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Hi there

 

Well this has been an ongoing issue hence the reason why this is starting to get to me. I know this has annoyed others who i have worked with as i work in a notorious y profession.

Well I just hate it when i am saying something to someone and they stare at someone when I am saying it like I am stupid. Like today, i was telling someone my view on something and the b*tch i can't stand just stared at him like i am stupid or something. Thank god she is leaving in 4 weeks.

I do have low self esteem and confidence and i am working on it but i hate this passive aggressive behaviour. Like if i disagree with someone they will look at their team mate like i am stupid.

I get so upset by this and feel like addressing it but how can i ask someone not to look at other people? Lol. I have spoke to colleagues who have said 'aw i hate it when people do that'. I even had a student cry to me about this kind of behaviour.

Any advice appreciated.

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Excellent. Keep working with your doctors and therapists about the ongoing feelings of everyone around you being "toxic", or "abusive" or "bullying", etc. Often untreated/undiagnosed mood or other issues can cause this type of begrudged, chronically hostile, angry feelings toward everyone.

I do have low self esteem and confidence and i am working on it

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We all have those kinds of days. Don't you think you're being a little harsh on yourself? I have some days I can't get over why x had to happen, you sleep it off and it fades the next day. Don't struggle or beat yourself up so much in the process. I think that's part of feeling good about yourself also.

 

There are very poor or mismanaged work environments. If it's not working for you or holding you back in your career, maybe it's time to think of changing things. If you can't change it or opportunities are limited, limit your time spent around these people at work. If there are unnecessary work meetings that are just socials (non mandatory), don't go if you can opt out.

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I am not sure if this is really 'bullying', because someone is giving another person 'that look'.

They are not constantly going at you, insulting you, degrading you, etc.

 

But, you are really bothered because of that one 'Btch',, i get it :/... and also, you know you struggle with self esteem etc.

 

Good thing is she is leaving! :). Could possibly be so much as SHE is the plain instigator? Then good, she be gone.

 

See IF things improve some after she is gone.. If not, can you try another spot in the business (location)? or something?

 

If not, as mentioned,, consider looking for another job?

 

If we do not plain out, feel good around our workplace, that will, for sure cause a deep impact on us :/.

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She's leaving in 4 weeks.

 

Learn to ignore whenever anyone stares at someone when you're talking. When you ignore, your confidence and self esteem will grow. When I was younger, I preoccupied myself with what others thought of me. I don't do that anymore. I go my own way and when you do, you'll become more comfortable within your own skin.

 

Don't care what others think. They couldn't care less. Everyone has troubles of their own and they don't care about you. Be more shrewd, change the way you think and you will be brave.

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There are literally a million and one reasons that have NOTHING to do with you regarding why a person you are talking to isn't looking at you. You are, in fact, projecting your negative feelings about yourself, your insecurities and sense of inferiority onto that person and, as a result, YOU are making YOUR life miserable. The person looking away isn't thinking that much about you.

 

Yes, you do need to work on yourself and your emotional issues and instability. There really comes a point where it's not the people around you, it's just you. Consider some behavioral modification therapy as you really do need to work on rewiring how you think and perceive the world around you. It's hard work, but you might find it worthwhile as it will make the quality of your life so much better. It can't be fun to be so caught up in the idea that the world is out to get you and disrespect you all the time.

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Like today, i was telling someone my view on something and

 

Unless it's about making a contribution to a work process, I'd reconsider why it's important for anyone on the job to know my views on anything.

 

Once I grasped that work is not a therapeutic environment, I depersonalized it and operated to the best of my professional ability while keeping my social life out of it. I learned that I actually enjoy what I do, even while the social gap that I created allowed others to consider me through a professional lens--and this built respect over time.

 

This doesn't mean we can't enjoy our work environment or our teammates. We can be pleasant and kind--always--without imposing our private selves on those transactions.

 

Taking a popularity contest out of our work hours is actually very liberating. It allows us to invest our social and emotional time into people who have earned the privilege even while we respect the limits of others on our jobs.

 

See if you find this approach less dicey. You may end up thanking yourself later.

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Be glad it's not your boss making personal judgments about you or trying to force their opinion onto the group.....

 

If you find someone making judgments about you at work, simply don't interact with them anymore than you have to. Keep it just to work topics and then walk away. No one can force you to socialize so why be around a person who just makes you upset? Stick to interacting only with those you actually are comfortable with and trust. As long as you nice and professional to everyone else, no one can have a problem with it. And if they do, realize that is a reflection on them, not on you.

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