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my heart is broken- I made a huge impulsive mistake and walked away from the most beautiful thing in the world.

 

yea it was hard and disruptive and a bit of an strange match but I was fine this month when I said goodbye but I thought it would be fine and now I am just in utter disbelief about how awful I acted saying no a chance at a home with someone who is although faulty and not perfect- my heart is in a million pieces

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You cannot love someone you've known for 30 days. It's called a crush. Your skewed mentality is nothing a layman can fix on this forum. You need a life coach and psychological therapy since you're cho

That belief is limiting you. So is this one: You can change your beliefs if you choose. But it's your life, your decision. You have to live with it.

yes wiseman - you are wise.    you are right - he is not interested in continuing any sort of contact.   I get it I just don’t really want to accept that and move on.   

1 month - whilrwind romance a complete change from anything I have ever known.

 

Then I panicked because I didn’t believe it was actually real - I broke up and actually just left the table with n the middle of a beer

I think you have to consider thar you had such a dramatic reaction because this is how you really feel.

 

Knee jerk reactions, first guesses and the such are genuine reactions because we don't have time to think.

 

You're just back peddling out of fear, loneliness or some other feeling of lack.

 

Whirlwind romances can be fleeting. they burn out fast ...

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IMO, people who really care never bail unless there's a dealbreaker. You didn't care enough to stick around and fix whatever issues concerned you. You're not enjoying going solo, so are seeking something from the past because you can't envision a brighter future with an unknown. Enjoy your own company for now. When you meet the right one, you won't want to break up.

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because the whole thing from start to end was a complete surprise. never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this experience- unreal actually.

 

I guess I thought I had to share it with the world rather than keep it to myself.

 

a ‘relationship’ ? with like its like wanting to own the mona lisa or david in florence or wanting to own the moon

 

 

just couldn’t believe it was real. and I didn’t know how such a whilrwind intense romance could translate into real actual every day life

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I have to say, I have never been in your shoes. From what you have posted this was between how you were feeling with intensity, but your logical side told you "this isn't going to work we are way too different".

 

The heart and mind plays tricks on us. If you wish to venture another try at this, reach out, and explain yourself as honestly as you can. If you do see this person again, I recommend you slooooooooowwwwww dooooowwwwwn! Give a little space between each other, get to know one another proper, stick with outside dates, like walks, etc. Keep out of the bedroom, off the couch, don't text each other every two minutes. As long as you let her know what steps are being applies, I think this can be workable.

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Faulty? What was faulty about the relationship or her? Breaking up with someone usually results in mixed feelings for both sides. Just because you walked away from it, doesn't mean you're heartless.

 

I think you may have done yourself a favour but are still feeling bad after the fact. Take it easy and let the dust settle for awhile. This may be a blessing in disguise.

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The part of you that walked away saw 'too much, too soon...' as the giant red flag that it often is.

 

Either you trust your gut, or you don't. You can't have it both ways--without sabotaging yourself.

 

None of us were in this with you. Either it was fabulous enough to pursue, or it wasn't. Either you trust the part of yourself that said "no," or you don't.

 

Reconcile that first.

 

Let us know what you decide, and if not, WHY not?

 

Head high.

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yes it was fabulous just unpredictable and I was feeling pretty insecure and thought he didn’t care. I was wrong- I was used to dating the bad boy but this bad boy turned the leaf and I guess I wasn’t expecting it. I thought he wanted to play games and I liked being away from my family and having the time of my life. just turned real!

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23 minutes ago, boobasil20 said:

He has blocked me everywhere and I honestly don’t remember anyone or anywhere to find him and tell him how much I care 

Unfortunately , you'll have to view this as a sign that he doesn't want to continue dating. 

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16 hours ago, Spawn said:

if you are in a healthy relationship all this blocking & walking/running away instances will not happen but you need to be ready for it. You have issues to sort out there, be patient with yourself.

ok - the issue is that he was with another girl the first time we met. I didn’t think anything of it - he was definitely gorgeous but I was just being friendly and introduced myself and also introduced myself to the girl he was with.

 

I walked away after 10 minutes then I felt like someone was trying to get my attention or I was wondering if I would see him again and he waved at me - asked me out then I said ok.

 

 

fastforward - I have no idea until this day if he ever was dating that other girl?

 

I don’t want to step on anyones toes

 

we had a green date - casual but then he said in passing- ‘ I’ve stopped seeing othe people...or maybe he said Im not seeing anyone..’ not sure

 

but then I told him I loved him and he freaked out but at the same time he says he is not seeing others but he was with the other girl .

 

I can’t deal with this situation- him not being interested but telling me he is not seeing anyone and then looking at me like I am the most beautiful person in the world and then just disappear ing for like all the time and then I did get a phone call on NYE but I wasn’t paying attention!

 

Im just lost I don’t want to steal another woman’s man but my heart beats just dont stop and right now its just better to keep my distance, bury my head in a hole , and stop crushing on this person.

jusy more details because this is difficult and I can’t find any type of closure- thank you forum 

 

Im always the girl that guys in monogamus relationships want to date. why am I that girl? is it ok ? I have had 3 long term ‘ relationships’ all ended each of them lasted at least 6 months. 

 

never married never had kids never anything eventhough this guy DID ask me to marry him on one of our dates when we were both really drunk but isn’t that how lost people with successful relationships meet in the first place? wasted , drunk, hammered ??? any one with comments or ideas on how I can just forget about this and or find out what he really thinks would be super helpful.

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22 minutes ago, boobasil20 said:

Im always the girl that guys in monogamus relationships want to date. why am I that girl? is it ok ? I have had 3 long term ‘ relationships’ all ended each of them lasted at least 6 months. 

 

No, it just means your picker is off and you're associating with the wrong kinds of men. They are emotionally unavailable and perhaps there's a lure to them that you haven't yet hacked. We all have flaws so the quicker you stop beating yourself up over it and address it, the better your chances at finding men who are available.

Are you following him on social media etc? It would be easier to cut contact cleanly and start your life fresh without all this headache. It doesn't sound like he's making time for you.

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On 12/3/2020 at 1:24 AM, Wiseman2 said:

How long were you together? What happened and why did you end it?

On 12/3/2020 at 1:31 AM, boobasil20 said:

1 month - whilrwind romance a complete change from anything I have ever known.

11 hours ago, boobasil20 said:

then I did get a phone call on NYE but I wasn’t paying attention!

Can you please clarify this timeline? Did this month happen a year ago or more?

 

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Im always the girl that guys in monogamus relationships want to date. why am I that girl? is it ok ? 

Since you're noticing a pattern, you're the common denominator. Subconsciously, you think you only deserve unethical men, so that's what you attract and accept. When he asked you out, why didn't you ask who the other woman was? Wasn't that important? Why did you turn a blind eye?

Work on your self esteem, and then you will attract and only accept decent men.

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