesn't, the relationship can't continue.

Agree. Although as I am reading Feelingnolove's additional complaints (and noticing her username!!), I'm starting to think she's already decided to be done with this relationship.

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  • 4 weeks later...

It's just an annoyance and I don't think has anything to do with falling out of love because many people wouldn't want to be reminded of little things like that. Just tell him you appreciate the reminder but you are an adult and can take care of yourself and you also don't give him reminders all the time as that would be annoying. 

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