He lied about loving me ? He does not anything to do with me anymore ?

[futuruna]

We have been sleeping together for three years. For a year now he has asking me if I am in love with him and I said no every time. Several times he accidentally said he loves me(I mean on purpose to see my reaction)but I did not answer anything so ce corrected himself.

Two months ago he asked me again if I love him, I said yes. He was suspicious but he also said he loves me. That I am his love. He kept asking me why I did not want to be his girlfriend, to be in a relationship.

We saw each other one night, we drank a couple of drinks. He told me he loves me. While we were together he asked me if I wanted to get pregnant, to be his wife, I did not answer him anything. He asked me a copule of times to be his wife. He asked me do I only love sex with him or do I love him, I said both. The next time we saw each other, he asked me if I want to have a child, I said I was not ready. After that, he was colder towards me.

Last time we saw each other, I joked how he is busy becuse of job, he said he do not have time to have a girlfriend. He said that one girl maybe will be his girlfriend. I aksed him why he told me he loves me if he wants to be with another girl. And he said that I am not serious (serious about him) that I do not call him, and that he loves me as a person.

Where did that change come from ? Why is he telling me about another girl ? He does not want anything to do with me anymore ? He lied about loving me ?

[Wiseman2]

Are you dating or just fwb/hooking up? Are either of you in other relationships? Why are you talking about babies if you are this unsure of each other?

 

Perhaps you would feel better oif you were with someone you loved or at least had time for each other.

We have been sleeping together for three years. For a year now he has asking me if I am in love with him and I said no every time.

Last time we saw each other, I joked how he is busy becuse of job, he said he do not have time to have a girlfriend.

[futuruna]

We are fwb, he asked for relationship. I said I love him, he knows that. I do not know what to think. He said that he loves me, that I am his love, only love and know he said that he loves me as a person.

[Wiseman2]

Stop talking about babies and getting pregnant. It's silly if either or both of you have such difficulty even saying you are in love or in any sort of relationship. Is he married? Are you?

 

What do you want with him? dating? bf/gf? or random sex and getting drunk and talking about making babies?

We are fwb,

[futuruna]

Are you dating or just fwb/hooking up? Are either of you in other relationships? Why are you talking about babies if you are this unsure of each other?

 

Perhaps you would feel better oif you were with someone you loved or at least had time for each other.

 

We are fwb, he asked for relationship. I said I love him, he knows that. I do not know what to think. He said that he loves me, that I am his love, only love and know he said that he loves me as a person.

[HeartGoesOn]

Other than being FWBs, what has he done besides "talking the talk" to show he's interested in a relationship? Have you actually dated/gone to public places together?

[Rose Mosse]

He's toying with you. Find a grown decent and respectful man who treats you well, not someone like this. I think he was offended by your sensibilities and reserve. Let it go. There are people out there who won't treat you like a giant walking ovary or will ask you out to a decent lunch or dinner and be bold enough to propose that you both be in a monogamous relationship. Don't settle for so little.

[futuruna]

He's toying with you. Find a grown decent and respectful man who treats you well, not someone like this. I think he was offended by your sensibilities and reserve. Let it go. There are people out there who won't treat you like a giant walking ovary or will ask you out to a decent lunch or dinner and be bold enough to propose that you both be in a monogamous relationship. Don't settle for so little.

 

He has been asking me to be his girlfriend for one year. He called me many times to go for a drink, and we did. He fine, but sometimes he is mad at me because I do not do what he wants.

[futuruna]

Other than being FWBs, what has he done besides "talking the talk" to show he's interested in a relationship? Have you actually dated/gone to public places together?

 

Yes, we did. He called me many times to go for a drink, do things together. He wanted to spend more times together, travel together...

[Batya33]

He has been asking me to be his girlfriend for one year. He called me many times to go for a drink, and we did. He fine, but sometimes he is mad at me because I do not do what he wants.

 

Were you close friends before you started having sex or is this a sexual arrangement and he is now asking you to be in a relationship with him?

[Rose Mosse]

He has been asking me to be his girlfriend for one year. He called me many times to go for a drink, and we did. He fine, but sometimes he is mad at me because I do not do what he wants.

 

How can you not know what he wants if he's asked you many times to be in a relationship with him?

 

If you're reluctant to move forwards with this, whatever your reasons, just be honest about it(with yourself too) and let him go. There's no point keeping someone around whom you claim to love but aren't able to be in a relationship with. He wants more out of you and you're not agreeing to it. Let him go. I think it's the kindest thing to do.

[futuruna]

How can you not know what he wants if he's asked you many times to be in a relationship with him?

 

If you're reluctant to move forwards with this, whatever your reasons, just be honest about it(with yourself too) and let him go. There's no point keeping someone around whom you claim to love but aren't able to be in a relationship with. He wants more out of you and you're not agreeing to it. Let him go. I think it's the kindest thing to do.

 

I know that, but why he said that he loves me as a person ?

[Lambert]

I know that, but why he said that he loves me as a person ?

 

Only be knows what he actually means. But it sounds to me that he loves you as person but he's no longer interested in a romantic relationship with you.

 

You can keep pushing a person away and expect them to stick around. If you don't want the same thing, let him go... It in this case he decided to let you go.

[futuruna]

Were you close friends before you started having sex or is this a sexual arrangement and he is now asking you to be in a relationship with him?

 

We had sex in the beggining, and now he wants to be in a relationship. Now I do not know, he asked me before, he thinks that I do not want. But why he said that he loves me as a person ?

[Batya33]

We had sex in the beggining, and now he wants to be in a relationship. Now I do not know, he asked me before, he thinks that I do not want. But why he said that he loves me as a person ?

 

Oh ok so it's not FWB -he was a person you decided to have casual sex with and he wanted that too. If you are comfortable having intercourse with him then I think you should be comfortable asking him directly and simply with no apology "what are your intentions about us" or "what do you want for us" - he will know exactly what you mean if he wants to be with you other than to have intercourse with you. If you want to be in an exclusive relationship with him that is what I would do. If you just want to know for your ego I wouldn't ask and continue your sexual arrangement if that is fun for you. I agree that if you declined to be in a relationship with him he likely won't be comfortable asking. He might say sweet words about love but his actions - continuing to have casual sex with you - show that he is comfortable having sex with you when he's in the mood, without a commitment.

[catfeeder]

I don't understand why it's confusing that an FWB doesn't amount to much, especially after 3 years.

 

Decide where you stand on what YOU want. Then operate from there to get it. If that means wanting a relationship, then don't mess with anyone who doesn't want the same thing.

 

If what you want is NOT a relationship, then anything you say or do that mimics a relationship won't be taken or treated very seriously.

[MissCanuck]

You’re not making any sense, OP.

 

He’s told you he wants a relationship with you. He’s told you he loves you. You seem to be the one resisting getting any closer to him, but questioning why he says he loves you as a person. If you don’t want to be his girlfriend, speak up and say so.

 

Do you get some sort of ego kick out of this?

[SooSad33]

He kept telling you how he felt for you, but was not getting the same back.. and he was trying to consider & see a future with you... but you did not seem to show him the same, so sounds like he gave up with you.- No future- like you were going down different paths.

Besides, the way YOU are talking, you just saw him to sleep with him, did not seem interested in a real relationship.

So, dont worry about his 'lies' about love. When you were the one who did not feel it.

 

Leave him be now.

[pippy longstocking]

Only be knows what he actually means. But it sounds to me that he loves you as person but he's no longer interested in a romantic relationship with you.

 

You can keep pushing a person away and expect them to stick around. If you don't want the same thing, let him go... It in this case he decided to let you go.

 

I don't know if I fully believe this thread is the real deal ....just the way you keep saying the same thing over and over ..

 

However , lets say it is then Lamberts' answer covers it for me .

[Capricorn3]

He's messing with your head. Loving you as a person is another way of saying "You're not relationship material, but FWB will still be good when it suits me". You're a convenience. Whatever you do, do NOT get pregnant with this guy, as you'll find yourself being a single mother and he'll conveniently disappear.

 

You two are a bad match. Time to let go and move on.

[Tinydance]

If you don't want to be in a relationship though then why do you care if it's over? You're just sad to see the sex go?

[Batya33]

If you don't want to be in a relationship though then why do you care if it's over? You're just sad to see the sex go?

 

Tinydance, I agree and I was looking forward to seeing what you had to say -love how you get to the point!!

[boltnrun]

You kept telling him no. What was he supposed to do?

[maew]

You kept telling him no. What was he supposed to do?

 

Exactly. I imagine he has finally gotten sick and tired of being rejected and is ready for an actual relationship... Are you just mad now because he is finally taking you at your word and moving on?

[abitbroken]

You kept telling him no. What was he supposed to do?

 

AGREE

 

he asked you to be his girlfriend for a YEAR and you kept saying no.

He was throwing out his last attempts.

 

Because you kept saying no, but still sleeping with him it got to be confusing and he started to check out and take the cold splash of water that all you wanted to be is a sex buddy. He told you he loves you AS A PERSON because the ship has sailed on being his girlfriend.