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Help with an insecurity I've found within myself


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Hi

 

I wish for some advice regards an insecurity I've reflected I possess within me and would like to work and correct.

 

A person I was very close to, now has a real negative opinion of me, called me some awful things and has completely blocked me from everywhere.

I have this need and feeling to reach out and prove to that person that their opinion of me is wrong and that I am nothing like what has been said about me.

 

Your help and advice is appreciated.

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Don't bother. The best thing in such cases is not to waste time defending yourself from others opinions.

 

If she's an exgf the best thing you can do is delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

 

Why bother chasing after someone like this? Let it go. You'll feel better.

 

Whatever direct or indirect jabs people like to take at you consider the source and context. Don't prove anything to anyone or take that bait.

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This is something I think everyone struggles with at some point. Being judge harshly, wishing we could change it but the other person is not open it.

 

You have to choose to forgive yourself, accept yourself, care more for yourself. It takes practice. Telling yourself good, supportive things. like "I tried my best. I'm doing my best. Its ok"

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Generally our exes don't have the highest opinion of us. Oftentimes it's because that's how the deal with it because it's the only way they can justify to themselves that we "deserved" to be dumped. Or, sometimes we do deserve the poor opinion.

 

There is absolutely nothing we can do about it. And I can pretty much guarantee if you try to contact her to convince her she's "wrong" about you, it will just reinforce her poor opinion.

 

Not everyone is going to like us. It's a fact of life. The best thing to do is make sure we surround ourselves with people who genuinely do care about us.

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So have you actually done something wrong to that person or anyone else? What has made them feel this way about you? If you haven't done anything then I don't see why you should have to reach out and apologise or try to change their mind.

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Even though our stories are not the same, I could've written your post when applying it to a similar situation in my past. Like you, I had to prove my point, defend and clear my good name, set the record straight, have the last word, defend myself and get it off my chest. Even though you want to do everything I had just rattled off, don't waste your time and energy on a person who doesn't think you're important to them otherwise you're only setting yourself up for more disappointment, pain, anger or all three.

 

The way you can feel secure is to let it go and let go of the past and the person in it. This person doesn't matter anymore and to them, you don't matter to them either. Be fair to yourself. Resuming contact with an ex-person in your life is pitiful and it's like begging to get back into their good graces to no avail. It's all an effort in futility. It will get you nowhere.

 

What helps is to write it all down for your peace of mind and don't do anything with it. Don't send it. Sleep on it and the next day, you will feel relieved that you DIDN'T send it.

 

You can't control what others say and think about you. It's always beyond your control. The only thing you can do is truly move on with your life without dwelling and ruminating on a person who is worth less than the dust in the air.

 

In your mind, learn to walk away. Only do what brings you joy. The only people who deserve to be in your life are those who treat you with respect, care, kindness, consideration, integrity and sound morals. Everyone else is less than the dirt underneath your feet. Learn to discern. Then you will be secure for life. Be wise.

 

If this person is in your social media, it's time to block and delete so this person can become "out of sight, out of mind" for you.

 

Stay strong, DannyM87. Don't get hurt. Be smart instead.

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