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That's tough. I'm not sure how you reverse that compulsion to think or do those things. Would it help to think of things in a state of equilibrium of sorts? So you have these addictive and obsessive thoughts believing that he may be doing something behind your back. The counter to that is... well, so what?

 

It's the 'so what' that would turn the thought process of constantly thinking negative things or self-sabotaging for me. You seem to have him on a huge pedestal too. "He's so open like nothing I've ever experienced" but no one is perfect or great all the time. People do have flaws, they forget things, sometimes they get tired, upset or they just don't feel themselves. Imho, you have him too much on a pedestal to think clearly and as a result you're also putting so much pressure on yourself to prove to yourself that you deserve him.

 

I'd take back all of that, rewind, dial it down and just practice the 'so what' mentality. He may be a very good partner but I don't think you need to wind yourself up like this.

 

 

Thank you! This is something I will try. I do have those moments of "so what" and I think you're right about the pedestal! I'll try and let you know how it goes! Thanks!

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The first step in fixing a problem is identifying it which you have done. Just because you know what is broken on your car doesn't mean you know how to fix it right? This is no different.

 

This is where a therapist would be of great help. You know what the problem is so you could literally sit down and tell them I need help with XYZ. Barring that keep posting, there are a lot of people on here that have either been through what you are going through or have helped others in your situation.

 

If you do not feel secure in the relationship or any relationship then these things will continue to creep in. Figure out when you first started having these issues and that could be a good starting point to conquering them.

 

Keep posting

 

Lost

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The first step in fixing a problem is identifying it which you have done. Just because you know what is broken on your car doesn't mean you know how to fix it right? This is no different.

 

This is where a therapist would be of great help. You know what the problem is so you could literally sit down and tell them I need help with XYZ. Barring that keep posting, there are a lot of people on here that have either been through what you are going through or have helped others in your situation.

 

If you do not feel secure in the relationship or any relationship then these things will continue to creep in. Figure out when you first started having these issues and that could be a good starting point to conquering them.

 

Keep posting

 

Lost

 

 

Hello everyone, Had a much better week this week, someone reccommended a book called why do i do it? It just arrived today! Thanks everyone and I will keep you updated, if you're interested haha

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