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Co worker is putting me in awkward position


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I do not enjoy the attention, I usually just find it easier to say I'm not available or don't date co workers which is true than outright saying i'm not interested in dating you. And this usually work in other cases and some men back off and leave it alone. it's not comfortable having a conversation like that for me if i don't have to, so I usually try that and if doesn't work then outright reject them which isn't fun for me. which i have to do in the case unfortunately

 

But you have to outright say it at this point. There is nothing else you ca do. I get rejecting him is not fun, but you could say "i only date guys that are x age," and if he's older or younger, he will try to show you why guys his age are something you are missing out on. If you tell him you don't date coworkers, he will hang on until you quit or he gets another job. Don't talk to him at work. Be busy. And if he brings up the subject again, tell him, no, you will never date him and if he needs to find a woman look somewhere else for one.

 

I would NOT let him walk you to your car, and make sure he is NOT following you.

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I will stop buying his food and laughing at his comments and halt them going forward. I also want to add that he has asked me point blank if I will date him if I was single before. I told him no because I'm against dating co workers because it changes the work place environment and if something happens then you're forced to see that person and I don't want tension at work. He said he understand and see what i mean and back off for a while. Which is true especially considering that fact I've been with the company for 8 years, have build up my senority and have medical benefits. So quitting is not an option which why I try to avoid office romance like plaque

 

Since polite communication hasn’t worked in the past, I would certainly threaten to go to HR if he does it again, and make it clear that you’ve said it several times repeatedly in the past to stop, if he doesn’t you will go to HR and you will be putting this in writing (in an email) to document this. And do go to HR if he continues.

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I will stop buying his food and laughing at his comments and halt them going forward. I also want to add that he has asked me point blank if I will date him if I was single before. I told him no because I'm against dating co workers because it changes the work place environment and if something happens then you're forced to see that person and I don't want tension at work. He said he understand and see what i mean and back off for a while. Which is true especially considering that fact I've been with the company for 8 years, have build up my senority and have medical benefits. So quitting is not an option which why I try to avoid office romance like plaque

 

The good news is that you have an 8 year rep with your company. If he flirts again, warn him that it makes you uncomfortable and to please stop--then document the day you've told him this.

 

From there, if he does it again, quit dealing with this on your own. You've EARNED an 8 year foundation for your HR department to take such a complaint seriously without doubting you in the least.

 

So if the guy won't quit, let them do what they're paid for.

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Saying you won't date him because he's a coworker implies you WOULD date him if he wasn't a coworker. See how he interprets that?

 

Say "no, I am not interested in dating you" without any qualifiers.

 

But they are co-workers, so what she would do if they weren't shouldn't be a factor in his mind. She has said she is not interested, for whatever reason, so he should be respecting her and backing off. If he isn't that's on him. Most guys would see that and realize that she's trying to be polite and let you down easy. It's not leading him on, it trying to reject someone in a nice way without making it too awkward. She has no control over what he thinks/wants to believe she is saying.

 

Unfortunately, he is choosing to not listen and is seeing things that are not there. So the only alternative is to be firm and let him no, absolutely, that she is not interested and that his behavior towards her is uncalled for.

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I do not enjoy the attention, I usually just find it easier to say I'm not available or don't date co workers which is true than outright saying i'm not interested in dating you. And this usually work in other cases and some men back off and leave it alone. it's not comfortable having a conversation like that for me if i don't have to, so I usually try that and if doesn't work then outright reject them which isn't fun for me. which i have to do in the case unfortunately

 

Hey, most guys would understand what you were saying. Conversations about outright rejections are uncomfortable on both sides. There's nothing wrong with your approach. Unfortunately, some guys have trouble getting the message. They need the blunt rejection for it to stick. Sorry you are going through this and I hope it can finally stick in his brain that you are not interested.

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I do not enjoy the attention, I usually just find it easier to say I'm not available or don't date co workers which is true than outright saying i'm not interested in dating you. And this usually work in other cases and some men back off and leave it alone. it's not comfortable having a conversation like that for me if i don't have to, so I usually try that and if doesn't work then outright reject them which isn't fun for me. which i have to do in the case unfortunately

 

As a man I would much rather prefer you were straight with me instead of making excuses. Sure it stings a little but it is way better than all this drama and uncomfortable crap you are going through isn't it? So a few minutes of uncomfortable conversation or months of fending off his advances, which do your prefer?

 

You don't need to be cruel or hurtful just tell him or any other man "Thank you but you are not my type" Some guys will get butt hurt and say stupid stuff or ask "what is your type then?" Just reply "I am trying to be nice about this, I am just not interested" then walk away.

 

The flirty texts should not have been ignored they should have been answered. "I do not appreciate your flirty texts, please only contact me for work related matters"

 

He obviously cannot take a hint so you need to make it crystal clear.

 

Lost

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