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Hey everyone!

 

I've been in a on-off long-distance relationship with someone for the past 6 years. In 2015 he broke up with me for the first time and revelead he was a drug addict (addicted to oxys). He came back after 2 months saying it was all because of drugs and loved me and etc.

 

He broke up with me more times after that and I implemented NO CONTACT but he would eventually find a way to contact me. And he manipulated me always. This whole situation made me feel like he loved me. He was fantastic in the beginning of the relationship.

 

Now he has been 1 year sober and he contacted me in July after 3 months no contact. We would eventually text since July of this year and it seems we were in good terms. And I said he could count on me if he ever needed to talk and etc. but didn't answer.

 

This is what he texted me yesterday:

- I stop answering because I feel you say things out of intimacy and I don't want you to get hurt by me again. I don't enjoy hurting your emotions. You don't understand?

 

And then I said:

I know you for 6 years and I can't talk to you openly? I hate silent treatment. I hate when you don't express things. You don't like the way I talk to you? Just say it. Im not trying to have a relationship with you, I am a caring person. I wanted to keep you close because I care, I don't want anything bad happens to you. If you don't want me to be this way. Just say it. Honesty doesn't bother me. This leaving on read thing bothers me.

 

And he didn't answer and it makes me sad. I just want him to tell me he wants... There's a lot I could add to this story. I went through a lot because of this person. What can I do?

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This is what he texted me yesterday:

- I stop answering because I feel you say things out of intimacy and I don't want you to get hurt by me again. I don't enjoy hurting your emotions. You don't understand?

 

He's trying to tell you to stop texting him, without being too blunt and hurting your feelings.

 

He can see you have feelings for him, and he doesn't want to lead you on and make you think there's a chance. He doesn't feel the same way anymore, so it's best to cut contact for good.

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He's trying to tell you to stop texting him, without being too blunt and hurting your feelings.

 

He can see you have feelings for him, and he doesn't want to lead you on and make you think there's a chance. He doesn't feel the same way anymore, so it's best to cut contact for good.

 

Hello MissCanuck! Thanks for your answer.

I just don't want understand why he contacts me when I do no contact for months. I didn't contact him first.

But I wont keep text him.

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Sorry to hear this. he is not adding value to your life. An addicts primary relationship is with their substance. Everyone else is just a pawn to that end to pretend he has a "normal" life.

Now he has been 1 year sober and he contacted me in July after 3 months no contact. We would eventually text since July of this year and it seems we were in good terms. And I said he could count on me if he ever needed to talk and etc. but didn't answer.
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All things must come to and end. You supported, and gave what you could. Their life has changed, and your relationship has run it's course. This is quite normal...people just out grow each other, and move onto a new chapter in their life. You sound like a good person... there is so much more to life than having this guy in your life.....move on, and discover new things, new people. Spread your wings and fly!

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I just want him to tell me he wants... There's a lot I could add to this story. I went through a lot because of this person.

 

He's been telling what he wants through his actions for years.

He wants free access to you at anytime on his terms. He isn't interested in giving you want you need and doesn't care that he hurts you.

Typical selfish addict behavior. He may be sober, but he'll always be an addict.

You can beg him to tell you, but his words won't match his actions.

Your answer is in his actions.

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He contacts you because you let him. You give him attention. And he can clearly see that despite your denials, you still hope you two will reconcile in a romantic relationship. Even if you won't admit it to yourself.

 

He's not going to give you what you want. So, time to give yourself what you want and remove this guy from your life so you can find someone better for you.

 

Two years ago you posted this:

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=552463

Nothing has changed or improved in two years. So why do you keep trying?

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