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How to approach him after six months no contact?? 😯😮


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I have no idea why you're still bothering with this. 

With respect, do you have many friends to talk to? People in your real life that you engage with? (even digitally, given the pandemic)

Not men that you talk to online, but real friendships and connections of substance? 

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I think you have to video call him. It doesn't look like he's going to budge on that. But keep in mind, there's no guarantee that anything you do will "turn this around." There's not a whole lot

You interrogated him about whether he's dating or talking to anyone else. Why do you feel you have the right to know that? You two are not dating. I would presume that's why he stopped responding

Maybe this friend liked you?  As for OLD guy.... I don't know. If you guys were really interested in meeting, you would have. If you reach out or rather I'll put it this way...   What would I d

Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

I have no idea why you're still bothering with this. 

With respect, do you have many friends to talk to? People in your real life that you engage with? (even digitally, given the pandemic)

Not men that you talk to online, but real friendships and connections of substance? 

Yes. My whole life I've dedicated  to friends n work n everything else other than dating.

And most of those female friends focus more on their other halves now.

So actually im doing the same...focusing on the dating aspect of things. As disastrous as it may come across

I don't  really understand the assumptions made.

Edited by nicole92
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1 minute ago, nicole92 said:

I don't  really understand the sssumptions made.

Because people with full and enriching lives don't generally waste their time on such dead-end things. 

This isn't dating. 

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7 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Because people with full and enriching lives don't generally waste their time on such dead-end things. 

This isn't dating. 

Thats far too judgemental. 

Actually you'll find now more than ever...people are on apps..ive seen more new people (men) joined up to the apps than i have in a long time

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20 minutes ago, nicole92 said:

 

Him: i hope you dont  Take it the wrong way i just dont see it going anywhere 

Hopefully you find the right person for you.

 

Personally, I would have ended the conversation right here.

Then unmatched, deleted and blocked him  from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Don't chase uninterested people. It's nerve-wracking and wastes time you could devote to talking to and meeting interested men.

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Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Personally, I would have ended the conversation right here.

Then unmatched, deleted and blocked him  from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Don't chase uninterested people. It's nerve-wracking and wastes time you could devote to talking to and meeting interested men.

Fair enough and i usually don't but given the context and all thats happened before i don't think hes uninterested....maybe more wary/untrusting thinking im not real etc etc.

Because if you see all i replied to that was.  

You were fine a day ago.. and why is that...and then he asked what do you genuinely want (i.e what im looking for). Because he always assumed i was wasting his time before.

N when i told him i was wanting to meet  before lockdown happened but didnt get round to getting in contact etc...his tone changed. 

 

Edited by nicole92
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Just now, nicole92 said:

Fair enough and i usually don't but given the context and all thats happened before i don't think hes uninterested....maybe more wary/untrusting thinking im not real etc etc.

Because if you see all i replied to that was. ...

You were fine a day ago.. and why is that?...and then he asked what do you genuinely want (i.e what im looking for). Because he always assumed i was wasting his time before.

N when i told him i was wanting to meet before the lockdown occurred ...his tone changed completely 

 

 

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Well, good job making contact. Looks like you survived.

38 minutes ago, nicole92 said:

You do need to get  in touch with your feelings a bit more though. ( because he usually never says how anything makes him feel..hes very just matter of fact).

I think he has told you how exactly he feels, and I think his feelings are appropriate and proportionate to the situation:

  • He prefers phone calls and would like to video chat.
  • He thinks you're a nervous person.
  • He thinks doesn't know what you want from him.
  • He doubts that there is a future between him and you.

What more do you expect from him in terms of feelings?

You've never met; he's probably not going to open a vein.

Edited by Jibralta
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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Well, good job making contact. Looks like you survived.

I think he has told you how exactly he feels, and I think his feelings are appropriate and proportionate to the situation:

  • He prefers phone calls and would like to video chat.
  • He thinks you're a nervous person.
  • He thinks doesn't know what you want from him.
  • He doubts that there is a future between him and you.

What more do you expect from him in terms of feelings?

You've never met; he's probably not going to open a vein.

Fair. I guess that sums it up and yes i did survive 😂😂

Well i want to turn the situation around and not have him view me with side eyes all the time.

He clearly noticed i wasnt around as he kept bringing up how i went off the radar and basically had a go at me. 

Edited by nicole92
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Just now, nicole92 said:

Well i want to turn the situation around.

I think you have to video call him. It doesn't look like he's going to budge on that.

But keep in mind, there's no guarantee that anything you do will "turn this around." There's not a whole lot to "this" to begin with.

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Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I think you have to video call him. It doesn't look like he's going to budge on that.

But keep in mind, there's no guarantee that anything you do will "turn this around." There's not a whole lot to "this" to begin with.

Oh mann. I really dont like video calls as catfishy as that comes across to him.

🤦‍♀️. I hate how hes equating  that with im automatically a catfish. 

Ive met up with people from the app before with just one or two simple photos and a phonecall..even just text messages

 

Edited by nicole92
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You interrogated him about whether he's dating or talking to anyone else. Why do you feel you have the right to know that? You two are not dating.

I would presume that's why he stopped responding.

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

You interrogated him about whether he's dating or talking to anyone else. Why do you feel you have the right to know that? You two are not dating.

Yeah, exactly. 

You asked questions are that none of your business, OP. I wouldn't have replied to those, either. 

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Posted (edited)
On 1/7/2021 at 4:17 PM, boltnrun said:

You interrogated him about whether he's dating or talking to anyone else. Why do you feel you have the right to know that? You two are not dating.

I would presume that's why he stopped responding.

Because when we would talk back in the day he would ask me questions like that ALL the time. Also of people are going to invest their time into someone i dont see the problem in asking such questions. 

And he did reply. He asked me the same question back to me  before answering...i said people want to get toknow me but its not mutual..i asked him and he said obviously people want to know him too. 😂 even though earlier he said he was busy with family and hadn't focused on dating.

And i then asked anyone he would put a ring on

 He replied no. And asked me why i chose to speak to him above the others.

 

And so the conversation is continuing 

 

 

Edited by nicole92
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On 1/7/2021 at 5:49 AM, nicole92 said:

Him: i hope you dont  Take it the wrong way i just dont see it going anywhere 

This is hopeless, I feel  :(.  Why continue with this one, as he's plain out told you the truth.. PLUS, you said he was rude & blunt?  

Again.. why bother?

Just don't look at him for anything.  :/ 

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10 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

This is hopeless, I feel  :(.  Why continue with this one, as he's plain out told you the truth.. PLUS, you said he was rude & blunt?  

Again.. why bother?

Just don't look at him for anything.  😕

Because i know why he said it. Cos of everything that happened before like him thinking  i was using him as a texting buddy  etc...but then when i asked him why...he was like what do you want from me..and then i explained how my intentions have always beenn legitimate ( because he didnt believe it before) to which he replied he always thought i just wanted to be messaging mindlessly..as in i was a timewaster.

So i sort of am trying to change it for the better

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Alrighty.. well is your choice... go for it.

But if he distances himself again.. for his own reasons, will be a clear indication, he's not into it.

Just be ready, since this all seemed like a rocky start.

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12 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

Alrighty.. well is your choice... go for it.

But if he distances himself again.. for his own reasons, will be a clear indication, he's not into it.

Just be ready, since this all seemed like a rocky start.

Yeah fair enough.

Hence im keeping my options open lol.

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Posted (edited)

 

Hes been messaging me frequently and in an engaging way the last few days. 

Yesterday  night he asked me how i am and how my days been at 9pm. And made a joke like I've got great senses ( as i had a good insight into how he is as a person etc)..

I didnt message till this afternoon and said hi my day was good hows your weekend? 

He replied pretty quick....

Out of nowhere his tones totally changed and he's said hes finished work now. Anyway  i dont want to take  this any further goodbye. 

Its like he just came out of work and decided to message me that?

He was probably  stressed from work i dunno and fed up maybe...and then sees my message joking around not taking anything  seriously.

But still. Wow.

I am definitely  disappointed.

I've  still got his number  but i don't  want to call him... and annoy him further 

 

 

Edited by nicole92
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22 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

Alrighty.. well is your choice... go for it.

But if he distances himself again.. for his own reasons, will be a clear indication, he's not into it.

Just be ready, since this all seemed like a rocky start.

Read the recent update 😪😢😭

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56 minutes ago, nicole92 said:

Out of nowhere his tones totally changed and he's said hes finished work now. Anyway  i dont want to take  this any further goodbye. 

There's your definitive answer. 

Don't contact him again. 

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1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

Well, that sucks. But at least you can move on now, knowing that you tried.

I suppose.

But for whatever  reason i feel terribly bad.

I think I've always been someone who acts too late. Or when the person has fully decided to give up i then realise what I've done or how ive pushed them away 

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3 hours ago, nicole92 said:

I've  still got his number  but i don't  want to call him... and annoy him further 

Nope.. his attitude/ response says enough 😞 .

No more time wasted... find someone out there who does appreciate you.  Believe  :) 

 

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