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I don't know what to do. I'm hurting


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I don't know where else to go, or who to speak to. Covid has me laid off so spending money on a therapist isn't financially smart. I love who I thought was the love of my life. The timing was just not right, we met when I was trying to be the person I want to be. we just broke up but we still love each other. She was feeling depressed and wasn't happy because she felt she was unable to be herself or to her best version. She's trying to make it on her own as an entrepreneur and while I always supported her she just didn't know how to balance love and what she thought the obligations of love was with trying to pursue her dreams. We started off as friends and connected and fell so fast for each other.

 

I feel so sad and so broken today. Every day I miss her. is there something that can just numb this pain please? I found her tumblr which I hadn't visited in a long time. She had given me a hint to that she tends to post her raw self and post on there. And there it was seeing that she misses me so much and still loves me. But knows that we have to go our separate paths. and that she hopes to reconnect with me because she believes our love was one of a kind.

 

I'm not the person I want to be right now, and I need to work on myself to. And then maybe who knows. but holding on to hope like that probably isn't healthy so I am trying to let it go.

 

But today is just to much. I can't work, I can't think, I can't do anything. I feel like I have no one to talk to because she was my best friend and I used to talk to her.

 

I don't know what I hope to accomplish here but I just needed to do or say something about it in hopes it helps.

 

Thank you

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I am sorry you are in so much pain. Losing a partner is also losing a best friend... hang in there.

 

What to do... there is very little to do.. except to keep realizing that it didn't work. Eventually one day the clouds will part and you'll start to feel better. Till then, you can write or vent as you need here also. You're not alone.

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Look up ways to grieve your loss, like writing your thoughts down in a journal. Do not isolate yourself. Interact with friends or family, but just normally talk about other things with them. Having a good cry once in awhile helps to release. Exercise, go for walks, enjoy the Christmas lights. Do something good for someone else, like donate your time to help someone out, start a food donation box at work for the food bank, and get others involved. Baby steps, one day at a time.

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Awww, I am so sorry you're going through this. I echo what smackie said, grieve as this is a huge loss to you. Grief can take time, but find ways too to move forward in a healthy way.

 

Don't isolate, try to still connect with family and friends, even if it's over cam or chatting via online.

 

Be gentle with yourself, but don't give up. It's a trying time, for sure, but it won't last forever.

 

Keep posting your thoughts on here so someone can hear you and help you or just listen. Yes, definitely one day at a time.

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