This man

[Batya33]

I think there's some confusion about the timeline. I stopped talking to him after my Google research, and we didn't talk for 2 weeks.

He then contacted me with work questions, and we resumed our conversation.

I never changed my story, maybe it was not clear but I wrote about this in my first thread.

 

So you resumed the personal conversation two weeks later.

[kim42]

Yes, it started with his questions about work and then became personal again.

I mention this in my first thread, sorry if it was confusing for you guys. I thought it was important to say there was a 2-week break.

I didn't change the story though.

[Batya33]

Yes, it started with his questions about work and then became personal again.

I mention this in my first thread, sorry if it was confusing for you guys. I thought it was important to say there was a 2-week break.

I didn't change the story though.

 

Well no. Your post and posts after were really misleading. The two week break was because he was not in contact, right? I asked you whether you stopped communicating personally once you knew he had a girlfriend. Because your first post was confusing. You said you stopped. But now it turns out (head spinning) you did not stop. He stopped contacting you but once he contacted you again you chose to have personal (flirty?) conversations even though you now knew he had a girlfriend.

I think the real issue here is your continued dishonesty but not to us-to yourself. it's part of your making excuses. It's what I wrote above -nothing to do with your command of the English language -that is obvious to me. That was another excuse. This kind of twisting the story in a pretzel and misleading just shows where you are at as far as the choices you make. I'd take a hard look at that if I were you.

[kim42]

No, I’m not making excuses, it happened exactly how I described in the first thread. It might have been confusing after all these pages, but I have no reason to change the story.

The two-week break was because I found out he had a gf, so I stopped talking to him. I never denied replying to his message when he reached out 2 weeks later.

I think some people will still believe I’ve changed the story, and it’s alright, I don’t feel like explaining this all over again.

[Batya33]

No, I’m not making excuses, it happened exactly how I described in the first thread. It might have been confusing after all these pages, but I have no reason to change the story.

The two-week break was because I found out he had a gf, so I stopped talking to him. I never denied replying to his message when he reached out 2 weeks later.

I think some people will still believe I’ve changed the story, and it’s alright, I don’t feel like explaining this all over again.

 

You certainly did change your story:

 

"Yes, Batya, I did stop texting him after I found out he had a gf. We didn't talk for about 2 weeks when he reached out to ask about work. He then had more work-related questions, and then we just started to talk more about random things😐"

 

 

"Random things' is hiding it under the rug. You mean once he reached out again you proceeded down the path of back to the personal/flirtatious messages. Not random at all. Personal. You stopped initiating texts. You didn't stop responding to personal texts.

 

And he didn't text you for two weeks. Right?? It's not like he reached out and you ignored him or kept it to work related. Please don't hide behind "he initiated it so I am blameless"

 

In my humble opinion you're playing some games here and hiding the ball is one of them. Just please consider since I am not the only one who was confused.

[kim42]

That’s exactly what I said in my first thread:

 

“We hadn’t been in touch for almost 2 weeks when he contacted me again about a work issue. He started to reach out more often to ask questions about work. And slowly, our texts stopped being about work and we started to talk about random stuff, just like before. I know I should have stopped it, but I didn’t.”

 

There was a 2-week silence and then the conversation started again, but I didn’t hide this fact. I couldn’t ignore his work questions, I hope at least that makes sense. By random things I meant he asked me about my vacation and what kind of cuisine I like. And I never said it was all his fault, I keep saying from the beginning it was my fault too.

 

I think it’s just you and Sherry who are confused, and I don’t think it makes sense to talk about this any longer, you can read my first thread if it’s still confusing.

[Batya33]

That’s exactly what I said in my first thread:

 

“We hadn’t been in touch for almost 2 weeks when he contacted me again about a work issue. He started to reach out more often to ask questions about work. And slowly, our texts stopped being about work and we started to talk about random stuff, just like before. I know I should have stopped it, but I didn’t.”

 

There was a 2-week silence and then the conversation started again, but I didn’t hide this fact. I couldn’t ignore his work questions, I hope at least that makes sense. By random things I meant he asked me about my vacation and what kind of cuisine I like. And I never said it was all his fault, I keep saying from the beginning it was my fault too.

 

I think it’s just you and Sherry who are confused, and I don’t think it makes sense to talk about this any longer, you can read my first thread if it’s still confusing.

 

I don't mind being confused or duped. So was Felix: "She was friendly towards another person and once she new he had a girlfriend, ensured that it didn't go to far. She's has handled herself well and been honest and mature throughout. "

 

 

I suggested to you you ask yourself why you tried to hide this fact and yes, three reasonably intelligent adults were confused. If you think this shouldn't trigger your own internal evaluation, so be it. Many asked you why you continued to make excuses. So, when you seemed to be alluding to random talk instead of being clear what random was I saw that as added on to the sense many have gotten in this thread that you were trying to make excuses. Whether you think you were clear or not it sounds like many pages of you trying to make excuses. I think you may have seen the light though so yes, we can agree to disagree on the confusion part. I hope you're moving on/feeling better.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this thread has turned into a joint attack on you. Ignore people who have an ax to grind. You flirted, you ended that. Done.

[Batya33]

Sorry this thread has turned into a joint attack on you. Ignore people who have an ax to grind. You flirted, you ended that. Done.

 

I am not attacking at all. I felt duped and/or confused. As did two other people. I asked the poster to consider if the many people who questioned her excuses might make her consider a self evaluation. And on top of that three people misread her story in very significant parts and her comments about "random stuff" were not all that direct seems to me. So, not an attack. A suggestion that she do a bit more self-evaluation lest she make excuses when another opportunity presents itself. An opportunity presented itself to me just this morning, again. So I bet it will happen again to the OP and hopefully she'll be self-honest from the get go (about the excuses, putting aside the three adults who read that she ended all personal talk when she learned he had a girlfriend).

 

I have no axe to grind. I haven't been cheated on, for one thing.

[kim42]

Thank you Wise, I think I'll go offline for a few days because I do feel attacked and it seems this thread has lost its purpose.

Thanks everyone who took the time to write meaningful comments😊

[Batya33]

Thank you Wise, I think I'll go offline for a few days because I do feel attacked and it seems this thread has lost its purpose.

Thanks everyone who took the time to write meaningful comments😊

 

You're welcome! I am sorry if you felt attacked. I think the thread had the great purpose of giving you insight and self awareness and getting down to basics. My purpose was never to attack. I am sorry if you felt that way, for sure.

[SherrySher]

Kim, I don't appreciate you throwing me under the bus either.

I wrote to you that I wasn't trying to be mean to you, but that you weren't being honest.

 

I wrote that after Dancingfool pointed out similar harsh truths, out as well as Blue. You kept trying to hide certain facts and a few of us brought it out to light.

You didn't like that and now you're not happy.

 

But if you don't want honest opinions and you don't want to change or admit what actually went on, then it gets you nowhere, you know?

My intentions were never to do anything but give honest insight, and you kept taking it the wrong way.

[SherrySher]

Last comment I will say though, if different comments made you feel bad, you can only imagine what his girlfriend is going to feel like or has felt like knowing what he's done.

 

It's very painful. (I know you've been on that side).

 

Or worse, someone's wife or girlfriend does find out and comes and screams in your face. You don't want that insanity either, so best to just stick to the single guys.

[HeartGoesOn]

Thread closed per member request.