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How Do You Balance Life with Kids?


maritalbliss86
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There's a neighborhood girl, only 4 years old, who is usually unwatched and playing outside. Unfortunately there are cars who sometimes go fast by a road very close by... it's terrifying enough that I don't allow our younger kids (the middle 2) to wander out there without a parent at least in the front to somewhat supervise.

 

Anyway... this 4 yr old seemed to have run away from her house the other night and just came on in with our kids! I like her and am nice to her... I think her mother may be a day-drinking alcoholic :upset: very sad!

 

When her mother came to get her, the girl looked terrified... granted she did practically run away, so I get it she's in trouble, but there was something there that was a dangerous feeling.

 

So sad!!!

 

Anyway, I let the mom know (another night) that the daughter could come over anytime she wanted that it's not a problem at all! Our 5 yr old son adores her and our 3 yr old daughter likes playing with her, too.

 

We'll see how it goes but if she's not wanted or loved at home, I don't mind loving her while she's here with us in the evenings.

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There's a neighborhood girl, only 4 years old, who is usually unwatched and playing outside. Unfortunately there are cars who sometimes go fast by a road very close by... it's terrifying enough that I don't allow our younger kids (the middle 2) to wander out there without a parent at least in the front to somewhat supervise.

 

Anyway... this 4 yr old seemed to have run away from her house the other night and just came on in with our kids! I like her and am nice to her... I think her mother may be a day-drinking alcoholic :upset: very sad!

 

When her mother came to get her, the girl looked terrified... granted she did practically run away, so I get it she's in trouble, but there was something there that was a dangerous feeling.

 

So sad!!!

 

Anyway, I let the mom know (another night) that the daughter could come over anytime she wanted that it's not a problem at all! Our 5 yr old son adores her and our 3 yr old daughter likes playing with her, too.

 

We'll see how it goes but if she's not wanted or loved at home, I don't mind loving her while she's here with us in the evenings.

 

So - my two cents- since you are not the child's mother that could raise some issues should something happen to the child while she is at your home. Also do you mean it's ok if the girl wanders off again and to your house or if the mother brings her over? It sounds like the child is being neglected -scary!

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Yes, I'm sure it could. I would never let our younger kids go over to someone else's house without one of us at that age... I just don't trust random people like that.

 

We don't let her wander back home alone, even though she does try! We make her wait until one of us can walk her back.

 

She's like a stray cat in some ways, very independent and has no one who makes her obey. Just a really awkward situation.

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We met the cutest young couple last night... He's only 21 and I think she's a little younger and they're already married and starting their life out together... reminds me so much of us when we got married so young!

 

UGH they are so cute LOL.... Like babies :D

 

They're from a few thousand miles away, can't go home for Thanksgiving so we invited them to come over if they wanted, or we can bring them so extra food. The wife seems so so sweet and loves kids... I think we're going to have fun getting to know them.

 

I take the kids around the neighborhood and bring people food. So far no one has seemed to mind, and each family we've met this way really enjoys it!

 

One family we met this way is an older couple, the man is a Vet from a past war, and he's just so kind and sweet. Ever since we met them and brought them some food, he's brought our kids GIANT CHOCOLATE MUFFINS almost every week!!

 

He's dying though... a slow and painful death - ugh!!! At least we're getting to know him and his wife in his last days or months and he loves getting the chance to be nice to our kids like this.

 

We'll probably walk down and visit them for Thanksgiving, too. And some other neighbors we're getting to know and love.

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He's only 21 and I think she's a little younger and they're already married

 

UGH they are so cute LOL.... Like babies :D

 

The wife seems so so sweet and loves kids...

 

They are babies. At 21 and (20 or 19 presumably) they are still kids themselves.

 

You really mature very fast in the US. Different worlds. And you have kids so young there, admirable for sure, I am 29 and I am still trying to figure it out.

 

It's great you have a good relationship with your neighbours. No one wants a bad neighbour, makes life miserable.

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We met the cutest young couple last night... He's only 21 and I think she's a little younger and they're already married and starting their life out together... reminds me so much of us when we got married so young!

 

UGH they are so cute LOL.... Like babies :D

 

They're from a few thousand miles away, can't go home for Thanksgiving so we invited them to come over if they wanted, or we can bring them so extra food. The wife seems so so sweet and loves kids... I think we're going to have fun getting to know them.

 

I take the kids around the neighborhood and bring people food. So far no one has seemed to mind, and each family we've met this way really enjoys it!

 

One family we met this way is an older couple, the man is a Vet from a past war, and he's just so kind and sweet. Ever since we met them and brought them some food, he's brought our kids GIANT CHOCOLATE MUFFINS almost every week!!

 

He's dying though... a slow and painful death - ugh!!! At least we're getting to know him and his wife in his last days or months and he loves getting the chance to be nice to our kids like this.

 

We'll probably walk down and visit them for Thanksgiving, too. And some other neighbors we're getting to know and love.

Omg they are younger than my son. Lol

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I met my husband when I was 19 and married him a month after I turned 22. He's a year older. The limo driver who took us to our honeymoon resort called us "kids". Which we were. Our wedding photos looked like junior prom photos. Two baby faces.

 

Obviously the marriage didn't last. But I still look back on the first 5-6 years of our marriage as happy together, for the most part. The kids kept us together for longer than we probably would have without them.

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I met my husband when I was 19 and married him a month after I turned 22. He's a year older. The limo driver who took us to our honeymoon resort called us "kids". Which we were. Our wedding photos looked like junior prom photos. Two baby faces.

 

Obviously the marriage didn't last. But I still look back on the first 5-6 years of our marriage as happy together, for the most part. The kids kept us together for longer than we probably would have without them.

My parents too. They got engaged at 17 and married at 19. I was born when my dad was barely 21 and my mom was 20.

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You really mature very fast in the US. Different worlds. And you have kids so young there, admirable for sure, I am 29 and I am still trying to figure it out.

 

I think the median age in the US that men become fathers these days is around 30—so, hey, maybe not such different worlds.

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My friend's daughter married at 17 when her husband was 19, about 7 years ago. They're happily married with 2 kids so far. U.S.

 

My parents were married in 1965 and divorced in 1972, but my dad was not well mentally. If he had been not abusive they would still be married.

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This from gov.uk

 

"The average age at marriage continued to rise. For marriages of opposite-sex couples, the average (mean) age for men marrying in 2016 was 37.9 years, while for women it was 35.5 years. This was a slight increase for both men and women from the previous year and continued the overall rise recorded since the 1970s.28 Mar 2019"

 

It has become unusual here to marry very young, although some still do. I don't know anyone among our younger relatives who married before age 30. And even in a different generation, my mother was almost 34 when she married, my father 40. First and only marriage.

 

In the U.S. : the average age around the US that people get married hovers between 25 and 30 years old.

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The average age of first marriage is definitely increasing.

 

I'm 31, went to a very small HS so I'm still in contact with a bunch of people. I'd say maybe a bit more than 1/3 of people that I graduated with (my age) are married now. The vast majority who aren't married in long term relationships, like there are only 5 of us who are single at this time.

 

I bet by the time I hit 35 or bit later, most everyone will have married in my group.

 

I feel like by the time I hit 26, most everyone I came into contact with at that age were coupled up (married or not). So maybe the age of first marriage is rising but I do still think that people tend to have serious relationships for years prior.

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Yesterday went well, I only had the turkey to worry about because on Wednesday I had let all the kids get in on helping cook (they LOVE cooking). Each child had their own dish to do their own way... with me helping and supervising of course. That knocks out 3 side dishes in one sitting!

 

Our 3 yr old girl did the green bean casserole since that's the easiest. She loved it, and even started licking the spoon and trying to eat it cold (YIKES! lol) we had to take it away after that and bake it.

 

Our 5 yr old boy did the mashed potatoes.

 

Our 10 yr old did the sweet potato casserole. Everything came out really nice. I tried to slightly broil the marshellow cream we made for the top of the sweet potatoes and unfortunately it ruined the look of the fluffy white cream. I was worried it would taste odd, but thank goodness it tasted fine.

 

So then yesterday was the turkey !!!! I've never done a turkey myself, even my mom always just buys it from somewhere pre-done. But it came out perfect :tongue: even my husband really liked it and said he's never tasted something like that before (I did a salt and sugar rub on the inside of the skin and out, with rosemary and pepper and baked it over carrots, onions and apples. Stuffed the inside with the onions and apple slices, rosemary, thyme, parsley etc.

 

The meat was so good and tender and juicy it was falling off the bone :eek: Our kids are very picky and they actually loved it. So definitely a recipe I'll write down and try to repeat next year.

 

We have tons of left overs... we were wayyyy too tired to walk around last night after everything and the kids wanting to decorate the house inside for Christmas, but hopefully today or this weekend we can see if anyone needs extra food or wants some.

 

Christmas decorating... it's like our kids have turned into little elves, with our oldest as the head elf to direct everyone LOL

 

The railing for the stairs is pretty on it's own, but my oldest (who is an artist hands down) decided to put tree garland with lights running up the banister and then icicle lights cascading down the rails going up and then across. The effect is stunning!

 

He also decorated the top of the black piano with two of our most beautiful nutcrackers... a silvery one with blue stones and silver sparkles and snowflakes on one end, and a gold and white sparkly and sequined nutcracker on the other end. A beautiful ceramic gingerbread house is the centerpiece, and then pictures and tinier things are in between. He didn't overcrowd it and it really looks nice with the nutcrackers pulling it together.

 

I made some potpourri on the stove, just a bit cinnamon, clove and vanilla extract... boil it and then allow it to simmer for 30 minutes and it fills your entire house with most delicious Christmas smell!!!

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The meat was so good and tender and juicy it was falling off the bone :eek: Our kids are very picky and they actually loved it. So definitely a recipe I'll write down and try to repeat next year.

 

Good job!

 

I overcooked my poor turkey--A LOT!! Crazy, because I used to cook the turkey every year when my mom hosted Thanksgiving. I got it right then, just not yesterday!

 

The meat is sooooooo dry. My boyfriend is happy, because he (weirdly) likes overcooked poultry.

 

I also oversalted the stuffing and the gravy. I was really batting a thousand yesterday, lol!

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What an accomplishment! Sounds like a lovely holiday. Enjoy decorating (I've never done it and know many who do!).

 

Oh Batya, even just a strand of lights really makes things joyful! I get it though, it's a lot and then a lot to take down afterward, but I think the lights are my favorite part and they can be fairly subtle :friendly_wink:

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