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Why are guys asking for sexy photos?


sadchick83
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So last night I went out to bar and met a nice lawyer. He had a table with bottle service and was fun but professional. At the end of the evening and today he has bombarded me with requests for sexy photos.

 

So you met this guy in person and he still asked you only for photos and not the real thing? Seems odd.

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Thanks to everyone for their responses. To clarify, I am not insecure. Actually, I just lost a bit of weigh, am exercising and feel and look great.

 

At the moment I have decided to start going out again after a long hiatus due to a horrifying breakup (read: team of lawyers on both sides) with an age appropriate man. I moved to the South and didn’t not leave my apartment at night for nearly 2 years. So at this point I will chat/have a drink with anyone who approaches me. It could be in a drugstore or out at a nice martini bar. I don’t really care about age or race, however, I really don’t want anything serious right now and I feel younger guys are not at all shy and seem to fit the bill.

 

A work friend, who is approximately my age, is seeing a couple of men and has many smutty photos of them on her phone. I guess I was just asking when did this become a thing? Last time I was single was 2011 and no one was snapping nude photos of themselves for selective distribution.

 

I do appreciate the advice and agree with many of your points - asking for photos is definitely a sleazy request, especially if a person in on the fence about a person, like ewww.

 

**Update: Lawyer guy messaged me tonight after a few texts this week and asked me for photos - forget it, totally gross request at this point. About to block him.

 

Younger guy: has COVID, so definitely good that the flirting, smutty chat was over the phone. Will end it will him as well. My sister thinks there is some odd reason we met in person but don’t see each other due to work schedules. He works until midnight/1:00am, and I’m not meeting up that late. She thinks he either lives with his Mom/girlfriend or has an STD.

 

Honestly, flirting with the younger guy got me to finally go out at night, I was sexually dead before that, as the long term relationship I had was virtually sexless, so grateful he got me out of my shell and feeling excited again.

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I guess I was just asking when did this become a thing?

 

I'm no scholar on all this, but let's peg it at somewhere around 2013, really catching fire in 2015. Five years later that fire rages, burning up serious acreage of maturity and dignity. Is what it is.

 

Support for this theory? This is when Instagram (launched in 2010) really became a thing, inspiring large subsets of the human population (their brains already tweaked by Facebook etc.) to start behaving like reality TV stars, validating our most base and basic instincts in peculiar ways, to the point where behavior that once got us shunned started getting us (some of us!) wild amounts of attention. Stir in Tinder (launched in 2012, seriously popular by 2014) along with its spawn (Bumble, Hinge, the swipe-ification of older dating sites), and you get a bit of a fun house mirror in which otherwise sane human beings get a little lost.

 

I'm a guy, have never asked for such photos. But for what it's worth? I've received some, with zero provocation. Always curious, the impulse to break out the insta-sauce, but I guess it's a thing that works for some people, induces yawns and eye rolls in others. Shrug emoji, you know? All in all, though, it doesn't seem to be the "new normal," but just something that's always been part and parcel of dating (some cray-cray is out there! different strokes, different folks!) stoked into a more feral state by modern times, modern tech.

 

My few cents, to spend how you see fit.

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I'm no scholar on all this, but let's peg it at somewhere around 2013, really catching fire in 2015. Five years later that fire rages, burning up serious acreage of maturity and dignity. Is what it is.

 

Support for this theory? This is when Instagram (launched in 2010) really became a thing, inspiring large subsets of the human population (their brains already tweaked by Facebook etc.) to start behaving like reality TV stars, validating our most base and basic instincts in peculiar ways, to the point where behavior that once got us shunned started getting us (some of us!) wild amounts of attention. Stir in Tinder (launched in 2012, seriously popular by 2014) along with its spawn (Bumble, Hinge, the swipe-ification of older dating sites), and you get a bit of a fun house mirror in which otherwise sane human beings get a little lost.

 

I'm a guy, have never asked for such photos. But for what it's worth? I've received some, with zero provocation. Always curious, the impulse to break out the insta-sauce, but I guess it's a thing that works for some people, induces yawns and eye rolls in others. Shrug emoji, you know? All in all, though, it doesn't seem to be the "new normal," but just something that's always been part and parcel of dating (some cray-cray is out there! different strokes, different folks!) stoked into a more feral state by modern times, modern tech.

 

My few cents, to spend how you see fit.

 

I was asked for more photos prior to 2005 and it seemed sexy photos. Didn't have/would never send/would never interact with a person who asked. I posted 4 photos on my dating profile back then.

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To add to Bluecastle's comprehensive informative post, don't forget smartphones and porn. Smartphones were everywhere but 2010. On those phones porn was readily available.

 

This conditions people to expect nude photos but, without paying or malware. Don't send images you don't want going viral in a nanosecond. It's that simple.

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