I don’t know who I am anymore

[Blue202020]

For the past few years I’ve felt like I’ve lost my identity, I used to say that ‘I don’t feel like myself’ but now I don’t even know what myself is or what it’s supposed to feel like.

 

I feel like I have no purpose here anymore, I just get through each day and week and I’m barely ever happy or excited about my life. I just see everyone around me doing well and having exciting things happen to them but I just never seem to make that progress myself.

 

I just feel like I’m waiting for a train that’s never going to turn up. Think I’ve completely lost all my confidence and drive, I just feel so lost and lonely . Confused about who I am and where I’m going .

[LaHermes]

Can you elaborate Blue20?

 

"I just see everyone around me doing well and having exciting things happen to them "

 

And why do you think these wonderful things are happening to others and not to you?

[Wiseman2]

Are you still see the friend you asked out? Otherwise it may be time to see a doctor for evaluation of low moods, isolation and hopelessness. Also get a referral to a therapist.

 

What is going on in life? At work/school? With friends and family? Do you live at home? What about sports, clubs, groups, interests, sports and volunteering?

Well we met up this week just the two of us . There was definitely a chemistry, she was smiling at me a lot, making lots of eye contact, I felt the same back and just wanted to listen to her all day. I said we should do it more often and she agreed. It sounds such a tiny step but I hope it’s moving in the right direction. We even touched on relationships generally in conversation and it seems we are both looking for something very similar.

[Hollyj]

Do you have a social life? Do you involve yourself in hobbies? Have you addressed your feelings with a therapist?

[LaHermes]

What Holly just asked:

 

"Have you addressed your feelings with a therapist?"

 

You remarked:

 

"but I just never seem to make that progress myself."

 

First of all, do not compare yourself to others.

 

Doing well and "things happening" are the result of effort, always

[SooSad33]

You feel lost.. with no real known reason of things in your life.. I get it.

 

YOu see everyone around you doing well. having good things happen?

first of all- do not compare yourself to anyone else. We go thru life at our own speed.

 

Second.. often what we is, isn't what is.

I know I am not alone when I feel defeated, when I deal with my anxiety.

 

I know some people may have a little jealousy, knowing I have a few kids- but they didn't.

I know some people are out there, feeling just as much pressure as I am- even though they hold a smile :).

 

As for YOUR purpose.. think on it.

Have your helped a friend.. or neighbour? Have you helped someone out with groceries, or taken someone out for an appointment, dr's visit, etc?

Have you given someone a spare loaf of bread or lent someone a shovel, or lawnmower?

 

We all do good things. We all have helped someone out- either physically or emotionally.

 

Maybe, to 'find yourself', you need to 'feel' your own worth.

Maybe, you need to find out that what and who you are is all okay :)

 

I felt out of sorts many times.. but I was finally 'able' to get myself back and get back in the kitchen.

Making real meals

Baking

Making my jams.

 

This year, I am finally learning to crochet- this is my 'new hobby'.

I watch my 80's shows.. I listen to my music.

 

I go out for some air a cpl times a week, I meet with a friend for tea every week or so.

 

ALL of these things is something for ME. Is what I like.. Is how I am.

 

Don't wait on a train.. dig deep, find what you are.. If even to just sit for a few days and colour.. or draw.. or eat.

Itis okay :).

 

IF you feel you are really low.. maybe depression? Make an apt and go see your doctor.

No one likes to sit in a negative for too long.

[Cherylyn]

I'm sorry you're feeling so blue. Would it be possible to change your life? Can you do something about it such as surround yourself (safely) with moral friends, family, exercise, eat right, enjoy hobbies, engage in intellectual pursuits and have a well rounded life?

[LaHermes]

Can you answer the questions being asked here?

 

The whys?

[ShySoul]

I've felt just like you on more days then you would think possible. I've asked myself a million questions to figure out why I'm here and who I am. I've gone through the depths of despair, to hell and back. There have been days when I feel that everyone around me is happy and have everything while I'll never have anything at all. And all I can do is cry. Sometimes, that seems pointless and I can't even do that.

 

But when I'm at my lowest points, I actually find it helps to step asking questions. I stop looking at everyone else and what they say or do. Instead I listen. I'm of the belief that somewhere inside us we innately know who we are and what we want in life. The hard part is drowning out all the distractions and listening to that voice inside. What is it that always brings a smile to your face? What inspires you when all else fails? Don't think to hard, go with your gut, your instant reaction. Once you find it, pursue it with all you have. For me, it's always come down to wanting to help people. So I try to do so in any small way I can, even if it's just a kind word of support.

 

Also know that there is no right way to feel. Everyone feels depressed at times. It can be healthy to question yourself, so long as you don't get stuck in an endless spiral of doubt. Embrace all emotions, they are a part of you. It's okay to be down. But then pick yourself up and push forward, one day at a time.

 

You're not alone in your struggles. You are strong and better days will come for you. If you need anything, we're here for you.