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Why does he still check my instagram?!


LastHope

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Basically I met this boy through my friend, who is his flatmate.

 

I met him on his own 4 times after meeting him at a party. We were supposed to go on a date but he cancelled the date and he invited me to his the following week. After that, he only invited me over his. Never out. We spoke almost every day. After the 4th time seeing him, I asked if he actually wanted to go out and do something and then he replied saying he doesn't want to lead me on (bit late for that).

 

Anyway, the following week I was with my friend and he turned up, he was talking, said hi etc and then was all over one of the girls we were with. I was trying to pretend it didn't bother me, but when we went back to another friends house, he slept with the girl when I was in the next room! I went home after that. I was so hurt.

 

First off this is morally wrong for him to do that, when he knew I liked and it was only a week previous I stayed with him.

 

I messaged him the next day saying it was messed up what he done. He read my message and ignored me. Not an apology nothing. Not heard from him since and that was a month ago. I unfollowed him on instagram but he still follows me and watches all my stories, why?!

 

I was out the other night and bumped into my friend. We sat together at the table and he was there. I never looked in his direction, never spoke to him at all and he never spoke to me. Not even hi. After he left. I saw that he had watched all my stories I had posted from after he left.

 

So my question is why? Why is he still watching my stories (and still following me), when it's clear I dislike him and won't be speaking to him?! I find it strange that even after sitting at the same table and denying his existance of being there, he is still watching all my stuff. He clearly doesn't like me or he wouldn't have hurt me like that.

 

Baffled.

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The reason he still looks at your Instagram is simply because he can.

Nothing odd about that at all really. He likely is looking at everyone’s Instagram.

If you don’t want him casually looking at Instagram stories on his feed then don’t be on his feed.

 

How was he supposed to know that you like him?

You went over to his place 4 times without a date organised. That doesn’t tell him you like him? That simply tells him you are willing to hook up with no effort on his behalf?

 

“We were supposed to go on a date but he cancelled the date and he invited me to his the following week. After that, he only invited me over his. Never out. We spoke almost every day. After the 4th time seeing him, I asked if he actually wanted to go out and do something and then he replied saying he doesn't want to lead me on (bit late for that).”

 

Sorry but he didn’t lead you on.

He never committed to leaving his bedroom to see you.

 

In future respect yourself a little more .

You didn’t like him. You didn’t even know him.

He didn’t know you either. And didn’t try to.

Just like this other random chick.

 

Block him and move on. Nothing to lose.

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To be honest he sounds like a player and someone that doesn't really respect women. I don't think he's looking for a relationship and he only wants sex. I think you absolutely did the right thing that you unfollowed him on social media and you don't speak to him anymore. I would actually recommend that you also block him on everything. This doesn't seem like a person worth knowing who actually cares about the feelings of the women he's hooking up with. I recommend next time to be careful and if a guy only wants you to come to his place, no dates , that means he just wants sex. If you don't just want sex then don't bother with guys like this.

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He is basically told you he doesnt want to date you.

You need to accept that and move on in life.

Block and delete him for now. You sound like you have caught up some feelings for him. Take time off from instagram if you think that would help.

Focus on yourself and your growth.

Someday the right person will come along, work on being a better version of who you are right now.

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There is nothing to be baffled about. Unlike you, he isn't particularly bothered about the whole situation. Hence, he is treating your stories like flipping the pages of a sports magazine, so to speak.

 

Next time around, don't have sex with a guy without first determining whether you both want the same things or not. People can't read your mind and players take advantage of murky situations. It's on you to express and protect your boundaries. When asked, he did state his mind and then proceeded accordingly. Your mistake was not making sure that you are on the same page before having sex. He IS a player but you also accommodated him. This was a valuable lesson though. Learn it and then move on.

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I'm getting the impression that you're looking for a hidden meaning as to why he continues to follow you on Instagram. The bottom line there is, if he wanted to be with you, he would.

 

No offense, but you sold yourself short after agreeing to go to his home, (a stranger) instead of meeting in public, he saw you as an easy mark, (imo). Either way, I'd take it as a lesson learned, along with placing a higher value on yourself.

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First off this is morally wrong for him to do that, when he knew I liked and it was only a week previous I stayed with him.

 

Another lesson to take out of this might be that not all people have the same moral standards and that assuming that they do is likely to land you in a world of disappointment. What is "morally wrong" according to you may not be "morally wrong" according to the person you are dealing with. One could argue that he did make himself clear when you actually asked him and that, past the stated end of any kind of relationship/situationship, there is no "moral" obligation to wait out any amount of time before moving on to the next person. If we were to go down a "moral" approach like the one you have in mind, one could also argue that your choice to sleep with someone you had only met a couple of times (i.e. solely based on superficial standards such as looks/"hotness", without bothering to take the time to get to know his real character/personal moral code and whether you were on the same page) was not "moral" either. You sound young and it's ok to make mistakes. This was a valuable lesson. Try not to feel bad about it but do learn from it.

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