Rose Mosse Posted September 16, 2020 Share Posted September 16, 2020 How much did you tell her about yourself? You both spent a lot of time together even though it was one date. Were you compatible in terms of interests, where you're at in life, kids, commitments, prior obligations, how free or independent (not hung up about an ex) you both are? Are you similar intellectually or can you hold decent conversations? Usually a person can figure out all this information within the first date or two and make a decision on whether there's enough to go on. Earlier this year I went on a date with someone who was compatible with me on paper but outside of that it seemed like he had some issues with his self-esteem as he kept referencing material possessions - his boat, his Vespa, his house, his other house. I got a bit distracted and asked about his dogs then and he continued to talk about his bikes as he owns several bikes. I changed the conversation then to his vacation plans and we ended up having a decent conversation about travel and other experiences. Nowhere in there did I get the idea that this person was in the right headspace for a relationship and he said it himself at the end of the date which is completely fine. When he came back three weeks later after vacation, I wasn't interested in meeting with him again. It was a good time and we had a lot of fun but I already knew this person wasn't going to be the right person for me. I still think you can be thankful that she was honest with you and didn't see things moving forward. Sometimes we may not not always understand why but that's okay too. Don't take it so personally even if it appears on the surface that you have a lot in common, your perspectives or the way you regard some issues or topics may be dissimilar. I'm curious - did she leave you to talk a lot or did she contribute to any of the conversations? Link to comment
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