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Hey everyone.

My boyfriend and I always have arguments about Instagram. He just has multiple accounts of girls in the area he’s following along with Instagram models. There are even accounts of like hottest girls on the gram amount other questionable accounts. He tells me he followed them all when he was single. It just bothers me because I don’t want to be married to someone who is going to always be looking at other girls online. I’m not sure what to do. He has unfollowed some after we talked but there is just so much on there still... he doesn’t view it the same way as me. I believe you should be loyal in all forms in a relationship but he says why isn’t it enough that I love you. This is always a stupid thing to fight about too... Please give me your input.

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I don't think it's stupid at all. What you are finding out is that you and him don't share the same values and relationship boundaries. Basically, he cares more about IG than you and your relationship. Pay attention to that, stop arguing and decide - either you are going to roll over and accept this and stop all arguments or you need to dump him because this really isn't acceptable to you. You are not going to change him or force him to respect you.

 

If it was really just a thing while he was single, he'd have no problem unfollowing and there would be no arguments about that because he wouldn't care. Problem is that he cares enough to risk losing you. That's a huge red flag when you are thinking marriage and long term partner.

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He's not the right one for you. It shouldn't be something you have to argue about and it isn't stupid if it bothers you. Just walk away and don't date men who have 'hottest girls on the gram'. These are likely signs that he hasn't grown up or doesn't share the same values you do. If you're not looking for a casual relationship, don't act like one.

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This is so tough. I believe social media is the devil for relationships. Funny half the girls he is looking at probably don’t look like that in real life. He is obviously not going to stop. Maybe you could view them together. This way it is not in secret what he does. This is so tough. I think it’s hard to say leave him. If you can’t live with this, then you know what to do

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Sorry to hear that. How long have you been dating? How old is he? Unfortunately what you see is what you get. Do not act jealous or talk at him about it again. This just further inflates his ego.

 

Best thing to do is delete and block him/all of his accounts from ALL your social media with no explanation. Why be associated publicly with a horndog?

 

Action is the way to go, talking at him about insecurities, etc., is a very weak and easy to ignore position. In his horny mind 'it's your problem', don't feed that type of nonsense.

He just has multiple accounts of girls in the area he’s following along with Instagram models.

 

He has unfollowed some after we talked but there is just so much on there still... he doesn’t view it the same way as me. I believe you should be loyal in all forms in a relationship but he says why isn’t it enough that I love you.

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We have been together for a little over a year. He’s 27. He recently unfollowed over a hundred which showed he was trying. But there is still quite a few... he is a really good guy. I told him his Instagram makes him look like a pig even though he isn’t in real life.. we both really love each other but this has always been an argument.

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He's not the right one for you. It shouldn't be something you have to argue about and it isn't stupid if it bothers you. Just walk away and don't date men who have 'hottest girls on the gram'. These are likely signs that he hasn't grown up or doesn't share the same values you do. If you're not looking for a casual relationship, don't act like one.

 

Thank you, Rose.

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We have been together for a little over a year. He’s 27. He recently unfollowed over a hundred which showed he was trying. But there is still quite a few... he is a really good guy. I told him his Instagram makes him look like a pig even though he isn’t in real life.. we both really love each other but this has always been an argument.

 

Character is when a person is very decent, loyal, honorable, devoted, moral and possesses integrity when you're not looking over his shoulder.

 

Love does not conquer all, unfortunately. CHARACTER does matter because it's the only thing that endures.

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Character is when a person is very decent, loyal, honorable, devoted, moral and possesses integrity when you're not looking over his shoulder.

 

Love does not conquer all, unfortunately. CHARACTER does matter because it's the only thing that endures.

 

^This. It not what he does in front of you that you should worry about, it's what he does behind your back.

 

You are also a bit in denial. If it wasn't real, why ask him to delete and tell him he looks like a pig (accurate btw). It is real and it obviously bothers you. I'm guessing your gut is ringing some major alarm bells, but you are invested, so it's hard to make that call and walk away.

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That's just gross -I don't even know if I'd want to be close friends with someone with those sorts of values. I'm sure he objectifies women in other ways too. I think he should be with someone who has the same kind of habits on IG or social media. It's not social media that's the issue- it's how he uses it.

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^This. It not what he does in front of you that you should worry about, it's what he does behind your back.

 

You are also a bit in denial. If it wasn't real, why ask him to delete and tell him he looks like a pig (accurate btw). It is real and it obviously bothers you. I'm guessing your gut is ringing some major alarm bells, but you are invested, so it's hard to make that call and walk away.

 

Thank you.

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Why are you arguing with him?

He is who he is and you are who you are.

If you don’t like who he is , then stop dating him.

It is actually that simple.

 

“ I don’t want to be married to someone who is going to always be looking at other girls online”

 

He hasn’t asked you to marry him , so it’s not like you are having to make that decision?

And to try change someone to be who you want to date will only ever be a short lived change just to appease you.

 

Bottom line is you don’t love him. You love some ideal which he doesn’t fit.

 

There are girls out there who won’t care about his Instagram and will be a better match for him.

There are also guys out there who will be a better match for you. Guys that aren’t Instagram followers.

 

So be kind to him and yourself.

And let each other go.

 

Good luck!

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If he looks like a pig that is who he is in real life.

 

What you are seeing is the tip of the iceberg. His deleting stuff is just a game to patronize you.

 

The best way out of this heartache and disrespect is to end it.

 

Playing bad-little-boy and social media police is not a relationship.

We have been together for a little over a year. He’s 27. He recently unfollowed over a hundred which showed he was trying. But there is still quite a few... he is a really good guy. I told him his Instagram makes him look like a pig even though he isn’t in real life.. we both really love each other but this has always been an argument.
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There is no trust in this relationship. Even after being with you he needs attention from other girls speaks so much about how he is in real life.

He will not change his behavior by deleting them its not so simple.

I would probably be more skeptical about his behavior when he is not with you.

There is no solid foundation here for a respectful and loving relationship.

You need to spend some time with yourself and think about what you want from your partner, is he the right one for you?

Dont just settle for people who dont have those values in them

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  • 2 months later...

Especially in these days, women on Instagram love to expose their faces and bodies and enjoy the reactions of people
I had a lot of controversy over the same issue
I have consistently said it breaks my self-esteem and you hate seeing them
I told him I would quit our relationship if he kept following them, and he eventually deleted his account.
If he doesn't like it, stop the relationship. You have to meet a man who will respect and love you more.

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