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Guy I met online says he wants to leave his gf for me


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Thank you. I agree about working on myself however I've literally been single my whole, entire life. So I actually don't think not being single enough is the problem here. If anything me being single for such a long time is a problem. Despite everything, a person grows through relationships, romantic ones too. And while I've done a lot of soul searching, introspection etc, I clearly haven't gone through any romantic relationship therefore I haven't grown and learned through them. And also I pamper myself so much. I do think I love myself, but then again what is self-love? Idk, really, does anyone know what that even is.

 

Self love is being true to yourself and your core values. You know that he’s not good for you and you notice the red flags, so that is a good start for self love. You also need self respect and self appreciation to know your worth and not let anyone waste any of your time. This guy clearly is beneath you and though he may say things you enjoy hearing, he’s not worth it.

 

Whatever you do don’t settle for anything online. You don’t know the other person your talking to. In fact he could be married? I think if you want to date you’ll just need to wait until it’s safer to do so.

 

In the meantime keep building up that great insight and self awareness you have.

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Please stop. He is a cheater...do you want a cheater? Because you are not so special to him that if you do decide to become his gf, that he won't eventually cheat on you too.

It's not IF he will do that to you...it's WHEN.

 

Wake up. He is the worst type of man. Add into it that he is no doubt a liar, besides a cheater and his morals are very low.

 

He is a stranger on the internet. How can you even consider talking to this loser again?

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OK, first of all, I think your mindset about finding actual real love is too negative. I understand that you've never had a relationship before but in my opinion anyone who is a nice and decent person can find someone. I work with people with disabilities and some people I worked with in a wheelchair or with cerebral palsy and all sorts of things, still found someone.

 

I think if you actually do want a relationship, which it seems deep down you do, you need to look for the right kind of guy. I'm getting the sense you actually do want to be with someone because look how easily you fell for some stranger on the internet and projected on him. I think whether he has a girlfriend is actually irrelevant (but makes it much worse). The fact is you basically don't know him. And if you don't know someone, how can you be falling in love with them? You can only be falling in love with the IDEA of them, not them. And especially if you haven't video chatted, you really have zero idea who this person even is. If you hadn't looked him up on Facebook he could have easily been some old man! I'm just saying, there are plenty of dodgy people out there. I've been catfished online before where in real life the person didn't even look like their picture.

 

I seriously doubt he would leave his girlfriend for you. I think he's just saying things you wanna hear. Unless he's crazy why would he leave a partner he's had for a long time for someone he's never even met? I think yes, he is a cheater and probably just bored in his relationship.

 

Even if you want to meet someone online, you can use online dating and find a lot more guys who are actually single. Or at least give guys where you live a chance first before already saying you're not gonna find anyone. If you never tried then how do you know?

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I just want to clear something up. Honest to God, I'm not attracted to him "because" he's an attached man. No, ABSOLUTELY NO, that's gross, that's precisely what makes me sad. Not only do I feel horrible for his gf and empathize with her, I also feel guilty - eventhough I had no idea he had a gf until just now and as soon as I found out I put a stop to it (I haven't replied to him since). HOWEVER, unfortunately, I fell for him (or the fantasy of him) BEFORE I found out he had a gf. And I'm only human - I have feelings for him and every now and then wonder "what if". But yeah, you're right, thanks a lot for this. Much appreciated. I will keep away from him.

 

This just goes to show you how deviant this guy truly is. How unfair to you to feel the shame and guilt because of HIS ACTIONS due to his selfishness. This is almost grounds to let his GF know...tho I don't recommend it, but in these cases where he led you on, hell ya. What a jerk.

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