Jump to content

First good date in awhile


Coldarmy13
 Share

Recommended Posts

After a few weeks into the dreaded online dating world I actually had a date who didn’t ghost day of, which was refreshing. Also, I think she looked better in person so I was pleasantly surprised.

 

We met up and had a couple drinks and talked and laughed and did karaoke for almost 6 hours. Time really flew by and we seemed to get along really well. I walked her to her car at the end of the night and we hugged and I went for the kiss, maybe shouldn’t have. She give a really quick peck but felt like it was mostly me. Got in her car and left but seemed to be smiling and happy. Must’ve read that all wrong.

 

I asked her to let me know when she arrived home and she did. Told her I had so much fun and that I’d love to see her again. She thanked me for a fun evening and said for sure we should do it again sometime soon. Part of me wanted to let her reach out after that, but seemed disingenuous and if I liked her and wanted to go out again I shouldn’t wait or play games. The following afternoon I reached out and asked her if she was free Tuesday night (which was my next convenient day) and waiting for what felt like forever! It was only an hour or so and she replied and we exchanged the hows your Sunday, etc, then she actually said Tuesday should work for her and we set up a second date.

 

Super excited, still early on so I’m not surprised to not get many texts in between dates. I just wanted to post and maybe have someone tell me it’s all good because it’s been a good while since I’ve met someone and been really smitten. Seconds dates seem harder because now you’re truly getting to know more about the person so seems like more is at stake.

 

Surely, if she agrees to second date then she must have some level of interest despite not being very receptive to a goodnight kiss, perhaps she wasn’t ready for that which I understand. Really just wanted to share and would love any advice.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would tone down the super excited - it sounds like a good first meet and now she's agreed to an official first date! Have fun on the date and treat it as a one time thing - because it is unless there's a plan for a second date. She is interested in going on a date with you because she said yes. So my advice is one date at a time with this new person. Enjoy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds great and like she does like you.

 

That said....chill out. Most women don't like to kiss, etc. on a first meet and greet and especially now there is a pandemic. Also, there is nothing special or serious about a second date. Focus on keeping it light and fun. It takes time to get to know someone, not just a few dates, so ease off that gas pedal. Don't try to jump from one good date to instant relationship. Rather take it one date at a time early on and have fun without creating pressure on yourself for more too fast.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nice to hear some good news on the forum! I am happy for you.

 

I agree you need to temper your excitement which I understand is not easy but you need to try. Good on you for not playing waiting games and you were straight forward and asked her for another date.

 

From now on you should never lean in for a kiss on the first date which technically is a first meet unless she initiates. On your second date you will need to look for signs she is okay with it so don't assume anything. Respect her boundaries and like was mentioned above there is a pandemic after all.

 

Second dates are only as tough as you or she makes them. If you both have a lot to share and get to know each other then it should go perfectly fine but if the conversation is forced and awkward it is not good. Be prepared to ask about her, her life, siblings, how long she has lived in the area and stuff like that and please be sure to LISTEN! Don't just wait for your turn to talk and listen carefully to what she says.

 

Remember you are trying to get to know who she really is so you can decide if you want to see her again.

 

It is hard to not want to rush things especially when there are so many fakes, flakes and deceivers on OLD and when you meet someone real and nice you want to hold on and not lose them but relax, be the best version of yourself and if she is into you it will work out.

 

Make sure you come back and let us know how the next date goes.

 

Good luck

Lost

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds great and like she does like you.

 

That said....chill out. Most women don't like to kiss, etc. on a first meet and greet .

 

I would say that's true for most. I know I don't consider a meet 'n greet a date.

 

It's an opportunity to see if there is a potential for a further legitimate date. You see each other again because there is equal interest having been built on a meeting that went well and chemistry, if any was built on that.

Think of test driving a car. You went to dealership because you were interested. Ultimately you realize it's a reallly nice car but not the car for you. Getting caught up in the moment you make an offer and then return home to second guess the message you might have given.

 

Even if I feel like I might want a kiss I 6do appreciate it if a guy doesn't try to go in for one.

I know we talk about not playing games, but there is no doubt that courting still matters. The anticipation of things to come builds on that interest and builds tension.

 

Slow your roll. Have fun. I say at this moment, refrain texting her today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good to see some familiar faces here still!

 

Of course, I was going to confirm the date tomorrow and that’s it, no need to text today or until then.

 

I'd text as little as possible. This is a person you met once and you have your first real date tomorrow, right?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Second date went really nice.

 

We met up at a place then went to another place and had a ton of fun. We ended up back at her place and we just talked and enjoyed each other’s company, it was really refreshing. There was some making out and we ended up cuddling and falling asleep together. No funny business but I was honestly happy just cuddling it felt really comfortable.

 

She invited me to a Halloween party she is having this weekend. I’ll have to check in on the details of that and I won’t know anyone else there but could be fun. Not sure if she’s the type that won’t ever text first, or maybe I should just wait until closer to Saturday to check in with her. Funny, would make things a lot more comfortable if she texted here or there but maybe in time. Or maybe she knows what she’s doing lol and has me wondering because of it.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like she likes you a lot. Go to the party and have fun.

 

Please don't get hung up on texting as an indication of anything. If you want to say something or share something, just do it. Don't play games. Some people are not into texting much. Also, women at large are told over and over not to lead early on and let the man do the reaching out. You've just had one meet up and one date. Don't get ahead of yourself and just enjoy the process of getting to know her. Basically, don't need to check in every day, but do show some consistent interest/communication in between the dates.

 

Her inviting you to the party is a huge green light that she is really into you. Like what more do you really need?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Me: G’morning gorgeous, what time-ish is the party?

 

Her:[emoji5]good morning, I think everyone’s coming about 8

 

Me: okay, byob?

 

Her: yes, we will have shots and snacks

 

Me: okay great, looking forward to seeing you again [emoji5]

 

Her: [emoji5] it’s going to be an interesting evening

 

 

That last line struck me a little funny.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So the Halloween party went about as great as it possibly could. Had a ton of fun and ended up staying the night, this time sleeping together that night and the following morning. She made me breakfast and I left a little after noon.

 

I was feeling really comfortable so o went ahead and invited her to my house for dinner and a movie we talked about at the party for Monday night. Really soon but to my surprise she accepted. She came to my place for the first time and it was another nice evening with food and a movie and some cuddling in bed and we slept together again before she left a little before midnight. Again, got to know a little more about each other and enjoy each other’s company.

 

Yet still, virtually no messaging or even much contact all day today, and if I don’t initiate I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t hear much of anything until I ask her out again. Sure, she’s probably just not much of a texter or she’s busy or just isn’t the type to need to hear much in between dates. Either way I am in a bit of a slow period in my life right now and probably don’t have enough on my plate to keep me busy, therefore would like to hear more from her in between. I shouldn’t need or want it but I do probably because of too much time on my hands.

 

Am I wrong to gauge her interest on that? Maybe ask her out for a night this weekend in a couple of days and see what she says.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Constant contact fizzles things too quickly. A real relationship develops with spending quality time together...not by staring at a screen. I hate texting with a passion. Never gauge interest based on the constant need for instant gratification from constant empty validation. You can make a million followers and FB friends, but doesn't mean they are friends. Learn to be bored. It will get your creative juices flowing

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Constant contact fizzles things too quickly. A real relationship develops with spending quality time together...not by staring at a screen. I hate texting with a passion. Never gauge interest based on the constant need for instant gratification from constant empty validation. You can make a million followers and FB friends, but doesn't mean they are friends. Learn to be bored. It will get your creative juices flowing
This^^

To answer your question. Yes, do not guage her interest based on electronic exchanges.

 

It's real time that matters here and your dates sound amazing.

 

If at some point you feel you need more (reasonably) you can ask. Just not now.

 

In the meantime live in moment, don't focus on the time in between.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • Why You Should NEVER Chase Your Ex
      You should NEVER chase your ex, no matter what... even if you want to get back together. In this video, I’ll explain what exactly I mean by that… and why it’s so important if you want your ex back. Here's the simple truth: if you DO want to give yourself the best possible chance of starting over with your ex, you simply CANNOT let yourself start chasing them… it just doesn’t work, even though it’s the natural human reaction to a breakup and often feels like the right way to get them back. Even if you DON'T want your ex back, you still shouldn't let yourself chase after them. Watch the full video to find out why...

       
      • 0 replies
    • How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩
      How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩... In this dating advice video, I will explain to you how to know she’s the one and give you five signs she’s the one as well as give you one red flag that you need to look out for. You may want to know whether she’s the one on first dates, online dating, or somewhere in the dating process. Take heed to these dating tips and be sure to watch the entire video.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Odd Signs You're Seeking Approval from Others Outside of Yourself
      In this YouTube Video, Lisa A Romano discusses 5 signs that indicate you're still seeking approval from others outside of you. If you are codependent, and you struggle with self-love, you may not realize the signs you're seeking approval from others. Childhood trauma and emotional neglect lead to a sense of feeling unseen. If you feel unseen, you may seek approval in odd ways. It may not be obvious when you are looking for validation from others. In this video, Lisa A Romano breaks down these 5 signs, and what they mean; hypervigilance, neediness, low self-worth, never feeling fulfilled and what it means when you become a perpetual seeker.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 3 Simple Strategies To Ditch The Imposter Syndrome
      Have you ever felt like you're a fraud who doesn't belong? According to a recent article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, seven in every ten people have or will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. We couldn't see our tribe suffering from this anymore, so we brought in the person who'll help you ditch this feeling for good. In this video, peak performance expert Shadé Zahrai joins Vishen to discuss how to supercharge your life and improve your self-esteem by constructing your own reality, leveraging your self-awareness, and regaining control over your inner critic

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Things People Who’ve Been Mentally Abused Do
      Do you know how common mental abuse is? According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, 80 percent of the population has experienced some form of abusive relationship and behavior. However, despite how frequent it is, emotional abuse is still hard to spot. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse doesn’t leave any visible scars; instead, it affects someone’s behavior, mindset, and mentality. This means some people deny they’ve been mentally abused, and others may not even recognize the toxic behavior. So, whether you’re reading this to be able to recognize emotional abuse in others or recognize it in yourself, these a few things people who’ve been mentally abused do are sure to help you be more empathetic and kinder.

       
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...