Confused about our friendship after breaking up!

[Ellie56 1]

Just a bit confused about a friendship with an ex...We were friends with benefits for a year ,we had a row this was August this year and he was so angry he blocked me, then 3 weeks ago he unblocked me and we had a few chats and cleared the air, he did say during our split since August he did meet someone but there was red flags so he ended it but they still talk...Anyway since last week hes been calling everyday about 3/4 times just like how it used to be, but hes clearly stated theres no going back and I agree, but I'm confused and not sure I believe hes suddenly ended things with this other person, I have told him if there is someone I cant be his friend yet...So what's his motive if any...?

[melancholy123 487]

Looking to get laid? Bored? Missing you? Who knows, you need to ask him. If you dont want to be bothered with him, block and delete him from your phone and social media.

[Capricorn3 1,099]

I thought you said you blocked him (in previous thread). There's no need to be confused - just go back and read your previous thread about this toxic relationship you have with this guy to remind yourself what a mess he is and then, hopefully, you'll block him for good this time. And then look within and ask yourself why you keep getting drawn back to such dysfunctional drama.

[Rose Mosse 745]

Just a bit confused about a friendship with an ex...We were friends with benefits for a year ,we had a row this was August this year and he was so angry he blocked me, then 3 weeks ago he unblocked me and we had a few chats and cleared the air, he did say during our split since August he did meet someone but there was red flags so he ended it but they still talk...Anyway since last week hes been calling everyday about 3/4 times just like how it used to be, but hes clearly stated theres no going back and I agree, but I'm confused and not sure I believe hes suddenly ended things with this other person, I have told him if there is someone I cant be his friend yet...So what's his motive if any...?

 

Go with this and sit on this thought for awhile. Take a few days with it.

 

Relationships are built on trust. Without trust, there is no friendship or relationship. Keep it as simple as possible. I think the bold part is everything you need to know.

[boltnrun 1,503]

Is he still doing drugs and drinking to excess?

[Wiseman2 2,829]

Sorry to hear that. It depends on what you want with him. You realize he's on/off with someone and backtracking through his list for hookups.

 

Are you dating anyone? When he moves on to or back to someone else, where would you like to see this going?

 

.We were friends with benefits for a year

[catfeeder 2,002]

Confused about our friendship after breaking up!

 

Don't work backwards from trying to figure out what HE wants.

 

Self honesty is your friend. Figure out what YOU want in a relationship.

 

From there, skip anyone who doesn't offer that.

 

You'll suffer no confusion once you get clear about what you want. If you're unclear about that because you've been too malleable to the wants of others, take a break from others long enough to get clarity about what you want.

 

From there, playing FWB games can be left in the kiddie sandbox where that belongs. Maturity requires self honesty, and once you get that, you won't be interested in anyone who doesn't own the same clarity.

 

Head high, and you'll thank yourself later.