Should I put up of with it?

[Loralora]

Sounds like a war, not a marriage. You don't have time for therapists because you waste all your time on kindergarten revenge schemes and making lists.

 

As expected he just respond to that silly list with "ok", probably while having coffee with the nurse and rolling his eyes.

 

We'll talk about it today. He will be here in about an hour while I'm busy cooking, cleaning and taking care of our baby.

[LaHermes]

I can only endorse what you say Wiseman. A war, not a marriage.

 

OP. The majority of the posters here have given you good sound advice.

 

However, we can lead you to the water but we can't make you drink it. Such is your utter fear of "what will people say/think" that you will not take practical action, not matter how we say it.

 

All this is so completely beside the point OP:

 

"I told him: if you think your behaviour is okay and I'm wrong. He often says I'm to conservative.

I told him if you can't change your ways and you think everything you do is okay then we are truly not compatible and you should find someone more liberal like yourself.

 

The problem is (at least I think it is) that he thinks the same as I do and If I would do what he did it would bother him too."

 

You can read his phone but you sure cannot read his mind OP. You have no idea whatsoever of what he THINKS!

 

So, I'll conclude by simply saying: Do what you like

[Wiseman2]

Since your identity is being a martyr and masochist, not much will change.

 

He'll come home listen to you complain,threaten, ply your fake ultimatums think to himself "ho hum here we go again", then just go back to how he is.

We'll talk about it today. He will be here in about an hour while I'm busy cooking, cleaning and taking care of our baby.

[Loralora]

Since your identity is being a martyr and masochist, not much will change.

 

He'll come home listen to you complain,threaten, ply your fake ultimatums think to himself "ho hum here we go again", then just go back to how he is.

 

Hey I didn't force him to stay. I specifically asked him to leave and let me think. He's the one who choose to stay so I don't care if that's what he thinks.

 

If I decide to move on, I will not continue to nagg.

 

This time I was very serious there weren't any "fake" ultimatums set. I asked him to leave he didn't. I asked him several times. I wanted to go to an appartment that my dad bought for me but one of his friends is staying there. I told him to tell his friend to free the apartment and be didn't do that either.

I wanted to leave but there weren't options for me to go anywhere due to covid.

A person doesn't just get a divorce before thinking about it or separating physically at first.

 

By the way he called me and told me he's going out with friends and he'll be a little late. I never stopped him from going out with friends. He does this very often.

 

And if he goes back to the way he was it's his loss he knows I won't put up with it again. It's truly his loss. I just cleaned the apparment changed, fed the baby, cooked a chicken with potatoes while still communicating with you guys. If he can't appreciate what I do then someone else will.

 

The reason I wrote about this issue in this forum was to ask you all am I wrong about telling him to not have coffee with this nurse.

 

And I am not a masochist !!!

[Rose Mosse]

I know you're feeling down but I'm having trouble understanding why you texted him the list. It's hurtful also to be on the receiving end of something like that at work. As disrespectful as he has been towards you in your marriage, there should be some respect for each others' occupations. I think there's still too much of a mix with personal and professional. Don't send anymore texts or lists - it will drive you both further apart. He's avoiding you now and the levels of contempt are very high between the both of you. This will get harder and harder to repair or come back from.

 

Don't do anything else anymore. This would be for yourself and your sense of peace. With all your duties as a mum and at work, it's probably hard for you too to absorb the magnitude of what's happening in your marriage and sometimes we don't realize it until it's too late. You mentioned giving it a last try previously but this is making things worse.

 

Separation shouldn't be used as a tool to bring a marriage back together especially if the marriage doesn't have as much understanding between two parties. There are generally two types of separation. One that seeks to end the marriage with no intention to reconcile and second, one that acts as a trial separation where two parties equally and mutually agree to part ways but remain in contact, with the idea of staying committed to the marriage and living together again. If you both separate while things are as broken and heated as they are now, the chances for reconciliation later are slim. In other words, every action you take now will affect an outcome later. Making any moves right now might hurt you and your family more.

[bluecastle]

No one here can say that you were "wrong" to tell him not to have coffee with the nurse. What I'd ask is: Do you want to be someone—in a relationship, in your skin—who polices another adult? Does that bring pleasure or pain? Lift you up or bring you down? Do you want to trust to be an eternal test, or something built—and, when needed, repaired—together? When you look at the only person here that you have any control over—yourself—are you content in the habits you've developed as person, and partner, while living your life with and alongside this person? Is there anything you would like to do differently, along with all the things you'd like him to do differently?

 

Giving yourself some time to mull over such questions, I think, may offer more peace than serving someone with a pointed list and seeing how they handle the spin on the ball.

 

Being frank, the impression I get is that your distrust of him is a source of deep comfort, to such an extent that I'm not sure if trust has ever been a genuine component of your bond. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming this is the same man you wrote about in 2017, when things were five months in, and when, following a car accident that happened to occur on his ex's birthday, you logged onto his Facebook account, read his messages, and then asked him after the accident if he was "over" his ex. That, to me, is what it looks like to build a foundation on contempt and distrust, rather than compassion and trust. Draw a line from then to now, and the limitations of such a foundation are apparent. It's simply too weak to contain two adults, and the ever-increasing responsibilities of adulthood.

 

I'll highlight an item on your list to further explain: "Prove you want to spend more time with me because you enjoy to not because you have to." I'm sorry to say, but that is an ask that no human being can fulfill. It's a trap, an attack, something effective in a courtroom but not in a shared home. One, the moment someone is having to "prove" something is the moment that authenticity is gone. Two, how can someone show you they sincerely enjoy something, rather than doing something out of obligation, when you have made it obligatory? It's impossible, like demanding a child not only clean their plate after dinner, but that they enjoy it, and prove to you the level of joy.

 

I don't say all that to make you feel bad, or to shift blame. Life is hard, relationships can be hard, and sometimes someone who seems so right can turn out to be anything but, or only right for a certain time. Your husband has been dismissive, disrespectful, no question about it. But at certain point you have to be honest about whether you remain open to the relationship, or not, and that is different—very, very different—from being open to still wanting to punish and control, to seek vengeance by engaging in the very behavior you find disturbing.

 

The answer to all that might not come in the next hour, or next week, and that's okay. As it comes into focus, however, I'd suggest that you challenge yourself—for your own sense of being, for your own sense of self, if not for the relationship—to be less reactive and more patient. Wherever this goes, you will thank yourself later for that effort.

[Loralora]

I know you're feeling down but I'm having trouble understanding why you texted him the list. It's hurtful also to be on the receiving end of something like that at work. As disrespectful as he has been towards you in your marriage, there should be some respect for each others' occupations. I think there's still too much of a mix with personal and professional. Don't send anymore texts or lists - it will drive you both further apart. He's avoiding you now and the levels of contempt are very high between the both of you. This will get harder and harder to repair or come back from.

 

Don't do anything else anymore. This would be for yourself and your sense of peace. With all your duties as a mum and at work, it's probably hard for you too to absorb the magnitude of what's happening in your marriage and sometimes we don't realize it until it's too late. You mentioned giving it a last try previously but this is making things worse.

 

.

It's very hard to pin him down in one place. That's why I sent it at work. I don't think he mines it's something we're used to doing.

 

He didn't want to talk much about the list after he came home. He just said yes I can do that.

I asked him do you have a list for me and he said no.

 

So we had dinner, coffee (which I made) talked about only the baby and then I asked him if he can stay with the baby while I take a shower and go out and do some shopping and he said ok.

 

Once I came back he again went out with another friend for like an hour (we live in the city center surrounded by coffee shopps and this is something people do here very often, especially my husband)

 

To be honest sometimes it bothers me that he does it so often.

He works a lot and then he spents most of his free time with his friends I told him it bothers me to not do it too much.

 

He works a lot and then goes out with friends alot. So it's like he's not home as much as he should be. Sometimes he goes cycling with this one friend after having worked so hard and just comes home and sleeps this disturbes our sexual life too because he is so tired he can't even have sex. (Something I have mentionet before just quickly I don't know if he really knows how much its bothering me.)

 

I'm waiting until things cool down so we can talk about our situation more...

 

P.s: I do think counseling will help us but that's not what people do here, I'm not sure something like that even exists here.

[SherrySher]

Crossing fingers for you, Lora. I hope you two can work it out!

 

Also, congratulations on your son.

[Loralora]

He doesn't talk much on general even when he's happy.

So an "ok" was an expected response from him once I sent him the list.

 

Even when things are well he responds very shortly.

 

After he came back form going out with the friend he was like let's go to bed. I said I need to feed the baby first. So he waited and didn't go until I fed the baby I think he wanted to make sure I didn't end up sleeping on the couch.

 

After I finished he was like ok lets go. I felt bad to tell him no I'm sleeping on the couch again. So I went in the bed room and I slept on the bed. He took that as a green light I think. So he hugged me and kissed me and went to sleep.

 

I hope he doesn't think we don't need to talk about anything else. I need to bring the things that bother me up again but in a lighter way maybe not in a nagging one.

[Loralora]

Crossing fingers for you, Lora. I hope you two can work it out!

 

Also, congratulations on your son.

 

Thank you !

[Loralora]

No one here can say that you were "wrong" to tell him not to have coffee with the nurse. What I'd ask is: Do you want to be someone—in a relationship, in your skin—who polices another adult? Does that bring pleasure or pain? Lift you up or bring you down? Do you want to trust to be an eternal test, or something built—and, when needed, repaired—together? When you look at the only person here that you have any control over—yourself—are you content in the habits you've developed as person, and partner, while living your life with and alongside this person? Is there anything you would like to do differently, along with all the things you'd like him to do differently?

 

Giving yourself some time to mull over such questions, I think, may offer more peace than serving someone with a pointed list and seeing how they handle the spin on the ball.

 

Being frank, the impression I get is that your distrust of him is a source of deep comfort, to such an extent that I'm not sure if trust has ever been a genuine component of your bond. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming this is the same man you wrote about in 2017, when things were five months in, and when, following a car accident that happened to occur on his ex's birthday, you logged onto his Facebook account, read his messages, and then asked him after the accident if he was "over" his ex. That, to me, is what it looks like to build a foundation on contempt and distrust, rather than compassion and trust. Draw a line from then to now, and the limitations of such a foundation are apparent. It's simply too weak to contain two adults, and the ever-increasing responsibilities of adulthood.

 

I'll highlight an item on your list to further explain: "Prove you want to spend more time with me because you enjoy to not because you have to." I'm sorry to say, but that is an ask that no human being can fulfill. It's a trap, an attack, something effective in a courtroom but not in a shared home. One, the moment someone is having to "prove" something is the moment that authenticity is gone. Two, how can someone show you they sincerely enjoy something, rather than doing something out of obligation, when you have made it obligatory? It's impossible, like demanding a child not only clean their plate after dinner, but that they enjoy it, and prove to you the level of joy.

 

I don't say all that to make you feel bad, or to shift blame. Life is hard, relationships can be hard, and sometimes someone who seems so right can turn out to be anything but, or only right for a certain time. Your husband has been dismissive, disrespectful, no question about it. But at certain point you have to be honest about whether you remain open to the relationship, or not, and that is different—very, very different—from being open to still wanting to punish and control, to seek vengeance by engaging in the very behavior you find disturbing.

 

The answer to all that might not come in the next hour, or next week, and that's okay. As it comes into focus, however, I'd suggest that you challenge yourself—for your own sense of being, for your own sense of self, if not for the relationship—to be less reactive and more patient. Wherever this goes, you will thank yourself later for that effort.

 

No I don't want to be someone that polices him. I wish I won't have to any longer. I want to be able to trust him that will take years to rebuild. And no I am not content with the habits I have developed. There are many things I wish I would do differently. (Or better yet be allowed) to do differently.

 

What I meant when I said "prove you want to spent more time because you enjoy" he can do that by not going so often out with his friends during his free time and staying with me more at home and while he stayes be happy and not angry because he'd rather be somewhere else.- that is what I meant when I said that.

 

I will take your great advice and try to apply it. Thank you for such great advice

 

There are still so many things that bother me that we haven't talked about but I need to pick a better time and way.

 

I hope I won't kick myself in the future for giving it this one last shot.

[Loralora]

One more thing..when I mentioned the sex part.

 

It's not like I'm this woman that craves it. Honestly i can go months without it but I know he can't....so if he's not doing it with me ?

 

It could be that he's too tired to do it with anybody..I don't know...

Another thing we have to talk about..

[Wiseman2]

He just ignores it because you huff and bluff and repeat yourself, but make no changes.

He didn't want to talk much about the list after he came home. He just said yes I can do that

[Loralora]

He just ignores it because you huff and bluff and repeat yourself, but make no changes.

 

I don't know if he ignored it or not time will tell. But if I see no changes from him I'm getting a divorce.

 

What changes should I make according to you Wiseman?

[Wiseman2]

Stop being a martyr. Make him sleep on the couch. Stop making his dinner doing his housework, doing his shopping. He wouldn't have time for affairs and cafes and boy's night out if he had to do his own shopping, laundry, make dinner, etc.

 

Stop focusing on silly stuff, stop acting like a jealous wife. Stop doing nonsense stuff like taking off your ring and pouting. Get realistic. Stop making excuses about covid if he brings this to you and your infant then claim you and your covid free infant can't stay with your covid free parents.

 

So far he knows you are just posturing, and blowing empty threats. He has no reason to change, because You won't change.

I don't know if he ignored it or not time will tell. But if I see no changes from him I'm getting a divorce.

 

What changes should I make according to you Wiseman?

[Loralora]

Stop being a martyr. Make him sleep on the couch. Stop making his dinner doing his housework, doing his shopping. He wouldn't have time for affairs and cafes and boy's night out if he had to do his own shopping, laundry, make dinner, etc.

 

Stop focusing on silly stuff, stop acting like a jealous wife. Stop doing nonsense stuff like taking off your ring and pouting. Get realistic. Stop making excuses about covid if he brings this to you and your infant then claim you and your covid free infant can't stay with your covid free parents.

 

So far he knows you are just posturing, and blowing empty threats. He has no reason to change, because You won't change.

 

The couch sleeping era is over. I am sleeping on the bed again. I also put my wedding ring back on since I decided to try again I want to do it right.

 

I don't know if you heard but European (Albanian more specificaly) men don't cook or do laundry. He does clean sometimes I can't take that away from him but very very rarely only when I am sick or something. When I was sick in the hospital he took his laundry to his mothers, he doesn't even know how to turn on the washing machine.

 

I blame mothers they do everything for their sons and make only their daughters work around the house so they grow up expecting everything from their wifes just like they did from their mothers. It's a real thing. Whoever I would find here I would get the same deal.

 

As for grocery shopping he always does that. Yesterday I just needed to get out of the house and bought some baby bottles and just some random stuff I didn't go out for grocery shopping.

 

He does change and feed the baby sometimes; only when I'm busy doing something else.

 

And no matter how busy he is (which is really busy) he ALWAYS finds time for his friends. He doesn't go out too late 9p.m is the latest and he's always home by 10 but still it shouldn't be that often. And he does it a few times a day. It's something he did before we were married and still hasn't realised that he can't do the same after getting married.

 

I am in Maternity Leave. Here we have 1 year for maternity leave. I know in the US it's much shorter. So any chance I get to get out of the house I take because I'm not used to staying inside so much.

 

I talked to my dad today...since the numer of covid cases here are now very low I can start going to my parents house more often and since my mom will be starting chemiotherapy I will have to be there and help her with everything.

 

So you see I am limitted so if he won't change I guess I have no other choice but to get a divorce..

 

There will be no more sleeping on the couch or taking off wedding rings this is it. If he won't change I'm just calling it quits.

 

You said stop focusing on silly things and acting like a jealous wife...so you think me asking him to not have coffee on the coffee break with the nurse(who clearly has an agenda)is silly?

 

Again she was just one of the many things that frustrate me. It's the feather that broke the camels back.

[Wiseman2]

Ok, he won't change and you can't make him with continual empty threats and tantrums. You claim his culture/nationality forces him to leave you as the household slave so he can hang out with friends, and you won't divorce, so nothing will happen and to you both grow old and miserable together.

I don't know if you heard but European (Albanian more specificaly) men don't cook or do laundry.

So you see I am limitted so if he won't change I guess I have no other choice but to get a divorce..

[Loralora]

Ok, he won't change and you can't make him with continual empty threats and tantrums. You claim his culture/nationality forces him to leave you as the household slave so he can hang out with friends, and you won't divorce, so nothing will happen and to you both grow old and miserable together.

 

Yes I certanly CAN NOT make him change. If he doesn't want to change then no I will not be able to make him otherwise he would have changed by now. I'm giving him one last shot if he doesn't take it he will lose me.

 

I hope he realises it in time. Things might go as far as me quiting and him realising he had to change only after we get a divorce.

 

Hey I don't mind the house work if everything else was okay. I'm used to the housework that's how my family raised us too, my brothers never did anything around the house I did everything and I was a medical student just like they. So I had to work twice as hard for everything in life.

 

Just like now. We are both doctors but I have much more extra work around the house than he does. I still have to work twice as hard. His exuse is I have two jobs. He does work in two places and I only work in one.

 

My parents never forced me to work around the house but I felt bad leaving my mom do everything alone. It's a very normal thing in our culture.

 

I will close this conversation by saying I promise myself things will change. I will change them.

 

Thank you for all of your input.

Good day.

I hope the next new thread will be about a happier subject.

[bluecastle]

And no matter how busy he is (which is really busy) he ALWAYS finds time for his friends. He doesn't go out too late 9p.m is the latest and he's always home by 10 but still it shouldn't be that often. And he does it a few times a day. It's something he did before we were married and still hasn't realised that he can't do the same after getting married.

 

Whose rules are these? Yours? Culture's? Or are they things you two agreed on—as in, prior to getting married, was it understood that, once the rings were on the fingers, he "couldn't" continue to see his friends as he did?

 

I ask these questions to try to talk about the difference between partnership (what I think you want) and warfare (what I think you have).

 

I don't want to minimize any hurt he has caused, or any way he has stirred distrust in you over the course of your relationship. Not for a second. That said, I really don't think you're going to find what you want by putting things in such harsh terms as "can't" and "shouldn't," since that is policing: an aggressive approach that will trigger a defensive response. Nor do I think you're going to find peace making this a story of him needing to change, or else, since that just reinforces a bitter power dynamic, one where you get power by snapping the whip and he finds power in dodging the lashings, one where you each look into the mirror of the other and take comfort in seeing the worst version of yourself reflected back to you.

 

Whether this is all a lost cause, or not, is a question that time will answer. In the meantime, I think you—you both—need to find a way to see this as a time where you both need to change, or evolve, together and alongside each other, in order to restore harmony where, right now, there is acrimony. Think of your relationship as a home, rather than a prison, one you both have a hand in building and dismantling every day. The ceiling is leaking, the foundation is rotted, and the electrical wiring is outdated, to the point where it only nominally provides shelter and security. These are facts, not judgements. These are things need to be addressed, not further stressed, and the only way that can be done is if both of you have even a shred of faith that, together, you have what it takes to renovate the home.

 

Is he remotely open to seeing it like that? I don't know. But if you're not? Well, then it really doesn't matter what's in his head, his heart, since we humans are hardwired to find ways to confirm our most dominant beliefs—in ourselves, in others, in the world at large.

[Rose Mosse]

I can't help but think after all of this that the reason it's heightened to this level (the negativity between the both of you) is because both of you may feel trapped in a traditional marriage with the idea that there's no way out. People don't enter marriages thinking they will divorce but it does inevitably happen if one or both partners is/are no longer willing to work on the marriage. The members on the thread are trying to help you see that your actions aren't going to bring the both of you closer together but neither is his behaviour.

 

I don't think having coffee with the nurse, deflecting you and how upset you are or ignoring or avoiding you is indicative of someone who wants to be in the marriage any longer. Some part of you has to recognize that. It may take months or years before you're ready to leave. The end result doesn't change if he keeps feigning he's busy or makes excuses to see his friends. I'm not understanding either how he has time to go out with his friends after work but he doesn't have time to speak with you about your list. That's a clear sign someone is NOT busy and he's ignoring you.

 

What he's doing is hoping you'll flip flop enough, rage to yourself, feel guilty in solitary confinement or by stonewalling you and expect you to come down from your anger only to come crawling back to him wanting to try to make things work again. This cycle can only go on for so long. If he's not respecting you at all, call a spade a spade when you're ready and don't put up with this type of behaviour or emotional abuse.

[Loralora]

Whose rules are these? Yours? Culture's? Or are they things you two agreed on—as in, prior to getting married, was it understood that, once the rings were on the fingers, he "couldn't" continue to see his friends as he did?

 

I ask these questions to try to talk about the difference between partnership (what I think you want) and warfare (what I think you have).

 

I don't want to minimize any hurt he has caused, or any way he has stirred distrust in you over the course of your relationship. Not for a second. That said, I really don't think you're going to find what you want by putting things in such harsh terms as "can't" and "shouldn't," since that is policing: an aggressive approach that will trigger a defensive response. Nor do I think you're going to find peace making this a story of him needing to change, or else, since that just reinforces a bitter power dynamic, one where you get power by snapping the whip and he finds power in dodging the lashings, one where you each look into the mirror of the other and take comfort in seeing the worst version of yourself reflected back to you.

 

Whether this is all a lost cause, or not, is a question that time will answer. In the meantime, I think you—you both—need to find a way to see this as a time where you both need to change, or evolve, together and alongside each other, in order to restore harmony where, right now, there is acrimony. Think of your relationship as a home, rather than a prison, one you both have a hand in building and dismantling every day. The ceiling is leaking, the foundation is rotted, and the electrical wiring is outdated, to the point where it only nominally provides shelter and security. These are facts, not judgements. These are things need to be addressed, not further stressed, and the only way that can be done is if both of you have even a shred of faith that, together, you have what it takes to renovate the home.

 

Is he remotely open to seeing it like that? I don't know. But if you're not? Well, then it really doesn't matter what's in his head, his heart, since we humans are hardwired to find ways to confirm our most dominant beliefs—in ourselves, in others, in the world at large.

No we didn't agree on him not seeing his friends as he did. We're having this friend issue eversince the baby came. And I would never tell him to stop seeing his friends but not 3 to 4 times a day. Not to overdue it or he can see them even 3 to 4 times (sometimes) a day as long as I don't need him at home. Or when everything is okay at home.

 

As a new dad he should be around the house more he knows the baby is a handful and help me a little more. I haven't been able to see my friends even for an hour ever since I gave birth.

 

Whenever I go out I have to come back quick. He even gets angry when I go out and I am late because he doesn't want to spent time at home when he can spet it with friends. He always makes sure I leave formula for the baby ready made when I get out and tells me to come back for the next feeding because he doesn't even know how to make it. I told him I'll show you but he wasn't interested.

He's like "don't be late because I'm meeting an X friend for coffee in two hours." It's just frustrating he can't stay one day at home all day long !!

Another interesting fact is that these friends of his are either single or divorced... of course they have time !

 

He's like I work alot I need this going out friend relaxation. I guess staying with me and the baby isn't relaxing for him. Of course now it isn't but before this huge blow up we didn't fight amd he still went out alot.

 

As I said before he works alot and is tired on top of that he goes out all day long and getts even more tired and then just jumps into bed...no quality time for him and I or intimate time hece our sexual life takes a toll...no wonder I'm jealous! It's disturbing and I'm getting a little tired of it also.

 

I agree we both need to change. Thank you

[Loralora]

I can't help but think after all of this that the reason it's heightened to this level (the negativity between the both of you) is because both of you may feel trapped in a traditional marriage with the idea that there's no way out. People don't enter marriages thinking they will divorce but it does inevitably happen if one or both partners is/are no longer willing to work on the marriage. The members on the thread are trying to help you see that your actions aren't going to bring the both of you closer together but neither is his behaviour.

 

I don't think having coffee with the nurse, deflecting you and how upset you are or ignoring or avoiding you is indicative of someone who wants to be in the marriage any longer. Some part of you has to recognize that. It may take months or years before you're ready to leave. The end result doesn't change if he keeps feigning he's busy or makes excuses to see his friends. I'm not understanding either how he has time to go out with his friends after work but he doesn't have time to speak with you about your list. That's a clear sign someone is NOT busy and he's ignoring you.

 

What he's doing is hoping you'll flip flop enough, rage to yourself, feel guilty in solitary confinement or by stonewalling you and expect you to come down from your anger only to come crawling back to him wanting to try to make things work again. This cycle can only go on for so long. If he's not respecting you at all, call a spade a spade when you're ready and don't put up with this type of behaviour or emotional abuse.

 

I don't think we're staying because we're trapped in a traditional marriage. I met him at college our parents didn't know each other before we met, they met through us. We kept our relationship hidden from our parents for almost a year.

 

He had time to talk about the list; he just didn't want to. He said I can do it and there's nothing more to talk about it.

I asked him again today. Did you read the list carefully and he said yes. Can you fufill it he said yes. He doesn't want to say or talk more about it. So I guess I'll have to wait and see if anything changes from now on. I will try to change some of my bad habits also.

 

He is trying to be more attentive I'll have to see...No I will not put up with old habits

 

Thank you