How to respond after a rejection?

[Vince99 29]

I've known a girl for several years. We've done a lot of sexual stuff together, not intercourse but pretty much everything else, although she has wanted to a couple times. I think the last time we were in bed together was about 6 months ago. 

We've hung out a few times a week every week for the last couple of months.  A few nights ago I asked her if she wanted to have sex and she said no, and that she "just wasn't feeling it with anyone right now". So I said ok and left. We've both established that we're not interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.  That was the first time I'd ever straight up asked her for sex.  All the previous stuff just kind of happened on its own while we were hanging out/making out, etc.

Then this morning at 2am I got a text asking "so do you hate me now?"  I haven't really said anything to her since the other night. 

I guess I should respond even though it's kind of a ridiculous question...I havent done or said anything to make her think that. I mean, do I just say "no" and nothing else?  She knows I'm not trying to date her. I just want a friends with benefits situation, so whatever response increases the chances of that would be best.

Edited December 15, 2020 by Vince99

[Jibralta 1,561]

4 minutes ago, Vince99 said:

I just want a friends with benefits situation, so whatever response increases the chances of that would be best.

Just be honest that you just want her for sex. That's the respectful thing to do.

If you lie to her just to increase your odds of getting sex, it's really just like hating her.

[abitbroken 1,322]

Its sad that a girl has to ask that question (or anyone does) after telling someone no to intercourse.

I would say "no. of course I don't hate you.

Right now she thinks you are a jerk who bailed because she wouldn't put out.

If you like hanging out with her but she doesn't want a boyfriend, I would be an upstanding guy and see her again to tell her that you respect her decision and you are looking for a girlfriend so its best that you don't hang out like that anymore, or you are on the same page and you don't want a girlfriend either but accept her boundaries.  

But honestly, stop using her.

[Wiseman2 3,180]

1 hour ago, Vince99 said:

I asked her if she wanted to have sex and she said no, and that she "just wasn't feeling it with anyone right now". 

We've both established that we're not interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. 

Then this morning at 2am I got a text asking "so do you hate me now?" 

Are you sure she's ok with FWB? If you want to keep the arrangement you have, reassure her. 

[Rose Mosse 1,115]

What's the hesitation in response? Just let her know that you see her as a friend only and are only interested in fwb, both of you are good and ask her how she's doing this week.

[smackie9 821]

After all this time.....move on.