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He can't play you unless you want that also. If you think he is insincere, you need to keep it for sex only and not get emotionally attached or expect anything from him.

 

He's not manipulating anyone. You wanted sex, he wanted sex, it's that simple. If you want a relationship, he has been very clear that he does not see that happening with you.

He knows how to manipulate to get what he wants that's for sure.
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He did nothing wrong -the only problem is you are lying to yourself now because you want more than sex and he does not. He wants you to want more than sex. He also is acting in a bratty way but you consented to a sex partner and you changed your mind. He really did not. So please don't overthink this and choose what is right for your health.

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I don't understand why he is upset and thinking that it is just sex for me? Yeah In the beginning it was just sex and conversation for me. I need to decide if I can leave him alone and not answer when he calls ugh.

 

Block and delete him from your phone and social media. This is not hard to do.

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I heard him say under his breath that we could have something but I smoke cigarettes and also our age difference he was thinking out loud. He has smoked a cigarette with me a couple of times even though he doesn't like it. And this last time he kept asking me for cigarettes too. But then he was saying he didn't want anything serious to me and did not want to date because he thinks you can't ever please a woman.

- THIS says enough. Get out of it.. since you have feelings.. BUT he is not happy with anything.

 

Also, you have only been involved with him a month. Stop it - all of it!

Or YOU will lose.

 

He does not want, what you do.. and I think you know this.

 

Move on... walk away- keep walking.

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There's a lot to unpack here...

 

In short, I would just end it if I were you. It sounds like he just wants to hook up. And even if he did want more, the fact that he contradicts himself so much would be a red flag anyway. Cut him loose before you get even more attached and get hurt.

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He can't play you unless you want that also. If you think he is insincere, you need to keep it for sex only and not get emotionally attached or expect anything from him.

 

He's not manipulating anyone. You wanted sex, he wanted sex, it's that simple. If you want a relationship, he has been very clear that he does not see that happening with you.

 

And someone's insecurities aren't a measure of their feelings for you.

It's just a reflection of their insecurities.

Don't confuse the two.

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Are you from different cultures, socioeconomic/educational backgrounds? It sounds like s purely sexual relationship, which is fine.

He also lied about some of his life. But told me the truth about some things the last time we were together. Another thing he said is that women don't like to be told what to do.
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We are from different cultures and education is the same. Economic is different. He says things like he wants me to put more weight on and tells me to wear something nice for him not sexy. I know that I am misreading his comments. Guess I want it to be more than sex.

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I'm sitting here crying because I can't get him on the phone. Maybe it's that I have low self-esteem not sure. His phone is turned off because it goes straight to voicemail. Ugh I'm afraid to tell him how I feel. But I am going to try to call him when I know he is on his way to work tonight.

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I'm sitting here crying because I can't get him on the phone. Maybe it's that I have low self-esteem not sure. His phone is turned off because it goes straight to voicemail. Ugh I'm afraid to tell him how I feel. But I am going to try to call him when I know he is on his way to work tonight.

Maybe he doesn't want to be contacted. Instead of crying and trying to phone him, why not step back and wait and see what he does? Chasing and pushing is not an attractive trait. Besides that, he seems a bit of a weirdo and you can do a lot better. Find someone your own age, a better match and someone way more mature than what this guy seems to be. There seems to be something really "off" about this guy. Take note of all of the red flags.

 

Work on your low self-esteem - maybe look into some therapy to help you with this issue.

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I know this sounds stupid but why do you think he is a weirdo and off about him?

 

Do you genuinely not know, or have you pretending (to yourself) not to know?

 

Also, if you hit the “Reply with Quote” button, it will be easier to understand which post you’re responding to.

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Again not meaning to sound dense but I genuinely do not know. Thanks for the tip about replying with the quote.

 

We've already pointed it out in this thread, but for clarity:

 

-him wanting sexual exclusivity but also telling you he's not interested in dating

 

-him being a jerk about not buying him a drink and claiming this means you only want sex from him

 

-him alluding to the fact he can't be with you because you smoke, and yet apparently so does he when it suits him

 

-him saying things "under his breath" all the time (mature adults don't go around muttering the important things - they speak directly and clearly)

 

He's trying to manipulate you to soothe his ego but you're confused and think that means he had deeper feelings. This guy doesn't want what you want, and he's essentially already told you that, OP. You've gotten your feelings too wrapped up in him and you're already getting too attached. Given the reaction you're currently experiencing over not getting a reply yet, you really need to step away from him.

 

Out of curiosity, what's your dating history like? I ask because it seems you are unaware of the red flags here.

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