Jump to content

My bestfriend’s boyfriend is sketchy.


WhatToDo2020

Recommended Posts

I am very conflicted. My bestfriend’s boyfriend, who happens to be my very close friend, has been doing sketchy things behind her back. He doesn’t know I know. But he’s been asking many people of our friend group to have sex with him. He even asked some people if he could have treesomes with them (him, and two other friends of his gf)! He even has resorted to caress their legs and such in public while he’s with my bestfriend(his girlfriend). What do i dooooooo? Fyi, everyone he’s approached with this is close friends with his girlfriend, wayy before they knew him. Idk what to do. Because i feel like it’s cheating but its not technically cheating. Me telling would cause me to lose everyone in my life right now. Should I continue to not say anything about what he’s been doing or whaat?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This may not be the most popular reply, but I'd stay out of it. It sounds as if he's pulling these shenanigans right under her nose, where she's chosen to look the other way, or on the other hand, you could be taking on the role of shoot the messenger.

 

In any event I'd give him enough rope and he'll hang himself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This may not be the most popular reply, but I'd stay out of it. It sounds as if he's pulling these shenanigans right under her nose, where she's choose to look the other way, or on the other hand, you could be taking on the role of shoot the messenger.

 

In any event I'd give him enough rope and he'll hang himself.

Thx for saying this.

I've lived this. Watched others in the same predicament and all I can say is, have you ever heard the term ' shoot the messenger'?

 

People don't like bad news. Romantic relationships are often complex. People stay with someone for reasons other than being in a relationship.

 

You catch someone off guard with bad news, don't be surprised if your friendship gets sacrificed for the sake of staying. After all someone needs to take the blame. Blame isn't necessarily assigned to where it ought to be placed either.

If he's that sketchy. . And yes he's reaaally sketchy. Trust that it will catch up him without your help.

Personally, I'd avoid them both for the time being.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess you guys are right. Ultimately the blame will be put on me. I’m better off minding my business. I’ve thought that was the best way, and I feel like a bad friend, but in this particular situation I think being selfish and watching out for myself is better for everyone. She’ll notice, and if she doesn’t then she’s just plain out ignoring the situation. Thanks for the advice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All of us are in the same friend group. We are all really close, but when I started noticing the sketchy behavior, I drifted away. I know because I’ve witnessed some of it, I’ve been shown messages. He once told me he would never come on to me because if I did he knows I would tell her.

I honestly don’t know if she’s happy, she’s told me he get disrespectful when he drinks and doesn’t really go out of her way for her, but other than that I guess everything’s ok. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know because every time she brings up having issues with him she goes “at least he doesn’t cheat on me”, lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you hoping they breakup? Will your screen shots convince her? Why are you so involved in this?

 

Why would her BF even get on the subject of "coming on to you"?

 

Do you think showing her your "evidence" will help her or your friendship?

 

Why aren't the women he allegedly came on to and whose screenshots you've been gatherings told her about it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If that sort of behaviour turns you off I'm not sure why you'd want to be around any of these people anyway so losing these so-called friends wouldn't be much of a loss.

 

I'd mention the truth and be over with it. There are bigger and brighter things for you than worrying over this. Hope this is resolved soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you see him touching someone inapropriately in front of you, loudly say "what are you doing??" Call it out when you see it.

If you KNOW and pretend you don't, you are hurting your friend.

I would not report hearsay - things you THINK.

But anything right in your face, I think you should.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am very conflicted. My bestfriend’s boyfriend, who happens to be my very close friend, has been doing sketchy things behind her back. He doesn’t know I know. But he’s been asking many people of our friend group to have sex with him. He even asked some people if he could have treesomes with them (him, and two other friends of his gf)! He even has resorted to caress their legs and such in public while he’s with my bestfriend(his girlfriend). What do i dooooooo? Fyi, everyone he’s approached with this is close friends with his girlfriend, wayy before they knew him. Idk what to do. Because i feel like it’s cheating but its not technically cheating. Me telling would cause me to lose everyone in my life right now. Should I continue to not say anything about what he’s been doing or whaat?

 

How do you know about these things? I'd just say to whoever tells me, "Why are you telling me, when you can tell HerName?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...