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Hey, looking for some input on this. my husband's nephew has a ex girlfriend who has been in the family since before I married my husband. She been around for over 10 years and we get alone well alone. He is like a big brother to her, their both in their early 30s and a bit immature. so she sent my husband some pics of her and her son and another friend out and about.she also sent one with her sitting on a bed with a skin tight low cut cleavage showing dress. Now I know my husband is not interested in her that way, and I don't see her as a threat. So my question is this: should I talk to my husband about setting bounties with her, and let him take care of it. Because this bothered me, and she crossed the line and I did not appreciate it. If I decide to speak with him how would I broach the subject? or do I let it go?

 

Thanks

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If it bothers you, you just let him know that. It's weird, inappropriate, and messed up to be sending picture to someone she knows is married and she knows who he's married with. And you two were close but now she does this? It's just really weird and even if you know your husband wouldn't be unfaithful it still crosses your boundaries.

 

Just approach the talk calmly and rationally and try to have a civil, nontoxic discussion. Your husband should at least understand where you're coming from and then you go from there. She's sending pics to her ex's uncle. I woulda made it clear with her to stop if I was your husband. It's just too weird.

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Are there other issues in your marriage that prompted you to go through his phone/messages?

 

In itself it may be in bad taste o to send it, but you seem to think it's some sort of flirting or sexting between them?

so she sent my husband some pics of her and her son and another friend out and about.she also sent one with her sitting on a bed with a skin tight low cut cleavage showing dress
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Depending on how much time has passed, I would respond, as myself, on his phone. One, to let her know we share each other's phones. And two, to let her know its wrong to send sexy pics to a married man, her ex's uncle and my husband. Never be afraid to put your foot down and set a boundary. People know what they do. They just count on other's being too polite to call out bs.

 

When you show you will call out bs, it is amazing how it stops. You don't have to be rude... A simple... "Hey. what's up with these sexy pics being sent to our phone? Is this your tinder pic?"

 

Leave it on her to explain this poor behavior.

 

Ps... You can always make it known your phones are linked and you get as all the same messages.

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Did he show you the pics? Did you tell him when you saw that pic that you didn't like her sending that type of pic?

 

If he sees her as a sister then he may not have given it much thought so if it bothers you don't expect him to read your mind. Just tell him you don't like her sending pics like that to him. The see what he says.

 

This is not some test for your husband so let him know you didn't appreciate her sending that sexy pic and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Let him know how you feel and then work together for a solution.

 

The same thing could go on with some guy at your work chatting you up and you think nothing of it but it bothers your husband.

 

Lost

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I would definitely be all over that.

 

Yes, he should take the lead himself and nip it in the bud.

 

But I like to reiterate my boundaries every once in a while, just to make sure we are on the same page, and that nobody is slipping.

 

I would just come right out and say it: "What the hell is that? I do not like that." We can speak plainly to each other. It's the best way.

 

Then he has no doubt about my feelings and has an opportunity to correct the situation.

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Hey, looking for some input on this. my husband's nephew has a ex girlfriend who has been in the family since before I married my husband. She been around for over 10 years and we get alone well alone. He is like a big brother to her, their both in their early 30s and a bit immature. so she sent my husband some pics of her and her son and another friend out and about.she also sent one with her sitting on a bed with a skin tight low cut cleavage showing dress. Now I know my husband is not interested in her that way, and I don't see her as a threat. So my question is this: should I talk to my husband about setting bounties with her, and let him take care of it. Because this bothered me, and she crossed the line and I did not appreciate it. If I decide to speak with him how would I broach the subject? or do I let it go?

 

Thanks

 

The problem is your husband whom you've also classed as 'immature'. You don't see her as a threat but your husband's using her anyway for attention. If he and you were on the same page this wouldn't be happening. Unfortunately I think you should take another look at your marriage. It might not be what you think.

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