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Need advice for girlfriend troubles

foxmaster300

By foxmaster300
in Relationship Advice

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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Where to start...iv been with my girlfriend for about two years now normally everything is all good and as of last summer(July 2019) we came into some money to get our own place together. The problem is for the past year she’s the one that sets the moving date but never sticks to it on her end. She always makes up an excuse that she’s sick or has some family issue to fix or something is wrong. It’s always the same thing and it always happens the day we have everything set to go. Then recently iv found out certain things about her from her friends and when I confront her about these things she STILL tries to hide them from me. So idk how to talk to her about some of these things. What should I do with this situation? I don’t feel that she’s using me or lying to me but my friends think something is up. Please help

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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What is it she’s hiding from you?

 

Stuff about her kids she’s got two little girls. They live with her exes family and she’s been trying to get full custody of them but she’s always telling me she has them with her when their not. She also hid the fact that her and her “roommate” dated a few years ago and I don’t know the guy like that either she won’t let me meet him

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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It is very simple, OP. She does not wish to move in with you.

 

"She always makes up an excuse that she’s sick or has some family issue to fix or something is wrong. "

 

The end of this road is in sight, OP. You don't need these complications.

 

That’s where things are complicated...she shows me proof of everything she’ll take pics at the doctors or show me messages from her family. So I can see she’s not lying to me but it’s like I’m tired of waiting around her family doesn’t live that far from me at all so there shouldn’t be problems

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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Sorry to hear this. Where do you live now? Where does she live? Did you buy a place together? How often have you visited her home?

 

Why doesn't she have custody of her kids? Was she a teen mother? Where is the father? Are there drug problems? Does she work? It seems odd that she isn't leveling with you.

Stuff about her kids she’s got two little girls. They live with her exes family and she’s been trying to get full custody of them but she’s always telling me she has them with her when their not. She also hid the fact that her and her “roommate” dated a few years ago and I don’t know the guy like that either she won’t let me meet him
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Rose Mosse Grand Master

Rose Mosse

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Put the brakes on and don't panic. If you don't move the relationship forward it doesn't go anywhere (this means buying anything except lunch or maybe dinner together). Leave some time for the both of you to figure things out and let the custody issues sort themselves out.

 

The photographs and lies are manipulative, as are all the failed expectations and lead ups to nowhere. I hope you realize this. Keep telling yourself that you shouldn't be with a woman who manipulates situations for any reason.

 

Always remember that you can't lose someone whom you were never meant to be with in the first place. If she's not the right person, so be it. Be willing to cut your losses and make peace that she's not the one for you.

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Cherylyn Grand Master

Cherylyn

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Something doesn't add up and she sounds like a flake. She is mysterious to the point of disturbing. I'd feel uneasy just as you are because she's hiding something. If you're uncomfortable with your girlfriend after 2 years, your relationship with her is abnormal and definitely not blissful.

 

Either get clear cut answers and schedule commitments from her or ask yourself how much longer you're willing to have no changes in your relationship. Then you determine which trajectory is right for you.

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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Sorry to hear this. Where do you live now? Where does she live? Did you buy a place together? How often have you visited her home?

 

Why doesn't she have custody of her kids? Was she a teen mother? Where is the father? Are there drug problems? Does she work? It seems odd that she isn't leveling with you.

 

I’m still living with my family and she’s still living with her roommate. And ya she was a teen mom had her first at 16 and second at 18. The real father isn’t around he’s in jail and they live with her ex boyfriend’s family I guess they adopted them and she moved away to get herself figured out.

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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Something doesn't add up and she sounds like a flake. She is mysterious to the point of disturbing. I'd feel uneasy just as you are because she's hiding something. If you're uncomfortable with your girlfriend after 2 years, your relationship with her is abnormal and definitely not blissful.

 

Either get clear cut answers and schedule commitments from her or ask yourself how much longer you're willing to have no changes in your relationship. Then you determine which trajectory is right for you.

 

She knows iv been tired of her flaking out. I already explained to her that I’m going to start looking for places and doing things on my own without her and she starts feeling really bad because she’s always pushing me back. Her family apparently is holding onto the money that was made for the place but a lot of it is money that came from my end. I’m honestly half tempted to ask for my cut back and get my together on my own

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DancingFool Grand Master

DancingFool

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That’s where things are complicated...she shows me proof of everything she’ll take pics at the doctors or show me messages from her family. So I can see she’s not lying to me but it’s like I’m tired of waiting around her family doesn’t live that far from me at all so there shouldn’t be problems

 

No, it's not complicated at all.

 

The BEST lies always have an element of truth to them. Her sending pics of being at the doctor's have zero relevance to the things that she IS hiding from you. Also, the very fact that she is sending those pics is messed up af. Sane people in sane relationships have NO need to behave like that.

 

Bottom line is that you are in total denial that this woman is playing you like a violin.

 

Wake up and face reality and get the heck away from this psycho who is leading a double life and isn't even bothering to hide the fact that hard from you.

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Rose Mosse Grand Master

Rose Mosse

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Yes, please have your portion of the money returned to you. Buy your own home and do not pursue a future with this woman. Her family will continue to have her best interests for her and hold onto your portion because they will hope and want a more stable future for her and you appear to be their daughter's ticket but she has to work out the custody agreements with the father of her kids and sort out co-parenting agreements with the grandparents.

 

Stick it out on your own and wait for the right time with this woman (several years down the line until you both mature or have your situations sorted) or end the relationship and move on to create a life with a different person.

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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Yes, please have your portion of the money returned to you. Buy your own home and do not pursue a future with this woman. Her family will continue to have her best interests for her and hold onto your portion because they will hope and want a more stable future for her and you appear to be their daughter's ticket but she has to work out the custody agreements with the father of her kids and sort out co-parenting agreements with the grandparents.

 

Stick it out on your own and wait for the right time with this woman (several years down the line until you both mature or have your situations sorted) or end the relationship and move on to create a life with a different person.

 

Iv honestly gotten to the point of walking away myself. I know the lies and I know she hides stuff she says there are certain reasons why she won’t tell me these things just yet. But I’m like if we’re getting a place shouldn’t these things be told to me already

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Rose Mosse Grand Master

Rose Mosse

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Iv honestly gotten to the point of walking away myself. I know the lies and I know she hides stuff she says there are certain reasons why she won’t tell me these things just yet. But I’m like if we’re getting a place shouldn’t these things be told to me already

 

I have to ask where is your family in all this. I think the situation is unfairly in her favour with her family pulling the strings and controlling the funds. Turn the situation around and imagine that it's your child (your son) dating a woman like this. What is the advice you would give to your son?

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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I have to ask where is your family in all this. I think the situation is unfairly in her favour with her family pulling the strings and controlling the funds. Turn the situation around and imagine that it's your child (your son) dating a woman like this. What is the advice you would give to your son?

 

My family knows about the money and everything. They don’t know that her family is helping save it or what it’s for. Right now my family is more focused on wanting to meet her and see what type of person she is

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boltnrun Grand Master

boltnrun

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Nope never she’s usually the one to try and come to me everytime I ask to go see her she changes plans

 

Probably because it would be too much trouble for her to get her "roommate's" things out of the bedroom they both sleep in.

 

Please, get your money back and date locally from now on.

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foxmaster300 Apprentice

foxmaster300

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Probably because it would be too much trouble for her to get her "roommate's" things out of the bedroom they both sleep in.

 

Please, get your money back and date locally from now on.

 

Already in the process of getting my stuff back. As for the roommate apparently he wants to talk with me 🤷🏽♂️but has never once contacted me and for dating locally I’m not up for that in my area [emoji28]girls here aren’t very...good lol

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