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Confused and need some help about two people


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Hi, there are two people C and M. The background is that in S2 I started to have feelings for C and he also liked me but I wasn’t ready then. But the thing is I also had feelings for M and I always seemed to crave his attention and have since then for some reason. I’ve never known how he feels about me.

 

Now in S5, C and I started dating, it hadn’t been long, about two weeks, but he likes to move quite fast and can be kinda full on sometimes but I need to take things slower which when I told him, he agreed to. So not long ago he kissed me and I really didn’t like it but I like him? When I hung out in a large group of people I never really felt like I fit in cause I didn’t know how to talk to people and I’m socially awkward but M asked me why I wouldn’t talk so I told him I wasn’t sure how so after that he would talk to me which was nice. The other night I had a really vivid and detailed dream where M and I were flirting, kissed and stuff like that but I was still dating C in the dream as well. At first, in the dream, I knew it was wrong so I tried not to but then I just went with it. I think the feelings for M have always been there but I wasn’t think about them for a bit and now the full on craving for his attention is back.

 

I told my mum about the dream and she said ‘I could have told you that back in S2.’ She told me that it could be my subconscious trying to tell me something but I should try to connect to my emotions more which will help me know what I want and help me make the right decision. It’s something she’s struggled with too. Oh yeah, M and C have also been friends for 10 years.

 

So I was wondering if anyone had any advice?

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Have you heard the expression “falling between 2 stools”?

 

That’s what is going to happen.

 

You are interested in M. M is not interested in you.

C is interested in you. You are not interested in C.

 

M and C are friebds.

 

Have you told C that you are chatting to M?

Has M told C he is chatting to you?

 

If not, when they both find out, neither will be chatting to you and they will remain friends.

 

How old are you??

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Have you heard the expression “falling between 2 stools”?

 

That’s what is going to happen.

 

You are interested in M. M is not interested in you.

C is interested in you. You are not interested in C.

 

M and C are friebds.

 

Have you told C that you are chatting to M?

Has M told C he is chatting to you?

 

If not, when they both find out, neither will be chatting to you and they will remain friends.

 

How old are you??

 

 

I'm 16.

 

I don't actually really talk to M, he would only talk to me a bit and now we don't hang out at the same place and we don't talk outside of school so we haven't talked in a while.

 

The thing is I am still interested in C, so my best option would be to just ignore my feelings for M?

 

Also I'm pretty sure that M knew that C had a crush on me.

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It's fine to have a crush on boys. However don't let anyone be pushy with physical stuff if you are not ready. If you like one of them be friendly, smile, say hi, connect on social media, etc. Talk to them about school, classes, events etc.

 

Keep in mind, some boys like to "go fast" as a game to see if they can "score", even if they don't even like you. Often whatever boys do with a girl will be told to and exaggerated to other boys in order to brag. Talk to some trusted adults about dating.

I'm 16.

 

C likes to move quite fast and can be kinda full on sometimes but I need to take things slower which when I told him, he agreed to. So not long ago he kissed me and I really didn’t like it but I like him?

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Since C and M have had a 10 year friendship, now that you've kissed C, you can never get with M, because that could mess with their friendship. Longterm friendships like that trumps romances.

 

Seems like you're really not into C. You dabbled in your first romance, and didn't even like kissing him, so either you find him attractive but don't have chemistry for him, or you're not ready for that inevitable step in dating, which is okay. Maybe you're resorting to fantasy because it's safer than reality.

 

In your shoes, I'd stop dating a guy I'm not crazy about and just enjoy time with my friends, school, and hobbies for now. Don't get into a mindset that you always have to have a bf in your life. Even though they can bring a lot of joy to one's life, there's also the downside with drama and the romance is often short-lived during the teen years. Take care.

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Why aren't you dating M?! End the relationship with C and spend more time with your friend, M, if that's the case. Don't date right away and get to know this person more. I think you're stuck and afraid of rejection or going after what you really want. So what if M doesn't like you back. It still means that you follow your heart and don't settle for what doesn't make you happy. Don't live your life this way. You seem way too young to be this fearful. Be bold. And please don't ever let someone do something you're not comfortable with.

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Try to answer the following in three seconds, no thought just the first name that comes up. Which is the one that you feel more comfortable around? Which is the one you enjoy talking to more? Which is the one that gives you those butterflies deep down or an extra special smile? There's the answer.

 

Personally, seems like M is the clear choice. You didn't care for kissing C. He moves faster then you are comfortable with. You dream about M. And M was the one being nice and making the effort to talk to you and make you more comfortable. All signs are point to M.

 

Also, don't worry or stress about it. You are young and have plenty of time for romance. Take your time and enjoy it. Don't be afraid to embrace what you feel and savor every moment.

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