Help my son with the passing of his grandpa

[Fudgie]

You can’t even talk about COVID he totally loses it. So we just talk about other things 99 % of the time. We are very honest with him. His anxiety comes out as anger like mine does. He needs to know what , why, when, where, time about situations 100% of the time and right now nothing follows those rules so he is blown out of the water .

 

That's unfortunate. I'm not really sure how to address that. And yes, with the COVID situation, his desire to have all of the answers is not going to be met. So it sounds like he doesn't bring up COVID on his own but if it comes up via you or someone else, then that's when he blows up?

 

It also sounds like his YouTube habits are making things worse for him but he just can't stop watching them. I know you probably won't do this but if my sister were acting similarly and I were head of household, I'd probably use the router's parental controls to limit access to such videos and then see if her temperment improves over the course of a week and go from there. And if she asked why they weren't loading, I'd blame a bandwidth issue (not technically a lie). Again, that's just me.

 

He is an adult but he's still in your house and if you feel that these viewing habits continue to wreack havoc on his mental health, no one is going to judge you for attempting to enact some safeguards, even if they are stealthy.

[Cherylyn]

He only likes animé card games with other Autistics, all closed due to COVID. He hates sports and hates the outdoors since infancy. They provide too much stimulation. He is incredibly stimulation avoidant. He spends 19 hours a day in his room to avoid stimulation. And if he is out of his room he’s wearing headphones.

 

Thank you for explaining. I'm sorry.

[Seraphim]

That's unfortunate. I'm not really sure how to address that. And yes, with the COVID situation, his desire to have all of the answers is not going to be met. So it sounds like he doesn't bring up COVID on his own but if it comes up via you or someone else, then that's when he blows up?

 

It also sounds like his YouTube habits are making things worse for him but he just can't stop watching them. I know you probably won't do this but if my sister were acting similarly and I were head of household, I'd probably use the router's parental controls to limit access to such videos and then see if her temperment improves over the course of a week and go from there. And if she asked why they weren't loading, I'd blame a bandwidth issue (not technically a lie). Again, that's just me.

 

He is an adult but he's still in your house and if you feel that these viewing habits continue to wreack havoc on his mental health, no one is going to judge you for attempting to enact some safeguards, even if they are stealthy.

That’s the thing I have told him to stop watching certain things if it is going to drive him over the deep end.

[Seraphim]

Thank you for explaining. I'm sorry.

 

Thank you for taking the time to understand. Autistic people are all so different and have different tolerances for things. My son has very little tolerance for any kind of stimulation.

[maritalbliss86]

That's unfortunate. I'm not really sure how to address that. And yes, with the COVID situation, his desire to have all of the answers is not going to be met. So it sounds like he doesn't bring up COVID on his own but if it comes up via you or someone else, then that's when he blows up?

 

It also sounds like his YouTube habits are making things worse for him but he just can't stop watching them. I know you probably won't do this but if my sister were acting similarly and I were head of household, I'd probably use the router's parental controls to limit access to such videos and then see if her temperment improves over the course of a week and go from there. And if she asked why they weren't loading, I'd blame a bandwidth issue (not technically a lie). Again, that's just me.

 

He is an adult but he's still in your house and if you feel that these viewing habits continue to wreack havoc on his mental health, no one is going to judge you for attempting to enact some safeguards, even if they are stealthy.

 

 

Such a great comment! If he's watching videos with people being negative or anxious, those feelings are catching and Fudgie's right, that could be affecting his temperament.