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I’m a freshman in college and I am five hours from my hometown. I had the same girlfriend since my junior year in Highschool. She still lives in my home town. While I was at college I met someone else. I broke up with my long time girlfriend about a month ago now and now I don’t know which one to choose. I’m not yet in a relationship with the new girl I met but we have both expressed interest in each other and have made plans on starting a relationship when I get back from winter break. And my now ex girlfriend sill has immense feelings for me and would get back together if she got the chance, and honestly I feel the same way. Now that I am back home for winter break I’m right down the road from my ex and five hours away from the other one. A big part of this is the distance. I have history with my ex and there are things I like about her more than the other one. But on the other hand the new girl has traits I like more but I do not know what a relationship with her would be like. My ex has fewer qualities that I can share than the new one but we have been through so much together. All in all my question is: should I go back to the familiar and break the new one’s heart, or see what happens with the new girl and break the old girl’s heart?

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You cannot handle long distance so the reason for breaking up is still there. If you were to get back with your ex you would end up breaking up again due to the distance once you get back to college. So do her a favor and don't get back with her. It's that simple.

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All in all my question is: should I go back to the familiar and break the new one’s heart, or see what happens with the new girl and break the old girl’s heart?

 

LOL, you phrase this like you'd be doing either girl a favor by being with them. Saving their poor little hearts. Oh brother.

 

What's really happening is: you dislike being inconvenienced for even a month by long distance, and are actually 100% out for yourself and your own comfort.

 

If you truly want to do either of them a favor, get real. Leave them both alone and get yourself together before you start dating again. It's not nice to take advantage of other people to make yourself feel better.

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I completely agree with Jilbrata and Hollyj.

 

Come on, man... break the new girl's heart? That's a bit of a stretch.

 

But the real damage and cruelness is to your ex-gf. You're gonna jerk her around. you're in, you're out, you love her, but there's someone else. And this is a person you claim to care about.

 

Think about someone other than yourself. Just because you "can" doesn't mean you should.

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Here's what you do:

Tell home town girl you want her to be your girlfriend whenever you're home for a holiday break and during the summer. Tell college girl you want her to be your girlfriend when you're at school. Tell them both they are not to cry or beg or otherwise interfere with your enjoyment during your time with the other girlfriend. That way you can be assured of having a convenient girlfriend at all times so you'll never have to go without.

 

I hope you can see the sarcasm.

 

Seriously, do not have a girlfriend at all until you can get it together. Date casually. And please let the hometown girl go. You don't love her. Let her find someone who does.

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Well basically to me it sounds like you really have that "out of sight, out of mind" mentality about relationships. You became interested in the new girl because you couldn't physically be with your ex-girlfriend. Now you're just down the road from your ex and it's convenient, so you're thinking of getting back together with her. That's not how relationships work. So when you get back to college, you'll switch to the new girl just because she's actually there? To be honest it doesn't sound to me like you're into either of them that much. Sounds like you lost feelings for your ex because you wanted to date someone else. But doesn't sound like you're that interested in the new girl either. Now that you're away from her, you're not even sure if you want her. I'd suggest not pursuing either of them because you're being very flakey and you're probably only going to hurt them both.

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