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I started dating a guy (he’s 37, I’m 32) I met online a couple of months ago. We hit it off quickly and even though we were a little long distance (he lives an hour away), decided to give it a go. It went really well. I liked him a lot and we had great chemistry. We saw each other about once a week and then also had a video date each week and texted. We both are single parents so we were understanding when we couldn’t talk or see each other all the time.


About a month in, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we became exclusive. I even briefly met his son and mom because his son had asked to meet me for a few minutes. Then a few weeks later, I felt a shift like he was pulling away. He had to cancel our plans because he had his son which was fine, but we also didn’t video chat or go on a date for a week and a half. When I told him it was hard to feel connected when I didn’t see him or at least video chat for ten days, he said he had worried this would happen and suggested we break up.


I was completely taken aback by this. I told him I was just trying to communicate how I was feeling, but definitely didn’t want to end things over this. He said he had thought he was ready to date (he divorced nine months ago) but that he’s just not and that he needs to deal with his own emotional stuff before he dates anyone. He wanted to be friends but I said I didn’t want to be friends unless he meant maybe slowing down and being friends while keeping the door open to a relationship. He said he didn’t want to be in any relationship right now. We haven’t spoke since.


I guess I’m just confused and trying to make sense of what happened. I’m hurt. I really liked this person and I’m wondering if he hadn’t been that into it liked he seemed and this was just a good opening to end things. It had been a long time since I felt this much chemistry with someone again.

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