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I think it is terrible that a parent would introduce a new partner to the children so early. You should not have been exposed to the kids before six months. Really bad judgement. Sadly, these kids will see a revolving door of men.

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So you were bringing this up in texts? I just wouldn't have done this with anything this serious and it tells me your need to know took priority over effective communication -which is what you were asking her to do -so you're asking her to communicate with you -but you're typing to her about a really sensitive topic. My point above was I statements. She never put an end date on it -because she knew she didn't know -which is not a good sign at all. So if you were done with the slowdown after a month then you could have told her -in person or at the very least on the phone - "I am no longer comfortable with how little we are seeing each other. If you are comfortable then perhaps it's a good idea for us to see other people because I don't feel we are on the same page."

 

You didn't need clarity from her -she told you she did not want to have sex anymore and didn't want to see you that often. That's pretty darn clear. Your need for clarity was about you - because you thought that somehow if you could take on the role of analyst/therapist and get her to reveal more specifics there would be some sort of recipe to get things back on track. But that's the point - there weren't specifics because she slowed things down really early on - before there was anything long term -not even close. She felt like she wanted space and she acted on those feelings. She didn't feel like having sex with you anymore so she acted on those feelings. Now she does feel like having sex with other people so she's acted on those feelings. But asking her for "reasons" or trying to diagnose her is not your place. Your place was to take it or leave it. Not tell her that she has to "communicate" why she is feeling the way she did -she probably didn't know. And she didn't know you well yet at all so your questions likely came across as quite intrusive.

 

I'm not saying you did anything wrong. The only thing that you did wrong was keep seeing her when she said she didn't want to have sex or see you that often. Even though she said "because I don't want to ruin it" because if that were true -her actions would have been consistent. Meaning - she would have kept dating you regularly - at least once or twice a week -and if she did want to stop intercourse she still would have been romantic and affectionate and wanting to kiss and touch you. That's "slowing down" by someone who is still into you. She just wanted to keep you around as an option especially since you were stepping up to the plate as insta-daddy -so she figured if she changed her mind she had someone ready to take on that role.

Again this wasn't a long term relationship. You met a stranger through an online site, had sex right away and were off to the races thinking that that new intensity and "clicking" foretells long term compatibility. So you had all these unrealistic expectations of what you "deserved" and analyzed it as if you had something serious and long term. Which you didn't.

No it wasn't just by text, when we spoke on the phone, I might for example ask if we could meet up next week .sometimes she would say yes other times she would say no.

Now this may sound like me trying to justify her actions but I think for sense of clarity it's worth explaining why else we didn't see each other that much.

When we first got together it was the initial lockdown here. We became a support bubble so spent a lot of time with each other. With the schools being closed she wasn't tied to a strict routine. Come September the kids are back to school and for her youngest 2. It's their first year. With their autism thiis meant for the first 2 weeks of term it was all a bit crazy. She had to go and pick up the little boy early quite often as he was having struggles.

Going forward he had to be put on an individual learning plan and they altered his timetable so he finished at 1130am each day.

This meant mon-fri became quite awkward for us to meet up. She lives about half hour away and if she was to come see me, she would pretty much be there for an hour before having to go and collect her other 2.

I work weekends so it often put pay to meeting up then too. So we would try and factor in meet ups during a weekend daytime that I wasn't working or a weekday where her youngest was in for the whole day.

 

Anyway...getting a bit sidetracked, in terms of intimacy, yes the sex had gone but she was still kissing me, hugging etc etc.

 

In terms of communication between us, it was daily and varied between text and call although towards the end it was more text based.

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I think it is terrible that a parent would introduce a new partner to the children so early. You should not have been exposed to the kids before six months. Really bad judgement. Sadly, these kids will see a revolving door of men.

I think that's partially why she stopped it happening. She rushed it and then thought afterwards about how much of a bad move it was.

To be honest I don't think they will. I was the first partne4 she has had since they have not been babies and with what she has to do each day for her kids, I'm sensing, in part that she has realised a full time relationship isn't gonna be easy to have.

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Additionally, and I'm so sorry for bombarding you guys but it really helps me get perspective- when we spoke aboit Xmas the talk naturally turned to seeing each other and gifts.

Every year she goes to her mum's for Xmas so I knew it would be unlikely we would see each other and with this year being my turn to have my kids at Xmas, I was accepting of the fact we may not see each other on the main parts of the holiday.

When it came to talk of gifts though she kept saying, "I don't like what you are spending on me, I can't match it." Now I hadn't spent a lot. I really hadn't, literally a couple of books she wanted, a perfume and a picture.

Now this to me spoke volumes of where she was at. I don't care much for gifts, I prefer to give than receive and told her I don't need/want anything, but the fact she kept being dismissive showed she was planning a way out. She just wasn't sure what to do.

Looking back I think I was mirroring her initial actions of being fully into things and it may have scared her off, alternatively with the issues with the kids, life was just too hectic for her and having me try to instigate meet ups or chats was just one more thing to add to her pile

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I think it is terrible that a parent would introduce a new partner to the children so early. You should not have been exposed to the kids before six months. Really bad judgement. Sadly, these kids will see a revolving door of men.

 

Yes. I agree.

I read most of what you wrote. Here's the bottom line -nothing to do with covid. She told you she didn't want to see you as much or keep having sex with you. Had she not said that and explained she'd love to see you but had covid concerns you wouldn't have needed reassurance as you did/kept asking her for timing, and to me covid of course would have been a real reason for a mom with young kids at home.

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Rb,

 

Everything you're feeling and going through is so natural. trying to make sense of it all. Replaying everything, looking for clues, explaining, and justifying.

 

I think everyone has been there at some point. And its the hardest part of moving on... Accepting the lesson in this situation.

 

I know... I had really tough break up. I could not let the guy go. I didn't keep contact or anything but he was in my thoughts for a very long time. And I wasn't meeting a lot of new guys. So it was like he was the last good man on earth and I blew it with him. he moved on with someone else. I was just beating myself up. should've, could've. would've....

 

But at the end it off all the ruminating thoughts, blaming me, blaming him, blaming the extenuating circumstances, it really comes down to this... relationships (all of them: romantic, platonic, family, colleagues) take both people working towards the same goals of the relationship together.

 

The lesson here is: you saw that things were lopsided between you and when that happens, you can't fix it by putting more in.

 

So you live, you learn, you dust yourself off. take time to be better to yourself. you're trying, you're kind, you're doing you're best and that is enough. Redirect your thoughts from the loss and move towards accepting the lesson. with thoughts that support that... I deserve good people in my life that value my feelings. If I see I'm not valued, I will leave. I'm enough on my own. and start thinking of all you're thankful for in your life.

 

This relationship was a mistake but the lesson is setting you up for better. Trust in that.

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Rb,

 

Everything you're feeling and going through is so natural. trying to make sense of it all. Replaying everything, looking for clues, explaining, and justifying.

 

I think everyone has been there at some point. And its the hardest part of moving on... Accepting the lesson in this situation.

 

I know... I had really tough break up. I could not let the guy go. I didn't keep contact or anything but he was in my thoughts for a very long time. And I wasn't meeting a lot of new guys. So it was like he was the last good man on earth and I blew it with him. he moved on with someone else. I was just beating myself up. should've, could've. would've....

 

But at the end it off all the ruminating thoughts, blaming me, blaming him, blaming the extenuating circumstances, it really comes down to this... relationships (all of them: romantic, platonic, family, colleagues) take both people working towards the same goals of the relationship together.

 

The lesson here is: you saw that things were lopsided between you and when that happens, you can't fix it by putting more in.

 

So you live, you learn, you dust yourself off. take time to be better to yourself. you're trying, you're kind, you're doing you're best and that is enough. Redirect your thoughts from the loss and move towards accepting the lesson. with thoughts that support that... I deserve good people in my life that value my feelings. If I see I'm not valued, I will leave. I'm enough on my own. and start thinking of all you're thankful for in your life.

 

This relationship was a mistake but the lesson is setting you up for better. Trust in that.

 

Thank you. I really appreciate your words.

 

I can't really describe what I'm feeling to be honest. I feel glad it's over as I wasn't happy yet I feel devastated I've lost her, I feel pleased I have new opportunities yet I feel sad I won't be chatting with her. Tomorrow is my bday and we were planning to all go out for dinner. It's the things like that they help me feel low.

The more I look at the way she has been, the more I think she was never into it but then I'm left pondering why wasn't I good enough.

 

In many of our early conversations both via text, over the phone and in person she was so into me and what would become of us that at first I thought I'd found someone obsessed with me and that's another reason I find myself overthinking. It just keeps leading me to, "what changed?"

I attempted to remain the same throughout whereas she changed and it was never explained why the change was happening

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So you're convinced if you were "good enough" she would have enthusiastically stayed in the relationship and would never have slowed down?

 

I guess so yes. If I was good enough for her she would have been happier and then it would have either progressed or slowed to a pace from which it can then pick back up again. Rather than what I encountered where it went fast-stop dead. I would have much preferred fast(as that's how it started)-slow-picking up the pace.

To be honest, the reasons she gave for ending it do kind of add up.

Too much going on in life,, struggling to handle it all etc etc.

I'm kind of understanding of that and ultimately I have to respect that.

I just don't know if I believe them.

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in some ways you answered your own question... its not that weren't good enough. that's you telling you, you aren't good enough. think of your past experiences. the women you broke up with or chose not to pursue. were they not good enough for you?

 

I venture to say no. that's not what it is. some people are better suited for other people. its a matter of how one sees their life playing out.. what makes someone a good fit has nothing to do with good versus not good.

 

I suspect that you might be feeling lonely. like you want a relationship and you are ready for that. so you will do what is needed to compromise and make things work.

 

That's actually a really good thing but you sense my but coming, right? You must reserve that for the woman that is mirroring it back to you.

 

Why was she so crazy for you in the beginning? because she doesn't really know what she wants. she wants a relationship until she gets one and then it's not the right one. she's lonely and bored just like everyone else. she was luke warm to you and you settled that. So she would use you when it felt like she liked you, then she pull away when you were around.

 

it's not you. it's her. you were trying to be the real deal to someone flaky. in truth she was not good enough for you.

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No, this didn't happen because you weren't "good enough".

 

Have you ever met a woman who was nice and pretty but you didn't feel attracted or intrigued enough to want a relationship with her? Did you tell yourself "nah, she's not GOOD ENOUGH for me!"

 

This happened because for whatever reason she didn't feel it was the right match. That has nothing to do with you not being "good enough".

 

That kind of thinking is self-destructive.

 

It wasn't the right match. Period, end of.

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Why in the world would you want to be with someone who was obsessed with you??

 

Maybe that was too strong a word....I just mean someone that really really likes me and made so much effort to see me, chat with me. Everything was so positive from her.

I understand everything people are saying about her having a change of heart etc. I get that. It's just again, it doesn't make enough sense to me.

1-becaise why did she string it out so much longer

2-why did she not explain any of that to me so that we could either walk away or work on it

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It wasn't the right match. Period, end of.

 

This. The feelings are complex, I know, and painful to experience. But that doesn't mean you need to make the story complicated where it's not. Go too far down that path and it's a bit like trying to treat a small cut with a machete.

 

In your shoes right now I'd try to spend a few honest minutes with yourself trying to separate all the meaning you ascribed to this woman/relationship from what it actually was.

 

Good spark, good sex, lofty professions, hanging with kids, the potential of a blended family: I can see the appeal in all that, as it's beautiful stuff. But in reality all that was slipping through your fingers almost as fast as the sand was poured, so to speak. Sucks. Hurts. But there is a great lesson in learning to accept that, in real time, rather than try to will reality into a state that matches our imaginations.

 

Sitting here in the bleacher seats, I can't help but think your present feelings are being stirred less by her, and this loss, than by some deeper waters inside you, some deeper losses. Do you feel guilt about your relationship with your child's mother ending, for instance? Guilt about how co-parenting has gone, is going? Guilt or shame about not yet "figuring out" this whole business of love and partnership? I'm shooting in the dark a bit, but I ask that because it seems you put a lot of weight, here, on being a father-like figure, took a lot of comfort in being a Great Man in this woman's eyes, in the eyes of children you hardly know.

 

Hence you now feeling "not enough" as her eyes move elsewhere—a feeling that might be more of a preexisting condition, so to speak, than a symptom of this union crumbling. Exploring all that is hardly easy, I know, but it may prove to be a little bit of light in this dark, putting you on a path toward building something with stronger materials.

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This. The feelings are complex, I know, and painful to experience. But that doesn't mean you need to make the story complicated where it's not. Go too far down that path and it's a bit like trying to treat a small cut with a machete.

 

In your shoes right now I'd try to spend a few honest minutes with yourself trying to separate all the meaning you ascribed to this woman/relationship from what it actually was.

 

Good spark, good sex, lofty professions, hanging with kids, the potential of a blended family: I can see the appeal in all that, as it's beautiful stuff. But in reality all that was slipping through your fingers almost as fast as the sand was poured, so to speak. Sucks. Hurts. But there is a great lesson in learning to accept that, in real time, rather than try to will reality into a state that matches our imaginations.

 

Sitting here in the bleacher seats, I can't help but think your present feelings are being stirred less by her, and this loss, than by some deeper waters inside you, some deeper losses. Do you feel guilt about your relationship with your child's mother ending, for instance? Guilt about how co-parenting has gone, is going? Guilt or shame about not yet "figuring out" this whole business of love and partnership? I'm shooting in the dark a bit, but I ask that because it seems you put a lot of weight, here, on being a father-like figure, took a lot of comfort in being a Great Man in this woman's eyes, in the eyes of children you hardly know.

 

Hence you now feeling "not enough" as her eyes move elsewhere—a feeling that might be more of a preexisting condition, so to speak, than a symptom of this union crumbling. Exploring all that is hardly easy, I know, but it may prove to be a little bit of light in this dark, putting you on a path toward building something with stronger materials.

 

That could be exactly it.

I know if I made a list of the good and bad points, the bad would definitely outweigh the good right now.

I spent a lot of time since the "it's going too fast " chat concerned about what was going to happen. Clearly not a good position for me to keep myself in.

I spent multiple days wondering when we would next hang out, if she would answer the phone if I called etc etc. Definitely not the foundations of a great relationship!

I think I just blinded myself with memories of the past and hoping that it would return to the present.

 

You are a little right about the guilt. Being around her kids did make me feel like I was a complete family again and the love and attention I felt.from her kids was way more than I could have expected. Especially when she first said to me, "I'm worried about the kids reaction, I have to put them first and if they are uncomfortable then I can't do this"

She was amazed at how easily we all clicked and found it amazing that her kids were comfortable with me right off the bat.

 

Ultimately not knowing why she wanted to slow, why it never picked back up and why in her eyes I wasn't the one for her plague my mind more

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Maybe that was too strong a word....I just mean someone that really really likes me and made so much effort to see me, chat with me. Everything was so positive from her.

I understand everything people are saying about her having a change of heart etc. I get that. It's just again, it doesn't make enough sense to me.

1-becaise why did she string it out so much longer

2-why did she not explain any of that to me so that we could either walk away or work on it

 

Because people move towards pleasure and away from pain. It was easier for her to keep you as a back up plan. Often changes of heart don't make sense especially because the person may have been considering it for longer -in your case not much longer because you slept together as soon as you met then within 2 months she wasn't that into you. Does it make sense to you -if you think about it -why you stayed as long as you did other than "because I loved her"?

I wrote above it's quite probable she didn't explain because there was nothing to explain beyond what she told you -she told you that she felt she wanted to be apart from you a lot more and not have sex with you. Maybe she didn't know why. Also because she really didn't date you that long so it's not like an LTR where if there is a change of heart you spend the time -on your own -getting to the bottom of it- because it's worth working toward a possible reason that can then be resolved. She'd invested almost no time in your new relationship so even as a reflex it probably wasn't worth thinking about the "why".

 

 

Very often matters of the heart do not make sense. But typically people move towards pleasure and away from pain.

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I dated a guy for nearly a year before he told me he "wasn't feeling it". We spent every weekend together, we traveled together, I met his parents and siblings and friends, he came to my family Easter dinner, he met my kids (only once, and only to attend an event, otherwise I kept him away from them), and yet he "wasn't feeling it".

 

Now, I could have spent a lot of time ruminating over "why" I "wasn't good enough". But I never thought I "wasn't good enough" for him. I figured that for whatever reason, he just didn't feel the same way I did. And he too was super hot in the beginning. He couldn't stand to be seated apart from me and grinned happily as he sat down after getting a snack or whatever, putting his arm around me and hugging me all the time. He wanted me with him everywhere he went, but after a couple of months his behavior cooled down considerably. He didn't say he wanted to stop seeing me but he definitely wasn't as enthused as he'd been in the beginning. That's why when he finally told me I wasn't that surprised. I'd seen the signs.

 

So, after a few months I started dating someone else. And interestingly enough, with the next man I was the one who "wasn't feeling it". I just couldn't get that into him. Why? Lots of reasons, but he was not the right one for me and I knew it. And I never thought "Oh, he's not GOOD ENOUGH for me!" I just thought, well, I don't feel the way I should about someone I was in a relationship with. And this was after a bit over a year. He never spent time around my kids, BTW.

 

So yeah, this happens. No bad guy, no good guy, this is just how dating goes.

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All right RB. Let me try.

 

It doesn't make sense to you.

 

"1-becaise why did she string it out so much longer

2-why did she not explain any of that to me so that we could either walk away or work on it"

 

Human beings are all too often not very logical creatures, and all too often make no sense, even to themselves. They can do things unthinkingly, which may simply be convenient for them at the time. Not that many people are coherent in thought or action. That's how it is RB.

 

Indeed, on reflection, there are so many who don't even THINK!

Edited by LaHermes
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I dated a guy for nearly a year before he told me he "wasn't feeling it". We spent every weekend together, we traveled together, I met his parents and siblings and friends, he came to my family Easter dinner, he met my kids (only once, and only to attend an event, otherwise I kept him away from them), and yet he "wasn't feeling it".

 

Now, I could have spent a lot of time ruminating over "why" I "wasn't good enough". But I never thought I "wasn't good enough" for him. I figured that for whatever reason, he just didn't feel the same way I did. And he too was super hot in the beginning. He couldn't stand to be seated apart from me and grinned happily as he sat down after getting a snack or whatever, putting his arm around me and hugging me all the time. He wanted me with him everywhere he went, but after a couple of months his behavior cooled down considerably. He didn't say he wanted to stop seeing me but he definitely wasn't as enthused as he'd been in the beginning. That's why when he finally told me I wasn't that surprised. I'd seen the signs.

 

So, after a few months I started dating someone else. And interestingly enough, with the next man I was the one who "wasn't feeling it". I just couldn't get that into him. Why? Lots of reasons, but he was not the right one for me and I knew it. And I never thought "Oh, he's not GOOD ENOUGH for me!" I just thought, well, I don't feel the way I should about someone I was in a relationship with. And this was after a bit over a year. He never spent time around my kids, BTW.

 

So yeah, this happens. No bad guy, no good guy, this is just how dating goes.

 

Similar story but it was 5 months not a year. Totally into me from the get go (he was my friend's older brother and we'd known each other as friends for about a year before we started dating -I was in my mid 30s and he was 40). Wanted me to meet everyone, comments about marriage, a future, kids. Ended things cause he wasn't feeling it. Then he wanted to keep hooking up. I did -twice -not sex though. He hurt his knee and had surgery. He called me and joked about how I could play Nurse. I said (half jokingly) - well look, your knee is bad so I won't come over till it's healed and you can get down on one knee"

 

What happened with him? He was a confirmed bachelor as they used to say -never had a truly serious relationship. Many partners. 5 months after me he met the love of his life through a dating site. They got engaged and married 1.5 years later. He would contact me now and again - skirting the lines of appropriate, implying things weren't all rosy, flirtatious. I ignored it. Last I know he is still married (15 years) and I used to be in regular touch with my original friend- his brother - and never ever mentioned him (my ex called me after I was married and had the baby to congratulate me and again his email was a bit nebulous as to whether he was happy etc).

My point is I actually never considered that I wasn't good enough for him. Even though his wife is prettier than me. Even though I'm not the most secure person. I just figured he wasn't in love with me, actually never was and I moved on ASAP because my biological clock was ticking ticking ticking (My Cousin Vinny reference).

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Thanks again all,

 

Everything you say makes sense and the more I read, the more it does open my eyes to how I've dealt with this.

Just a few issues pop into my mind everynow and then.

 

It's tricky for me as I appreciate it all, I just can't see beyond (and I really don't know why) the initial highs and it still seems to be that that is pulling me down.

Asking me to stay at hers, telling me how nobody has ever looked after her or her kids like I have , all that type of stuff thatt makes you feel amazing and that you are making someone as well as yourself happy.

Literally the day before she said it was too fast, she was talking about us taking the kids camping as hers had never been before. Then brakes on!!!

 

So it came as a shock and from then I tried extra hard which as many of you say probably came across as smothering. We still had good moments during this time, went out for dinner a few times, her coming to mine but you could tell it was 90% me and 10% her in terms of effort .

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Look RB. Certain types of poison can also make one feel amazing (temporarily).

 

" ....telling me how nobody has ever looked after her or her kids like I have , all that type of stuff thatt makes you feel amazing and that you are making someone as well as yourself happy."

 

You have no idea how many people talk off the top of their head.

 

Maybe I am wrong, but I get a feeling that she is talking "scripted" , not much substance behind the words, just something to say in that moment.

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Yes, I will repeat here that the first two months especially if sex happens right away and the hormones are raging things often feel like cloud nine, things are said that feel like cloud nine, and actions are consistent perhaps but those actions are easy because it is very short term and during the high. The guy I mentioned above planned a get away for my birthday about a week before he ended things.

 

You should never have to try extra hard to convince someone to want to be with you. You shouldn't even have to try hard. You shouldn't even have to try with the rare exception that it's natural if you've done someone wrong to apologize and try to make it up to them in a sincere way -that extra effort.

 

Good moments are easy. Going out to dinner a few times is lovely. Mostly irrelevant to long term compatibility.

 

I'm sorry again it did not work out.

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The guy I mentioned acted absolutely nuts about me in the first couple of months. That's because he didn't know me. He saw me, thought I was attractive and fun and wanted to see me more. But after a couple of months he realized he wasn't as into me as he felt he should have been. He said he didn't feel particularly disappointed if he didn't get to see me, for example. And he felt he should have missed me when I wasn't with him and he didn't.

 

Again, I did nothing wrong. He told me I did nothing wrong. He just didn't feel the same way I did about him.

 

Decide how long you want to remain fixated on how things were in the beginning. Because at some point it's a choice. Staying fixated, ruminating, keeping yourself mentally in the relationship even though she no longer is, it's all something you can choose to move past. It does nothing to help you but rather keeps you stuck.

 

It's OK to feel sad, totally normal, totally understandable. But at some point you will want to decide you've had enough of feeling like this and you'll start moving forward.

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The guy I mentioned acted absolutely nuts about me in the first couple of months. That's because he didn't know me. He saw me, thought I was attractive and fun and wanted to see me more. But after a couple of months he realized he wasn't as into me as he felt he should have been. He said he didn't feel particularly disappointed if he didn't get to see me, for example. And he felt he should have missed me when I wasn't with him and he didn't.

 

Again, I did nothing wrong. He told me I did nothing wrong. He just didn't feel the same way I did about him.

 

Decide how long you want to remain fixated on how things were in the beginning. Because at some point it's a choice. Staying fixated, ruminating, keeping yourself mentally in the relationship even though she no longer is, it's all something you can choose to move past. It does nothing to help you but rather keeps you stuck.

 

It's OK to feel sad, totally normal, totally understandable. But at some point you will want to decide you've had enough of feeling like this and you'll start moving forward.

 

Thanks once again, I totally totally get everything you are saying.

My thing just seems to be, I don't get why it had to slow, what prompted it when she seemed so happy, why did it never pick back up despite her saying it would.

I partly feel responsible for not letting it progress by asking her if it ever would but at the same time I couldn't do any more or any less as we weren't seeing each other loads or anything!

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