I don't know what to do about moving in

[ElephantGuac]

Hi, my boyfriend and I are due to move in. We have applied for a house and they are going through references. I work, he doesn't and doesn't want to (wants to live off inheritance). He has offered to pay 6 months of rent upfront so they will accept our application as he doesn't work.

 

I'm not sure I want to owe him money. I cannot afford to pay him 3 months rent (my half) upfront. Our relationship is volatile. I was happy to accept the tenancy when it was a two-bedroom property, we were each paying per month so we could get different room-mates if we broke up as people do.

 

I think I should be grateful but instead, I'm just scared it won't work out. We had a call over skype today (currently living long-distance) and it ended in tears. I'm really not sure what to do. It's too late notice really to find elsewhere and I'm scared I'm panicking for no reason.

[melancholy123]

You are right to panic, this is not going to turn out well. Living off inheritance is a bad idea, you dont say how much money he has but he should be doing something towards his future with it, not paying 6 months rent with it. What happens after 6 months? Are you planning to support him because he's too lazy to get a job?

 

A volatile relationship is never good, if you cant get along at a distance how will you get along when you are in the same house?

 

You need to find another place to live, with someone other than him if you cant afford to live on your own. This has disaster written all over it.

[MissCanuck]

Your gut is screaming at you that this is not a good idea.

 

You would be wise to listen to it.

[Cherylyn]

Follow your instincts because it's always correct and right.

 

Don't move in together. Your future does not look bright with him. Better to be alone than feeling lonely with the wrong man.

[catfeeder]

we could get different room-mates if we broke up as people do.

 

Why not just go straight to this?

[Wiseman2]

How well do you know him? It sounds like a horrible deal. Stay where you are

 

Do not get roommates to complicate things. Just don't move in with someone unemployed, long distance and "volitile" .

 

What does volitile mean? On/off? Abusive? Drugs and heavy drinking? What does " live off his inheritance" mean?

 

This is a horrible partner and an even worse risk as a roommate. It sounds like a scam.

[Jibralta]

I'm not sure I want to owe him money. I cannot afford to pay him 3 months rent (my half) upfront. Our relationship is volatile....

 

I think I should be grateful but instead, I'm just scared it won't work out. We had a call over skype today (currently living long-distance) and it ended in tears.

 

Go with your gut. Don't move in.

 

Rent a storage locker and shack up with friends or family temporarily if need be. But don't move in with him.

[Batya33]

Go with your gut. Don't move in.

 

Rent a storage locker and shack up with friends or family temporarily if need be. But don't move in with him.

 

Could not agree more. Do not move in and entangle yourself with him financially in any way.

[Hollyj]

Why are you even dating someone who doesn't want to work? Hw can you have any respect for him? He sounds like a lazy loser! Your future is supporting this idiot.

 

The relationship is toxic and you want to move in together. What are you thinking? Up your standards, this has bad all over it!

 

What do your parents and friends say?

[Lambert]

It is not a good sign to move forward in a relationship with an exit plan. Yes. Relationships end. Marriages end. Bad things do happen. But when you are planning to move in together, it should be happy, fun, exciting! You are experiencing none of that. Add volatility to this and its a recipe for disaster.

 

Why are you I this relationship? Honest question.

[boltnrun]

Bad, bad idea.

 

I bet this "inheritance" doesn't even exist. He plans to mooch off of you. And your name will be on the lease (has he suggested only your name be on it??) and you will be financially liable when he doesn't pay his share.

 

Why are you attracted to a man who doesn't work? How much time have you two spent together in person?

[Hollyj]

Where are you OP?

[boltnrun]

Where are you OP?

 

Hit & run poster.

[Capricorn3]

I work, he doesn't and doesn't want to

 

Our relationship is volatile. .

You're not panicking for no reason. You have a LOT to panic about and really should trust your gut instinct. What is so difficult to understand is why on earth you are even still with him in the first place considering your relationship is volitile. It won't get better over time - in fact it will only get worse as time goes on. Is this really what you want for your future?? Get out of this toxic environment with him and leave. The sooner the better.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.