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Hi, will try and keep it brief but something is really bugging me and a few things just don't add up. Started a few years ago, I sat down to watch a movie with my girlfriend on Netflix and it showed she was half way through one, something she wouldn't necessarily pick so I asked and she claimed I watched it with her...I know I didn't so I wondered who it was with. She also had fingerprint bruises on both legs, again it wasn't me and she also recalled a conversation we had, again it wasn't me. Each time I've had to let it go, she's gone mad at me for even thinking she'd do something behind my back.

While out for dinner at the weekend we got talking about beauty spots and she referred to one I have around my penis, I don't have one there. So she said oh I must be thinking about the one on your backside... Yep you guessed it, nothing there either. She claims she must be confusing me with someone else but claims she hasn't slept with anyone else for over 6 years.

Am I being taken for a complete idiot here? I'm not a jealous person whatsoever but I can't shake this feeling.

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So you've been together 6 years. Do you live together? What are your work schedules? When would she have time to have an affair, if in fact, she is? What's your couple time versus time apart? Do you both have a lot of friends over? Does she have girls nights out? Does she guard her cell phone like a hawk? How old are you both? We can't know if she's having an affair or not. There definitely seems to be a weird disconnect, though, that she doesn't know your body well after six years.

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It really is a guess as to why her strange behavior is happening. I'm not sure you can do much apart from just keep an eye out and see if anything else comes up.

 

But to pinpoint right now if she is cheating based on what you've said and without anymore evidence, it's a really tough call and would be a total guess.

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It sounds like it was off for awhile and in that period you aren't sure if she met someone else. She could be seeing him still but the sad fact is that she was never happy with you.

 

There's a lot of emotional baggage there because of how your relationship started while you were both married to other people/spouses. This sort of questioning and distrust will continue and it's not about jealousy. It's because there's no trust.

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Is this the same women as before? The timelines don't seem to match. This women says she hasn't slept with anyone else in 6 years. But the previous women was still married four years ago. It could be that she was married but not sleeping together, although I'm not getting the feeling that was what was going on. If it is the same woman, then you already made the call to end things and should stick to it. Changing your mind is only going to hurt you more.

 

If this is a different women, then something does feel off. But there is no way to tell if it's cheating. She may have a really bad memory. Are things going okay in the relationship otherwise? For now just watch and see if these things continue or if there is anything more definitive. It might be that you are having trouble trusting after the last relationship was, in your words, "toxic." Or maybe the new relationship was too soon from the last one. You need to look at yourself and ask if you are looking for things to be wrong, or if these concerns are really bothering you.

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