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I have a hard time figuring out if a Girl is into me


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heyy all,

 

To start things off, I am not that well known with Girls and what the signs are.

 

At my school there were two girls I've never talked to, but I knew from some of her friends that one of them had a crush on me. Eventually they asked to hang out with me and one friend, but that day I had a feeling her friend was more into me and I had none to less signs from the girl that supposed to had a crush on me. For example, we ran away from a strange situation and she grabbed my arm and told me it was a scary situation, the friend of the girl who would supposed to have a crush on me.

 

after this I added her on snapchat and later on we talked and had some good conversations, we later on went to a movie with my friend and both of the girls and that night we had a conv for 1/2 hours midnight. I recongized some signs, such as going through my hair a bit or fixing it when there was nothing to fix. We hang out two more times after this, one with a group and one with just the 4 of us again. Both these times we talked a lot to eachother and had an amazing time, she was really engaged in the conversation.

 

But where the problem is, is that she is so different on social media then in real life. It seems like she was first more active with me on social media then now, nowadays I am the one who needs to start the conversation on social media or making sure the conversation doesn't die out. So one moment im thinking, ''yea this might be something'' while a day later I rethink the whole thing because of social media. I know this might sound stupid, just need some advice. I also try to put out snaps on snapchat that are easy to respond to, to see if she starts a conversation. But this happens so so so little.

 

Also I hear some say that touching is a sign, idk if this counts as it but one time a friend grabbed me and hold me. She walks by and suddenly starts punching me gently and messing up my hair. Also mid conversation when someone says something funny, she might sometimes tap my knee as a reaction. Not gently, but more kinda slapping.

 

I was also thinking about the fact that she maybe doesn't know what to do looking at her friend, what if she still has a crush on me, maybe thats why she is a bit slowing down or something. Although I had no really good one to one conversation with that girl that would supposed to have a crush on me.

 

any thoughts would help me in this situation

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The best way to find out is to ask her out on a date. If she declines, you can stop wasting time in the friend zone and move on to other girls.

 

Iv'e only seen her a couple of times, I feel I need some more time to see how things are. Like on social media I aint getting these sings.

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If you wait around for "signs" (which is subjective and inaccurate) you will tiptoe yourself right into the friendzone. What's wrong with going for coffee to see what the response is?

 

If you are very shy and create these catch-22s of you needing definitive "signs" before you step up, you aren't going to have many dates. The first step in dating is to learn to deal with some rejection. That means, you ask someone for coffee, whatever, they say no, you brush it off and move on.

 

Social media is not dating nor is it a "sign" of anything. It sounds more like you are shy/afraid and stalling. While you're doing that and scanning social media for "signs", some guys are asking her on dates and they will be the ones who she'll get together with.

 

If you hide in the background behind social media you'll disappear from her mind.

Iv'e only seen her a couple of times, I feel I need some more time to see how things are. Like on social media I aint getting these sings.
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Speaking as a woman, it's frustrating to be waiting around to be asked out by a crush. She might've been excited to communicate with you at the beginning when she thought you'd soon be asking her out one-on-one, but when that didn't happen, she's not putting in effort anymore because she doesn't want to be friends. She wanted more. Just a guess.

 

Simply tell her you'd like to take her to dinner on a particular day. Her response will tell you all you need to know. If she already has plans, a woman who is interested will always ask you for alternate plans. If she just says she's busy and leaves it at that, she's not interested. Even if she isn't interested, feel good you took a risk and then you can emotionally move on to someone who is interested. Wiseman is correct that you are being so slow that another smart man might be first to snap up a pretty, available woman while you are trying to decipher messages from behind a screen.

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Speak with her as you would with a friend. You appear very intimidated. The worst that can happen is she stutters and says no or laughs nervously or looks shifty or uncomfortable. If that happens just apologize for misunderstanding and ask her how her day is going so far. Don't let awkwardness get in the way of asking someone out. She's human just like you and is probably wondering the same things.

 

From her mannerisms, she appears interested to me. You all seem a bit young. I don't know how young (under 18?). Going out doesn't have to be an elaborate affair. Just ask her if she'd like to share some fries at lunch or go for a walk after school.

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Who are YOU interested in? Her? Then don't worry about the other gal.

As for social media.. ignore all of that! Focus on how she is for real, around you. Many 'act out' online.

 

Questioning in your mind IF she is truly into you? Ask her to go stuff with just you and see how she is with you.

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Speak with her as you would with a friend. You appear very intimidated. The worst that can happen is she stutters and says no or laughs nervously or looks shifty or uncomfortable. If that happens just apologize for misunderstanding and ask her how her day is going so far. Don't let awkwardness get in the way of asking someone out. She's human just like you and is probably wondering the same things.

 

From her mannerisms, she appears interested to me. You all seem a bit young. I don't know how young (under 18?). Going out doesn't have to be an elaborate affair. Just ask her if she'd like to share some fries at lunch or go for a walk after school.

 

Yea both under 18, im fresh in this dating and flirting stuff. Still its a step to take to ask her out, like I dont know her for that long tho. We've seen eachother now 4/5 times. I dont know, I just want to know if she has the same feelings about me as I have for her, and yes asking her out is the way to know. But I just feel its not ready yet, might sound weird idk.

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Yea both under 18, im fresh in this dating and flirting stuff. Still its a step to take to ask her out, like I dont know her for that long tho. We've seen eachother now 4/5 times. I dont know, I just want to know if she has the same feelings about me as I have for her, and yes asking her out is the way to know. But I just feel its not ready yet, might sound weird idk.

 

Just speak with her as a friend. Not everyone wants to date in highschool either. Her parents might not allow it either so being cautious isn't a bad idea. You're not going to know unless you spend more time with her but just keep in mind she may not see you the same way or be allowed to date yet. Enjoy chatting and getting to know each other more. You'll know then if there's some romantic chemistry there.

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Ok start smiling, saying hi and start some small talk about classes, etc. In the US, Europe, etc. plenty of high school aged teens date, for example prom etc.

 

You have to start somewhere and being friendly, outgoing and making yourself approachable are the first few steps in gaining confidence with girls. Lurking on social media but not smiling or saying hi or talking can end you up in the creepzone, so stop doing that.

Yea both under 18, im fresh in this dating and flirting stuff.
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Relationships are not lived via social media. Sure, they can be good ways to stay in touch if you can't be together in person. But it's nothing compared to what you experience in person. Plus, on social media it's a constant barrage of whatever the latest post, or tweet, or instagram pic, or tiktok video, or whatever else you kids are doing these days. Things don't stick as much when you scroll to the next thing. In person, you can take the time to really enjoy each others company free of added distractions. There's also the chance she's just not big on social media or that her personality and comfort level changes with that medium.

 

Take it offline and spend more time in person. Be a friend and just hang out together. When you did, she was giving plenty of indication she likes you. So just keep doing what you were doing, it was working. Don't be afraid to see where it goes.

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