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Was that that bad?


yeshteso
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So my ex gf has been playing a specific game for a long time.

After getting to know some people through that game, they formed a group. After that I noticed that she suffered from sleep deprivation (she spend all night chatting and playing) didn't eat properly and pretty much neglected her studies for the degree. When she used to be fully concentrated on it.

Those were no assumptions, she talked to me about it and complained that in order to be part of the group she needed to do this and that. So extra responsibilities.

 

It was hurting me seeing her like that, with dark circles ready to collapse.

 

So I reached out to one of the members of the group, explaining that maybe they should encourage her to sleep more and don't weight her shoulders with extra work. Therefore to go easy on her. I just wanted to help... She is 26

 

 

My ex, was upset I reached out and I got mixed up to her life... I mean partners share their lifes anyway. She told me that I shouldn't have interfered to her business and some other harsh stuff like "I shouldn't have trusted you with my problems"... I felt like trash literally, I cared so much for her I wanted to see her smiley eyes again.

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Have you met in person? How long has she been your ex? Why did you break up?

 

Her gaming addiction is her and her families responsibility. If she's not working and her family is wasting money on these games and her education,let them deal with it.

 

It's not your job to fix her and don't do end runs around people. She's right to be upset that you ran around gossiping about her and telling her friends what to do.

 

Stay in your own lane. If she's an ex you need to block and delete her from all your social media and messaging apps and gaming platforms.

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I think that while you probably had good intentions, you definitely over-stepped your boundaries here.

 

It's rather infantilizing to intervene on behalf of a 26-year-old woman. There is a difference between being supportive and offering suggestions, and telling other people how to behave with her. I would not be pleased with your actions, either.

 

Having said that, you need to question the maturity and priorities of an adult who games to the extent that their sleep, studies and daily life are affected. That is on her, not anyone else.

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I think that while you probably had good intentions, you definitely over-stepped your boundaries here.

 

It's rather infantilizing to intervene on behalf of a 26-year-old woman. There is a difference between being supportive and offering suggestions, and telling other people how to behave with her. I would not be pleased with your actions, either.

 

Having said that, you need to question the maturity and priorities of an adult who games to the extent that their sleep, studies and daily life are affected. That is on her, not anyone else.

 

Agree with all of this.

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COD and WOW have put out new content recently so ya her, and million and millions of others are doing the same thing. It's like being released at the gate at a horse race. The big rush usually lasts for 2 to 3 weeks, then it dies off when everyone has finished doing whatever. People sacrifice their studies, skip out of work,call in sick. It is what it is.

 

You messed up yes. You never go behind a persons back to fix their problems...you talk to them and ask what you can do to help, express concern, then leave it. Sometimes they just want some emotional support, not help. She's an adult. She is responsible for her own consequences. If she messes up her exams, it's her doing....she a big girl.

 

If this is an ongoing thing with her gaming, then you need to question her priorities, and maturity....this breakup might be a good thing for you. People like that can easily put you down with them.

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It's bad. That's all right. Hopefully now you know. And let all that go. You'll want to be with someone you get along with anyway and who has the same outlook as you. Exes generally don't remain friends for long or they remain at a respectful distance while you both move on with your lives. There is no hard and fast rule but that caretaking aspect of yours might continue to get you into hot soup. It's none of your business what she does in her free time and if she can't handle her own smiley eyes, it's not up to you to install them back in.

 

Besides, there's something sexy about a man who knows his boundaries, no? If you still have feelings for her, let her come to you.

 

Why did the two of you break up?

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