My Scorpio did sting me..

[MissH]

Just going back to this OP.

" I even went against my family & convinced them that we were going to get married eventually whether they support me or not.."

 

In your discussions did you tell this man about your family's feelings regarding your marriage with a Christian?"

 

Anyhow, that aside I feel that in the scenario described throughout your thread that there will not be a marriage.

 

 

He was the one who started it after a few dates, he asked how my family would feel about me dating a Christian, and I said they won’t be very happy but if I’m happy in the relationship, I won’t care what anyone thinks and I’ll do whatever makes me happy.. He then asked me to bring up the subject with my family cause he said he doesn’t want me to be in conflict with them because of him and that if I start telling them about him and maybe meet him one day, it would make the situation better..

On the other hand, I insisted that I won’t talk to them about him unless it gets more serious than just dating, but I told my mom I was dating him.. So mariage wasn’t « my goal no matter what” but rather “an expectation if we get along and make each other happy” 🤷🏻♀️ Step by step is what I wanted, but he wanted to tell me about his plans especially that he was at the age of a serious relationship. He “was done playing around” according to him. I don’t see him as a playboy at all anyway! 🤷🏻♀️

[MissH]

I didn't see anything in what you wrote as that offensive (went back to your first post). It was a sparse few lines and you wished him a good evening albeit sounding a little sarcastic but that doesn't sound to me at all like explosive anger. It's a vibe killer for sure but I think people should be able to speak their mind in relationships and it doesn't always come out sounding like a neutral round table discussion. That's just life. In future if you can avoid it, it's best or handle it in ways that don't put the other person in an uncomfortable situation. This is a learning process and we are all learning.

 

The main problem is that there's no end in sight to the long distance situation and living apart seems indefinite. Sad but unfortunate... I think I've read a couple of stories in the past 2020 here on the forum similar to this due to Covid and travel restrictions or loss of jobs. Keep your chin up and keep at it. The only thing to do now is work on yourself and your career. There'll be others to date. Give yourself time.

 

 

I think you’re the best advice giver here! Reading your replies just gives me good vibes even if I’m struggling..

I know I didn’t react well to the situation, I could’ve handled it better and I’m sure if we were face to face, we wouldn’t be here now.. that’s the thing about this distance, you feel like you’re drowning but can’t do anything about it..

I acted spontaneously, I regretted it but I was also speaking my mind cause I was very upset.. it was extra pressure on him cause at that time he was handling business on his own with no help, and I attacked him, but as you said, we should be able to speak our minds in a relationship..

 

I was sick and felt neglected a bit so I let it out.. Him ignoring me wasn’t nice at all even if he had the right to feel uncomfortable..

I’m trying to push through everything and move on, I’m sure there’ll be others to date but I’m uncomfortable with what happened..

[LaHermes]

I entirely agree:

 

"...we should be able to speak our minds in a relationship.."

 

And spontaneity is wonderful.

 

However, speaking one's mind and being upfront and honest is very different from going on the attack.

[MissH]

I entirely agree:

 

"...we should be able to speak our minds in a relationship.."

 

And spontaneity is wonderful.

 

However, speaking one's mind and being upfront and honest is very different from going on the attack.

 

I was just being me and I didn’t think it over on the spot :’( I know I need to work on this, but I would’ve 100% gave answers if it was him who was “on the attack”.. That’s how I realized, my spontaneity isn’t seen as what it really is by him..