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Ex says he's suing me for Defamation of Character.


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It sounds like he got quite "triggered" (for lack of a better word) by getting kicked out of a Facebook group (which definitely says a lot about his maturity level right there), and that's pretty much the impetus for this whole thing. He's being ridiculous, and any lawyer worth anything wouldn't entertain his nonsense for even one second, let alone represent him in suing you.

 

You've got nothing to worry about. While I have no doubt he DID say he was planning to sue you, I doubt he'll do it, and even if he tries, he has little to no chance of success.

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I typed out a HUGE response and then deleted it by mistake, but in essence, I was saying what a lot of people have said here: He's going to have a heck of a time proving defamation. First of all, he has to prove you actually did substantive damage (generally in the form of financial damage or damage to his reputation that harms him in some other significant way.) AND, he has to prove that you were lying about him. Simply talking to others about behavior that they also witnessed is NOT defamation; there's a big difference between saying, "Remember that time George got really mad at that festival and started screaming and cussing at everyone?" (recounting behavior that you and others actually witnessed) and saying "George is a psychopath. He belongs in an institution -- forever. He is a danger to others and to himself and is likely to kill someone." (diagnosing him with a mental illness when you're not qualified to do so AND speculating about his potential to commit murder.)

 

One of my exes claimed he was going to sue his ex before me for defamation because she had "talked crap" about him in their community. Likely, what she'd really done was simply have conversations about some of the weird/awful stuff he said and did to her, stuff that was probably entirely true, and it got back to him. And, he wasn't all that important in his community or anything -- it wasn't like he was a local celebrity (or even a local businessman) who stood to lose money because of anything his ex-wife said about him. I told him all of this (while secretly giggling to myself inwardly at his arrogance). He never ended up pursuing anything, as I knew he wouldn't. I've no doubt that he went to a lawyer who advised him he didn't have a legal leg to stand on.

 

I don't think you have anything to worry about, but it might make you feel better to seek some legal advice, if you feel inclined to. I too think your ex is just blowing smoke, though. He's probably hit a rough patch in his life and is lashing out. Things haven't turned out the way he hoped, and you've moved on, and he hates that.

 

"Remember that time he did this at that one festival, etc..." is exactly the kinds of things that were said. I was actually really surprised how many people I know from the scene that contacted me to talk about what a jerk he is. No one ever says this stuff to his face, so I really was starting to wonder if I was just crazy. Like, everyone else just accepts him the way he is, am I the only one that has a problem with the way he acts? One of his former employees even talked to me after I broke up with him. He can't keep help to save his life. He has a huge turnover rate. I have 5 employees and no one has ever quit on me because I treat my staff well and pay them well. He pays dirt and treats them like dirt.

 

Looking back, the only thing I said that might be taken as a lie was I called him Narcissistic. He is very narcissistic, but I am not a psychologist who can actually diagnose him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Still though, saying someone is narcissistic isn't really making a diagnosis in my opinion. It's just saying they act like a narcissist.

 

And this isn't even the first time an ex has threatened to sue me. I dated someone from age 17 to age 23. This was my first serious relationship. He bought a 30k car that he couldn't afford to make the payments on. He drove it around for 6 months and didn't pay anything. It was repossessed and sold at auction for about 9k. He was responsible for the other 21k. During the time all this was going on was when we broke up. So he just got it in his head that he was going to sue me for the 21k. He supposedly met with a lawyer and everything. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during that meeting. I had nothing to do with him buying the car. I didn't live with him when he bought it. There was absolutely nothing tying me to the expense at all. He ended up filing bankruptcy. This ruined his credit and his Grandma's credit since he talked her into cosigning for it. He originally wanted me to cosign but I told him no. Years later he still blamed me for this. I know because my aunt is really good friends with his Mom.

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It sounds like he got quite "triggered" (for lack of a better word) by getting kicked out of a Facebook group (which definitely says a lot about his maturity level right there), and that's pretty much the impetus for this whole thing. He's being ridiculous, and any lawyer worth anything wouldn't entertain his nonsense for even one second, let alone represent him in suing you.

 

You've got nothing to worry about. While I have no doubt he DID say he was planning to sue you, I doubt he'll do it, and even if he tries, he has little to no chance of success.

 

Yep. And from what I was told he was kicked out for basically spamming. He was doing several live streams a day trying to sell stuff and he would live stream in the group. He also was creeping on a few women who complained about him. He got himself banned.

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