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Is it worth Pursuing?


nman414

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Hi all, I've been single for almost a year now, focusing on my second year of college but really missing having a girlfriend especially going into winter. The gym I go to recently opened back up so I started going again. I normally go in the early AM where there is really only older people, which is unfortunate for my dating dilemma but I guess is good as it allows me to focus on working out. I feel like girls and gyms are a slippery slope though, I see many posts online of women complaining about men at gyms always staring at them and trying to hit on them, with that in mind, I always go out of my way to make sure the girls at the gym don't feel uncomfortable by purposely looking everywhere but at them. Today while working out, I noticed a girl with really pretty hair (wearing a mask so I don't know what she looks like fully). as I walked by where she was working out to grab some weights, it felt like she was looking at me. I brushed it off and walked over to an area to do my workout. she grabbed weights and set them down in the same area as me only right in front of the mirror that I was using to watch my form. I feel like this is important as there were three other walls with mirrors and she chooses to stand right in front of me when there is plenty of open space. right as I finished my workout, I went to put my weights away and she followed with hers. I left and that was it though. I don't know if Im over thinking this, but is she trying to get me to look at her and notice her? or was she just being inconsiderate moving her stuff right in front of me. Im not complaining as it fueled my ego a bit but I am just curious to hear others opinions. Knowing what I said earlier though, I avoided looking at her and had to avert my gaze away from the mirror even though I still wanted to use it. I think I might want to potentially get to know this girl but I would hate to find out that I had the wrong idea the whole time and make things weird for her. Like I said earlier though, I normally go early in the AM and never see many girls, today however I was busy in the AM and had to go midday. Do I switch up my whole schedule tomorrow and the following week to see if I can find this Girl again? and if I do end up seeing her, do I make a move? or do I just let fate decide things and continue going at my normal time and see if I ever end up seeing her again. Thanks for any thoughts.

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I would not rearrange my schedule on the off chance that you will run into a girl who may or may not have noticed you. You could go and she not be there as she was doing the same thing as you and going at a different time then usual. Or she was being rude and didn't really have any interest. Or you've been wanting a girlfriend so you are putting a lot of attention to the first girl that caught your eye. There's a lot of variables and no way to know what she was thinking.

 

However, if you are really that intrigued by her and it isn't too difficult to go at a different time, then take it slow. Say hi and just talk. Get to know her. Don't get ahead of yourself thinking this is going to be new girlfriend or trying to read signs into everything. Figure out if this is someone you actually want to know better. Right know all you know is she goes to the gym and has nice hair. If you get along well, see where it goes.

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I think you're first instinct is correct. Meeting girls at a gym is a slippery slope. It's true that they go there to workout , not to be stared at or hit on.

 

You would be better off getting on some quality (paid) dating apps with a good profile and pics and start talking to and meeting girls you know are available and interested in dating.

 

Another thing you can do is broaden your horizons. Join some clubs and groups, volunteer. Picking up women in gyms was and always will be a bit creepy for them.

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Well I think there is no harm in saying hello to her if you see her again. You can try to make a little conversation. Obviously though you haven't seen her face and I think being attracted to someone's face is really important. Have you tried online dating or Meetup groups and hobby groups? I think while it's good that you and this girl both enjoy working out, but it doesn't really mean you have anything else in common. It might be good to join groups where people share more of your interests and you engage in an activity where it's encouraged to chat. E.g. cooking class, woodworking class. Doesn't have to be those but some kind of group activity where you actually get to know people.

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Start a rapport with them first, get to know them a little, small chat her and there. Once they get comfortable, then let it lead to a coffee or a snack, a health drink.

 

Best advice right here!!!

 

Say hi and see how she responds. Make some small talk about you don't usually come in at this time and ask about if it is usually busy. If she is responsive and engages you with questions of her own then that is a good sign. If she doesn't seem like she wants to talk say "Nice meeting you, have a good workout" and go about your business.

 

Regrets for not at least trying suck so don't be that guy. Go back in at the same time and see if she is there, or better yet get there earlier and see if she decides to work out close to you again.

 

You have zero to lose so why not give it a shot?

 

Lost

 

PS Single women are totally okay with meeting guys at the gym, it just needs to be the right guy, not some ego filled jerk that thinks he is gods gift to women.

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I'm married and when my building's fitness room was open I chatted with men and women who were regulars. Everyone was very respectful of everyone else's need for space - meaning I go there to put on my earbuds and work out but don't mind chatting -I also don't try to keep a convo going for long because I respect others' wishes to work out/have alone time. But sure it's fine to chat/make conversation and also fine to suggest meeting after if the vibe feels right!

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