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Has the demographics of dating apps changed during the pandemic?


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I've been on dating apps for a while on/off for a couple of years. Since the pandemics started I returned back to it with no expectations that I will ever meet anyone.

And to be honest that was the case from March until August. Then things changed.

 

I did not only started to get more matches but also almost every person I matched with accepted an invitation for a date. Just to clarify, I did not look for an ONS and the only matches I chose to meet were the ones that seemed to have similar hobbies like me.

 

Long story short, what I figure out is that all of my matches had these traits:

 

* Were very talkative (extroverts?).


* were sharing flats with a few other people.


* Were bored of their inner social circle.


* Unemployed (due to pandemics).


* did not show interest in a 2nd date (the ones that I met. Might also be my fault, I didn't feel of putting effort).


 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel that a new type of people started to use dating apps?

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Well, I think it's hard to know if they didn't want a second date just because they were only using people to be able to go out after the pandemic. Even before the pandemic many people I went on dates with didn't want a second date, and I didn't either. I think if they'd felt a spark, they probably would have still wanted to catch up again. Back in May/June, I did catch up with one person from online who wasn't exactly what I was looking for. I mainly only caught up because they were the only person that wanted to catch up and eager to organise a time. But now that restrictions eased off where I live, I'm only meeting people I actually see as potential.

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I think its still a numbers game.

The difference is, the women who would meet a guy or vice versa by chance at a social event and then not accept a date because they met someone offsite first -- you will get some people that are amazing and some people that you would have a nice convo with at a social event but then find someone more interesting at the same event because no one can really meet by chance so much these days. But you don't know which they will be until you meet them.

 

I think its encouraging if you are actually getting first dates

 

But are you following up and telling your date that you had a good time afterwards or are you expecting them to do so (the ones you are interested in(

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Have you considered quality paid dating apps? That may help with the quality you are getting.

 

Hopefully you have an new updated profile and recent pics. On/off serial daters can be identified.

 

It sounds like you simply lowered your criteria and screening so you got a lot more matches.

 

What is it you are looking for? Hookups? Casual dating? killing time? a relationship?

 

When you screen better for age, location, preferences, you won't waste as much time chitchatting with or meeting women you're not that interested in.

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I don't know about dating apps in particular, but I do know that the third level of human needs is social and involves feelings of love / belongingness. We desperately need interpersonal relationships. Thus, it's no surprise that this erratic pandemic, which is affecting people mentally, drives some to connect with others out of loneliness / desperation.

 

Like when your ex misses you during this pandemic, even though you haven't spoken for years.

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Uhm... pandemic or none, once you can grasp that finding a good match is--and will always be--a needle-in-the-haystack kind of thing, the more liberated you will feel about dating apps.

 

Don't shoot for full dates. Set up quick meets and keep on screening. When you stumble into simpatico with someone who owns the right lens through which to view you, you'll know it.

 

You'll thank yourself for hanging in there.

 

Head high.

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Have you considered quality paid dating apps?

 

I see this advice a lot on this site and, while not disagreeing with the thought process behind it (people who pay are likely to be more serious and genuine about dating etc), I always think to myself "what are these quality paid apps?"

 

The 2 'big paid sites' that immediately spring to mind are Match and E-harmony. But from my experience and the experience of others, these have both gone massively downhill over the last few years due to not deleting their inactive unsubscribed members, and there being no way to see who's an active member and who isn't. Reading the 'Is there any point doing online dating' thread, I can see several other members saying the exact same thing.

 

So, genuine question, what are these quality paid apps?

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Ian. I honestly don't know a lot about OLD but found this (merely an example).

 

https://www.searchmate.co.uk/membership/

 

"Most people that speak to us about joining have tried online dating and know it’s not for them, so if you worry about meeting strangers and having your confidential details on a highly public dating site or you’ve read about the huge amount of crime now associated with online dating, then we are waiting to provide a quality alternative, whenever the time is right for you.

 

If you’re unaware of the problems, online dating related crime has been a huge problem in recent years in the UK and abroad. Pick up a newspaper or utilise an internet search engine and the statistics are worrying, more than 1 million fake profiles in the UK alone, internet dating fraud running at £41 million or £100 million if Facebook is included, more than 400 murders that are online dating related worldwide and other online dating related crime growing expediently. We believe that the Searchmate way of dating is safer, more confidential, attracts stable, solvent people and therefore results in better quality matches, particularly in the light of the current health crisis gripping the country."

 

I expect there are agencies like this in most countries?

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There you go Ian! I knew you'd spot those prices. I've got news for you. It seems there are specialised companies that charge a lot more.

 

I suppose like everything in life you get what you pay for.

 

You could check online and see if there are "opinions" out there as regards that site or others like it.

 

Some more info on that site.

 

https://www.datingadvice.com/for-men/searchmate-a-uk-introduction-service-with-a-database-of-high-caliber-singles

 

All of this is quite fascinating!

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There you go Ian! I knew you'd spot those prices. I've got news for you. It seems there are specialised companies that charge a lot more.

 

Haha! That's my dating life sorted! I just need to sell my van, not eat, not buy anyone any Christmas presents and not use any heating or electric for a couple of months and then I might be able to scrape together the membership fee :D:D

 

I'm sure that when people on here say 'use a quality paid dating app', they don't generally mean 'splash out thousands'. So, come on, what are these 'quality paid apps'?

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I'm telling you Ian. Lol. Those are the quality paid sites. In the scheme of things maybe people might consider that a couple of thousand pounds is not much if it saves your valuable time. Could I remark there are quality sites (G&F) which I see charge starting at 15.000 pounds and upto 30.000 gbp. I know. Eye-watering.

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I often wonder what the men see on their end.

 

It must be a lot better than what the women are seeing.

 

I found the paid sites/apps to the very worst because while people might be more "serious" I found them to be too serious. As in, when you shell out a certain amount of money, especially for the pricey ones, you feel entitled to results. And if those results don't materialize for whatever reason, there's trouble. Like you're not getting what you paid for. I found that attitude a lot on paid sites. The free ones were a bit better, but littered with unemployed men. Or divorced men paying half their paycheck to their ex-wife (that they were still very much in love with) and looking for a woman to move in with and help them financially.

 

It's no secret that men and women will have a vastly different experience online. If I was a man, I'd probably pay to join. As a woman, no way in he11.

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Gosh, Waffle

 

"but littered with unemployed men. Or divorced men paying half their paycheck to their ex-wife (that they were still very much in love with) and looking for a woman to move in with and help them financially.

"

 

Nothing too good about that picture! And yes I have heard that a lot too, the vast unemployed looking for a nice woman to keep them. I find it baffling.

 

This is what Searchmate has to say (among other stuff):

 

"The Right Level of Fees

Whilst we believe in offering great value for money, our fees are at the right level to ensure that we only attract people of the right calibre. This is a service where we are searching for your potential life partner after all and that could not and should not be done on the cheap. The Searchmate process is worth a modest level of investment, but is realistically within the reach of most professional people of the calibre that we are seeking."

 

Definitely out of the reach of the army of unemployed, lol.

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Paid dating apps are not a panacea. There's faults with them also. Think of it more as a level of screening, not a level of guaranteed success.

 

The reason for this is in the swiping world of dating apps, it's much easier to mindlessly jump on them without having to enter a credit card.

 

So, again more like a level of screening to rule out people who jump on dating apps the nanosecond they have an argument, on a whim to "see what's out there",etc.

 

So... not a guarantee of anything, just a layer of screening to weed out people who can't even get credit, have a "what the heck" attitude and so on.

 

Can someone find a date/relationship on Tinder? Sure. Just more screening and sifting.

 

Do you have to take out a second mortgage to find a date? well no. But joining up for a couple months may save some wear and tear ruling out people.

 

It's important to realize that much of using dating apps is not about finding the one, but preventing burn out.

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It must be a lot better than what the women are seeing.

 

I found the paid sites/apps to the very worst because while people might be more "serious" I found them to be too serious. As in, when you shell out a certain amount of money, especially for the pricey ones, you feel entitled to results. And if those results don't materialize for whatever reason, there's trouble. Like you're not getting what you paid for. I found that attitude a lot on paid sites. The free ones were a bit better, but littered with unemployed men. Or divorced men paying half their paycheck to their ex-wife (that they were still very much in love with) and looking for a woman to move in with and help them financially.

 

It's no secret that men and women will have a vastly different experience online. If I was a man, I'd probably pay to join. As a woman, no way in he11.

 

I had a quiet laugh about this, Waffle. Love your witty takes.

 

I texted a friend the other night about something I saw and thankfully had someone to commiserate with. He quickly pointed out that dating apps are a hit and miss but I am less fazed. He is a gentle soul.

 

I think there are kind people out there. A lot of strange but life is strange. Preventing burn out is it totally. Thanks for that tidbit, Wiseman.

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Problem is people (I would say men but it may be women too) DO feel like if they're spending their money, that they should be getting something for that money. I mean, no one likes to waste money and these sites can be pricey. We can sit here and say all day "use it as a screening tool" but when people's cash is involved they want a guarantee.

 

And that's one of the many reasons why it doesn't work and the whole "dating app" (especially the paid ones) is set up for failure.

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No one can limit unrealistic expectations. No matter what product it is .

 

Dating apps paid or free are simply an introduction service to whoever else is on there.

 

People who treat it like Amazon, and think specifically curated people have been hand picked for you, will be disappointed .

 

They may be more disappointed if their unrealistic expectations are something they paid for.

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Yes I've noticed it too, but there was a category you missed. People that just want some virtual interaction and have no intentions of meeting, I've had that happen a few times since March on the apps. Also sometimes I'll have more matches than I can handle and some slip through the cracks but it seems to have cooled off now, which is normal for the dating scene right before Christmas. After new years it'll probably be crazier than ever though.

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I see this advice a lot on this site and, while not disagreeing with the thought process behind it (people who pay are likely to be more serious and genuine about dating etc), I always think to myself "what are these quality paid apps?"

 

The 2 'big paid sites' that immediately spring to mind are Match and E-harmony. But from my experience and the experience of others, these have both gone massively downhill over the last few years due to not deleting their inactive unsubscribed members, and there being no way to see who's an active member and who isn't. Reading the 'Is there any point doing online dating' thread, I can see several other members saying the exact same thing.

 

So, genuine question, what are these quality paid apps?

 

There aren't any, and anyone telling you to sign up to a paid site isn't in the current dating scene and shouldn't be giving out bad (and costly) "advice". You are exactly right about Match and EH, they're both shells of their former selves loaded with long abandoned accounts. The big apps are bumble and hinge nowadays.

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