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Spiritful

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My boyfriend will borrow money from me, and sometimes a lot. He always tells me I have to remind him to pay me back. Absolutely no one else has to remind him to pay them back. I’m the only one that has to remind him. If I don’t, then he will conveniently “forget “ . He pays every one else back with no problem. Opinions please, thank you

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Stop giving him money until he pays back ALL the money he owes you. He said to keep reminding him. So, keep reminding him until he starts paying back. If he doesn't come forth with the money owing then you know exactly what he's really about - a user and a moocher. That's your cue to pack up and leave as he's showibg you his true character and he won't change (imo).

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So your biggest gripe against a boyfriend who seemingly makes a habit of borrowing money from multiple people is that he pays them back quicker than you?

 

I mean you could print out a page of all of us saying he should be paying you back quicker and without solicitation, but at the end of the day you'll still have someone on your hands who's-- at least by your account-- a pretty notorious mooch. And insofar as you're cool with that, I'm not sure what great results you're otherwise expecting.

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You're not at his mercy on this. Put conditions on it.

 

Next time he asks to borrow, ask him when he intends to repay, and tell him that it's on him to remember to repay by that day. If you need to ask him, you'll never lend him money again--and if he doesn't agree, you won't lend this time, either.

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Does he have a computer or phone or device? If so he's capable of setting reminders for himself to repay you. Or he can write it on a to do list. I have both for things I need to remember so that I have a backup, especially if someone is relying on me (i.e. to call, to get something done). He's burdening you unfairly. And you're allowing it -why?

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He borrowed money and puts you in the position to enforce the responsibility of paying it back?

Is he this manipulative in other areas?

Asking people to honor agreements and keep their word is uncomfortable, assbackwords and they know it.

How convenient is it if you aren't paid back, he's now likely made it all your fault?

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A must-have for many people looking for a longterm partner is to choose someone who is financially responsible. Whatever you find stressful now, will grow exponentially over the years, especially if you marry. Expect he will always be like this. Life is expensive. He'll be wanting to borrow from your 401K, and he will either not make enough to meet his own expenses or live beyond his means, and you will be the only responsible one trying to hold everything together. Time to consider if this is how you want to live your one precious life.

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Opinion....

 

1) He has zero respect for you

2) He only sees you as an ATM and knows you are too spineless to dump his azz over this kind of bs behavior

 

Solution:

 

1) Stop giving him money, not even one penny going forward

2) Dump him and find yourself a better bf

3) Work on your self respect so you don't end up "loving" losers like this one

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What's the money for? If I were in your shoes, I'd want to know more about his situation and why he's spending beyond his means. Is he inbetween jobs or unemployed? What is he doing to change his situation? He's abusing your trust by not being more honest or forthright with you if he's not disclosing more info or returning the cash.

 

I'd find it disturbing that he's borrowing from more than one person over a long period of time or what his situation is that requires this sort of exchange. You obviously have a direct say in your own funds and what you do with it. Make sure you know more about the person you're with.

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Not sure your ages or how long you've been dating?

Has he been doing this since the beginning?

What are his reasons for needing to 'borrow' from you?

 

In general, if they cant afford it, they should not be doing or getting it.

IF he has no control over his income and purchases, etc- should not be on YOU.

 

Money can be a BIG problem.. Talk to him about this.

 

Obviously it is getting to you now.. then say so and say no more- Because YOU need your money for your own self.

 

and I dont get why he is also borrowing from others as well? IMO, sounds like he has some problems.. YOu don't need.

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You're not a bank nor a bank loan officer. Your boyfriend is using you to extract money from you and your relationship with him is already abnormal. You shouldn't have to remind him to pay you back, you shouldn't lend money to him in the first place nor should he ask for money from you loan or not. He's taking advantage of you.

 

It's time to replace your boyfriend with a man who knows how to treat you with respect.

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